Totally upset with my husband

[Kerensab]

I am so upset at my husband for allowing his life long female friend to sit on his lap while next to me and for him kissing his friends mum (65yrs old) on her lips.
I am furious.
To forgive or not to?

Was this on the same night? With all respect, it doesn’t sound too bad. What’s her age got to do with it?

It sounds bad to me.

Why would his female friend be sitting on his lap?
Would you sit on your male friends lap? No most likely. It's very intimate.

If you say "can you not invite other women to sit on your lap and kiss them on the mouth"

What's his response?

You already posted about this a couple of days ago OP.
Yes his behaviour isn't acceptable for a married man
Especially as he told you to expect him to do it again. So if you forgive him he is only going to continue to behave inappropriately with other women.
He doesn't sound as though he respects you and doesn't care about your feelings.

You already had plenty of advice when you posted about this. Why post again?

Posting again because someone thought I was being unreasonable.

It was all on same night.

As for the woman's age he was defending himself that it didn't mean anything as she is old.
To be honest I don't care about age.Its the act of doing it.

When asked he confirmed with no apology that he kissed her and said his female childhood friends will probably continue sitting on his lap

He has no respect for you. Make of that what you will.

Well OP they might be childhood friends but they are not children now.

What is often considered innocent and appropriate behaviour in childhood is not always innocent and appropriate behaviour in adults. And sitting on each other's laps is one of these behaviours.

You posted in AIBU, and someone posted YABU so you posted the same post in AIBU again?

You don't need anyone's permission to split up from your husband. Not his, not randoms on AIBU, not your friends, not your family. If you don't want to be treated as an option while he fondles other women, then you can just walk away.

I don’t remember anyone thinking you were being unreasonable, OP, but surely it’s irrelevant anyway? I’m married and go on holiday with male friends which many people on Mn would see as unacceptable, but only the people in a marriage get to have an opinion. Yours is clear. You don’t need anyone else’s permission to end your marriage, and a Brussels is dullish.

I second this. It doesn't really matter what other people think. You know in your heart that you're not happy with your husband. He's probably not going to change. Will you put up with his behaviour or walk away? That's the question

Instead of dealing with it.
You have ignored the previous advice and posted again!
You are obviously not going to do anything but fester about it so YABU

A snog or a peck?

Don't you want people to tell you if they think you're unreasonable?

Yeah this.

It also sounds like you had a lot of advice which you’re choosing to ignore. This is all quite unusual behaviour, are you OK?

How old is your dh? I feel it's relevant seeing as you aged her at 65.

Was it with tongues? That is unacceptable, a peck not so much.

Were they short of chairs, is that why she was on his lap?

😂 who kisses their friends mum on the lips?

😂 short of chairs? That has tickled me! If that was the case his wife could have sat on his lap!

Well obviously OP's DH did.
I don't know why you and other pp are trying to make a joke out of behaviour which OP found upsetting.

@Imtryingnottoworry. I agree it's unacceptable. I was responding to @cryinglaughing who said a peck is ok. I just think who on earth kisses anyone but their partner or young child on lips?

Maybe, just maybe, she turned her head and it ended up in the lips when that wasn't the intention.
It certainly wouldn't be the first time it had ever happened and OP hasn't made it exactly clear.

Erm, read your first responses.

@BarbaraWoodlouse1 I wonder what your standards are if you say its not too bad.
Are you okay with other women lapping on your husband and are you okay with him kissing any lips?