Gift for friend recently diagnosed with cancer

[Barnybrown]

A very dear friend has recently been diagnosed with cancer. It has been caught early - the prognosis is very positive. She is having surgery at the end of the month to remove a lump from her breast and may then need radiotherapy but hopefully not chemo. I would like to put together a care box for her before she goes into hospital - does anyone have recommendations for things I could get which will be nice and useful for her please ?

Sorry to hear about your friend. Not another bunch of flowers is good - have a look at their website x

I was sent a parcel recently as I've had an operation. It had some lovely tea bags I'd never tried before, fennel and mint and roots (so. Turmeric etc).
A bookmark
A magazine
Some chocolate

I was so touched that someone thought to do that for me.

I put my sil a little gift basket with things for the hospital, she also had surgery she’s had a really awful time. I bought nice hand cream, really soft socks, lovely lip balm few other bits she likes.

A friend made me a heart shaped pillow to help keep my breast away from my armpit whilst I healed. She also sent me badges to put on my hospital gown bag (we got given our own for the duration of the radiotherapy).

Treatment is tiring. If you cooked some meals and froze them they could prove a godsend.

I recently did this and included fluffy socks,hand cream,lip balm,assortment of ginger biscuits,cordial and ginger sweets for sickness ,relaxing pillow mist ,some mouth gel from pharmacy for sore chemo mouth
Lots of options

Home-cooked frozen meals - she may feel too tired to cook
Altoids and ginger biscuits to help with the nausea
Electrolytes to rehydrate after vomiting
Imodium for the diarrhoea
Gentle skincare to help with the irritation
An uplifting scented candle (citrus scents are often associated with energy and positivity)
Nicer than normal hand cream

A combination of things which are practical and things which will add a touch of joy or luxury to the everyday.

Depending on how much you want to spend, an electric throw.

I wouldn't buy things for chemo if she's not definitely having chemo, it could worry her more. After my lumpectomy I didn't stay in hospital overnight. I'd have liked flowers or chocolates as a little luxury, and love the idea of little cushions for arms, shoulder etc as it was quite uncomfortable to sleep. Or magazine, if she likes them, as they're so pricy it's also a nice treat.

Friend's DH bought her a Calvin Klein bathrobe/dressing gown, super soft, a little pricey so it felt like a luxury. She still has it 10+ years on from her treatment.

My colleagues put together a box of lovely gifts when I was in hospital with chemo toxicity after my first (and last) cycle of chemotherapy.

Everyone is different, obviously, but for me the things that I really liked were:
Lip balm
Evian facial water mist spray
Plain shortbread biscuits
Nice plain notebook and pen
Instant chocolate horlicks drinks sachets
Unscented body moisturiser in pump bottle
Little cheesy biscuits
Nice squash
Butterscotch sweets

Things I didn't like:
Stem ginger biscuits
Ginger and lemon tea
Mindfulness notebook with sections to fill in every day
Book of brain puzzles
Expensive molton brown body wash (brought me up in an allergic rash)
Special boiled sweets in some really weird flavours

Things I would very much have liked to have had:
Nice but unscented cleansing wipes
Moist toilet tissue (I had horrendous diarrhoea)
Little knitted cape to keep my shoulders warm when I couldn't put my arms in sleeves because of drips
Audiobook credits

I was extremely unwell and unable to think properly most of the time, and I had a number of extremely unpleasant allergic reactions/side effects. I am very aware this doesn't happen to most people - this is only my own experience. Radiotherapy also gave me horrendous radiation burns- I needed to use lots of unscented and very simple moisturiser. It was incredibly painful, so really soft vest tops with no seams were needed for me (breast cancer).

I think the thing I would have liked most would have been the little knitted cape. Everything else can be ordered from Amazon etc. but having to have a drip in 24 hours a day for nearly 2 weeks meant I could never put that arm into a sleeve and my shoulders got very cold.

Your experience sounds awful. Thanks for giving those suggestions — they sound perfect for a care box.

People who are suggesting making meals aren't answering the question asked.

