Am I wrong to not want to go?

[GinsAndRoses]

Hello everyone, I just want to know if I am BU or not.

I have been with my DP for 3 years and get on well with his family especially his older sister I would consider her one of my close friends now. DP has a younger sister too who is the “black sheep” of the family, whilst the rest of the family are hard workers and keep themselves to themselves don’t really have problems or drama she is the total opposite. She is rude, often in fights, often gets arrested, she even went to prison before for drug dealing!

Now to where I might be unreasonable, it is my DP mums birthday next week so DPs older sister has arranged an afternoon tea and spa afternoon treat for herself, mum, me and younger sister as a gift. At the time of booking older sister said it would just be me her and her mum however today she’s just told me that younger sister is also coming and now I don’t want too go because I just feel like she is gonna embarrass us all. Before me , Older sister and younger sister all went to get our nails done and younger sister kept telling the man he’s not doing them right and then asked the owner if she can connect her phone to the Bluetooth to play her music and then played rap music loud. There has been other times we have been in restaurants and she starts shouting at the staff and even told one to “come outside and hold this beating”

i just don’t think I’m gonna be able to relax with her there from fear she’s going to embarrass me or start a fight with someone. even if someone looks at her innocently she will ask them why they are looking at her. I feel like she will ruin the whole day and the whole point is to relax and celebrate DP mum but I feel that will get overlooked due to her behaviours.

I have spoken to DP he said it’s my decision he knows what she is like but she might be ok because it’s her mum’s birthday, I told him she’s literally battered someone in front of her mum even when her mum was telling her to stop she carried him on so I told him I don’t think that will make a difference and he just said well it’s your decision and left it as that.

would I BU to say something has come up at work and not go?

I wouldn't want to go either but I wouldn't make up an excuse!

I wouldn't associate with someone like that so no

Hi everyone thanks for all the replies, i think i agree with the comments saying its MILs day and id be bowing out on her and other SIL who is my good friend now. I didn’t see it from that point, another good point i saw is ask other SIL about it because normally younger SIL doesn’t get invited out that’s why originally it was meant for me her and MIL.
about payment - SIL booked it and then I transferred her my share then planned to pay myself on the day for any extras. I’m going to ring SIL in a hour and just casually ask her thoughts about it so I will update then.

We haven’t had so much of a spat, she was arguing with someone in Asda before when she was with me and DP, I said to her just leave it there not worth it come on and basically she screamed in my face saying they are violating her and she’s gonna “KO” them. 10 minutes later back in the car she apologised to me and said she was very angry not at me but she was angry and that’s why she shouted and said she won’t do it again. Which she hasn’t she’s always been respectful since she just has no respect for anyone else outside her family members.

them events was all a year ago or more, she hasn’t been invited out for a year now she didn’t come to any birthday meals or parties where we have been out. She has only been invited to one party which was at a family members house. The whole family refuse to go out with her because of how she acts. Older SIL excluded her last month from her own birthday meal so I’m just gonna ask her thoughts on how she thinks she is going to behave.

I wouldn’t say Asda is an outing she doesn’t drive and would have to pay a taxi £15 to get home with her shopping.

So I don’t understand your point your other post said she’s not invited out often but she’s joining you in Asda. I said Asda is not an outing you then agreed. So why did you mention coming to Asda? Do you think we put the same amount of time and planning to go to a 20 minute Asda trip and invite the whole family to come too? 🤣 I never said she doesn’t see us and do everyday things like go shopping I said she doesn’t get invited out on outings IE meals, party’s, days out.

The point is she’s not an outcast which is what “the black sheep” normally implies.