I’m worthless

[Catoutthebag1]

I’m so worthless. I’m so bad at interviews, I had one on Thursday and I forgot to ask some of my main questions at the end that I feel were important but they went out my mind for some reason, I still asked questions but forgot these ones. then I got something wrong which I feel was a test to see if I’d been listening. It’s not that I hadn’t listened I was just nervous 😭 I fail at everything and can’t stop beating myself up about it. 0% chance of getting this job that I know I’d be good at but I suck at interviews. I give up.

Interviews are horrid, OP. Many, many people hate them and that doesn’t make anyone worthless. They take practice, but you can learn to improve on the skill, and I’ll bet you’re being way too hard on yourself anyway. I think very few people come away from interviews thinking they did brilliantly.

If worth is measured by how good you are at interviews then most people I know are pretty worthless including myself. Interviews are horrible, and very difficult for a lot of people. All you can do is practice as much as possible and try to relax and not take them too seriously, which I know is easier said than done.

I interview people on occasion and I’m always really nervous about it. We’re all just people.

Obviously there is more pressure if you are the one being interviewed but be kind to yourself. You’ll get one of them.

And the ones you don’t get? Well you just never know who you are up against, don’t take it personally.

Please don’t think of yourself as worthless.

You certainly are not worthless. It's really interesting and surprising whenever obviously 'successful' people let others know about all the strings and strings of professional rejections they've had. I've got a whole email folder with a zillion sections in it that houses all the dozens and dozens of job applications I've made. If you read my professional bio I look like blooming wonder woman.

Moving forwards write your questions down. A simple "I've written some questions down from when I was doing my pre interview research for this role, let me just check if they've been answered". Reach in your pocket and pull them out. Take a deep breath whilst scanning and either ask one or don't. Some interviewers are impressed that you've made the effort to do some homework before hand.

What a good idea x

As someone who has interviewed people before, I never let a candidates nerves affect their chances of being hired, it’s a stressful situation but it absolutely does not make you worthless. Every ‘failed’ interview is just another opportunity to practice and improve on for next time

I interview people, and consider nervousness a positive trait.
It tells me you’re not a cocky arrogant twat, and care about getting the position.

And also - remember the point of the interview - it's to find someone to fill the vacancy. The interviewers want you to do well. They're on your side. They want to be able to mark you with a "would be well above average for this job".

Thanks everyone. You have helped me feel a bit better. Im just anxious for next week when im most likely rejected as I feel like I'll feel even worse about myself because I know I could have done better.

I’m terrible at interviews too. I’m cringing now remembering some of the stupid things I’ve said. It doesn’t make me worthless though and neither does it you.

Could you try and get employment through an agency to avoid a formal interview?

Don’t be so hard on yourself. Most people are nervous at interviews, and you always leave an interview thinking why didn’t I say this or that. You probably did better than you think, if you don’t get the job just keep trying you will get there.

I hope you know you are hugely over-reacting.

have you ever done any CBT? I think it would be very useful for you to be able to spot patterns of destructive thinking. In your OP alone I saw catastrophising, black & white thinking, fortune telling, mental filter - pretty much every type of cognitive distortion.

Obviously you are not actually worthless.

Not asking some questions in an interview due to nerves does not make you worthless. It makes you someone who gets a little distracted under pressure - like most of us! It makes you normal. You don't know the outcome of the interview, so no point guessing it.

Have you considered what you did right? You got to interview stage, you arrived at the right place, presumably at the right time. I'm guessing you made an effort with your appearance. You asked some questions and didn;t ask others.
So all in all, you did okay.

Please read up on cognitive distortion and self compassion. It will change your life. (Advice from someone who used to think like you do and now almost never does, thanks to CBT)