Thanks so much for all these suggestions they are great. Can anyone recommend some specific brands for soft vest tops or button down nightclothes - any that you have had and would recommend ? And same with unscented smellies - I know she loves L’occitane but now thinking they may be too scented ?

I will make some meals as well but want to get her some bits to help her feel cared for personally - if that makes sense. So these suggestions are all so helpful

audio books subscription

@Barnybrown I also love L'Occitane but I have only just started to use it again 9 months after surgery. When having radiotherapy I was told to use only E45 cream. When I came out of hospital with nasty allergic reactions they gave me some diprobase cream, but I needed to use a lot and had to buy some more. Also - think about some very simple unscented liquid soap.

The best thing I was given for radiotherapy was a travel size Moo goo body lotion. I could put it on in the cubicle after treatment and it was really handy. I also had a pretty cloth shopping bag to keep it in and the top they give you to keep for the week. Some fluffy warm socks for scans and radio are good too. After surgery the heart shaped pillow was the best thing - I still use it a year later! A pulse point or pillow spay in lavender was a good gift too, soothing and calming at bed time.

E45 is a good idea. The shower cream is lovely too. And the spray moisturisers is really cooling when it hits the skin.

The cape suggestion was really thoughtful too. Perhaps something like a pashmina in her favourite colour so she can drape it over her shoulders or wear it like a blanket.

I was diagnosed with cancer last September and the most practical presents I have received are fancy hand creams. I have a stoma and wash my hands umpteen times a day as I have to empty my ostomy bag frequently. Lip balm is nice to get too. The hospital I was treated in didn’t allow flowers but I was delighted when I got home and received flowers.

@Barnybrown also... I bought myself lots of button up pyjamas/nightdresses, but I found that an oversized soft t-shirt style top was better most of the time. Button up ones were useful for when the district nurses came to check my drain. I made myself drain bags, but actually only needed my drain for 4 days, so didn't really use those much.
One of the things I found most helpful after surgery was having company to sit with me to encourage me to do my exercises. They hurt! And having somebody to clean the bathroom for me when I wasn't able to do it myself. I bought myself a box of sick bowls from Amazon... they were extremely useful, but if your friend isn't having chemo hopefully she won't need those.

I stress that most people do NOT go through what I went through - I don't want anybody just starting their cancer journey to panic about it.

I'd suggest a chat with her first. You are so kind and we'll meaning but I had a relative who was very ill found gifts triggering - another reminder of being sick. And it's hard to know if company is welcome or not at a vulnerable time.

A phone call to listen to them and pick up on her cues would be the greatest gift as you'll be able to work out her headspace and support her how she needs you x

Looking back can't really think of much for presents, depends on how her treatment is. There are lots of nice things but these are very practical ...

lots of baby wipes. Can feel a bit grubby if you can't get out of bed. Especially if they put your dinner on your chest. Sucky sweets, fruit pastel type things.

Also nice dry hair shampoo, if you can't wash your hair every day. In fact, check out if she has a travel hairdryer, she may not be able to lift her arms enough to use ordinary one. Send love to your friend.

Also tell her that she doesn't owe anyone daily updates!

An extra long charging cable is useful if you can’t stretch easily and are using devices in bed.

for absolute beauty and a touch of glamour have a look at the dressing gown/ robes on Here Pricey but so soft and instantly feel gorgeous.

A good book, a puzzle book, a phone charger, a portable power bank, a water bottle, thick socks, a blanket, wet wipes, "no wash" soap (the stuff for camping/festivals that comes out of the bottle as a foam for cleaning hands/body without water). If you know her fav snacks, some of those too - might tempt her to eat something.

My dad had cancer and spent a lot of time in hospital. It's time-consuming and boring, whether radio or chemo. (He had both.) It's also cold and tiring.

I made a box for my friend, bits to eat and chocolate, hand made felt flowers as you aren't allowed real flowers in hospital, a colouring book, other bits and bobs.

Soft fluffy fleece blanket - easy to fold up and put in a bag - so much nicer than hospital ones when you are having chemo / treatment.

primark do lovely ones .