Help needed re divorce

[MauveLeader]

I am a first time poster but need some of you smart Mumsnetters to help please.

So after being strangled and told I'd be killed if I didn't move out I left my family home. 2 children where away at uni , one child 15 at home.

So he then went on to text me repeatedly I was a C* and a whore. Whilst I was at work visiting palliative patients. He eventually stopped when my girls told him off.

Anyway I could go on , theres a lot. Essentially the house was worth over 300k, he got it valued at 200k🤷 then gave me 80. Fuck all for the contents etc.

Now it seems regarding my divorce I have to do mediation. There is NO way he will be amenable or reasonable. So i just feel absolutely fucked. Has anyone had to do this, any advice, I am desperate.

You need to call the police regarding the strangling incident and a solicitor to deal with the divorce.

It is unclear how he was able to undervalue your house and then give you £80k; and you need a lawyer to sort this out. You can’t be kicked out of your home if you own it and he needs to go.

Did you log strangling or threats with the police, did you take pictures? Is your 15 yo in the home still? Is she safe, can you bring her with you?

Where did he get the valuations from? Did he go to an estate agent? Did you accept the 80k do you know have it in your bank account? Are you on the house deeds or did you sign anything?

If you have the 80k I would spend some of that on legal advice. You dont have to do mediation if there is violence or harassment

Police for the very serious assault and threats.

Solicitor, even a one off consultation, so you know your rights. You get a portion of everything including savings, cars and pensions.

Regarding the house - he needed to get three valuations from different estate agents. And 80k from 200k isn't 50/50 either (which is the starting point).

I would also suggest you contact Women's Aid for support. I think you need it
www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/

mediation isn’t appropriate when there has been domestic violence. And if you’re not yet divorced then the 80k settlement is up for debate. Go to a solicitor.

No, I never reported it to police, he is a police officer. As such he would lose his job and the would be terrible for the kids. I have a solicitor who has said I must go through mediation unless I have been through Marac ( I haven't) He will not politely say oh, sure yes well I will happily pay you the money I owe you.
So i have a solicitor. The ex came to my house and asked me to sign documents when I was depressed, I had no idea what i was signing and signed to get him out the house.

My solicitor said the same about my abusive ex. I then spoke to a magistrate who said the court will absolutely understand that mediation is not appropriate where there has been situations of abuse or if you feel intimidated. Refuse

Please refuse mediation.
His job is not your concern.
Please report his strangulation of you.
Please call Womens aid for advice and support.
Please tell WA tjat he is a police officer who tried to kill you.

His job makes no difference or are you suggesting the police are above the law. He knew what he was doing. Get a police complaint filed and get a solicitor. What is the point of asking for advice but then not acting upon it? Things will continue to be crap for you if you don't act.