No feedback from school nursery?

[Bullbreedbliss]

So DD (3) started school nursery this week. The first day they said ‘she’s been brilliant, fits right in’ but literally got no hand over for the rest of the week. Is this normal?

I know they have lots of children, 20 kids and three staff, so not looking for a lengthy conversation but just a sentence or two on how she’s been and what they’ve been up to would be nice or am I expecting too much.

I should add DD isn’t very keen to return. When I go to collect her, it’s almost like she’s got tears of relief and she seems rather subdued afterwards. If I ask her what she’s been up to she just doesn’t respond and getting any information out of her is like getting blood out of a stone.

In my experience you don't get feedback unless something specific has happened but sure you could ask how she is getting on every now and again.

What is there to say? I just wanted to hear had a good day and be told if there is any issues that's it

This is normal. If you ask you will get a generic 'yes all fine'. They will usually only discuss specific incidents (normally negative ones)
Unless they approach you assume all is well. Obviously if you have any concerns you can approach them.

I never expect a handover from nursery pre school. In all honestly I get annoyed by them, can often take 15 minutes to collect DS as they handover each child one by one with an adult 🙄. After being at work since I dropped them off I just want to pick him up, then the older one and just get home. If he's hurt himself or had an accident by all means tell me. I never get why every parent wants to know how well they've eaten, celebrate that they've wiped their backside or that they've drawn a penguin. They are starting school in a years time you definitely don't hear anything then. I feel like it's got worse since covid kids are in early years childcare as parents before those years really didn't need a blow by blow account of their child's day.

Totally normal for school nursery.
Wait until school. You get nothing then AT ALL.

In regards to not hearing anything from your child afterwards checkout restraint collapse. Young child keep a front up all day i.e sit where they are told, expected to behave a certain way and listen. When they see a caregiver that they are comfortable with they 'collapse'. All their emotions come out which can look like defiance, quietness or tears etc. my DD now at 5 either comes out with huge sentences that she doesn't take a breath from or just shrugs her shoulders and doesn't say anything. Often before bed she'll tell me about her day good or bad. However she needs a good hour or two to decompress.

School nursery isn’t like daycare where you get a handover. It would be impossible with that many children all being collected at the same time.

It was like that when my 16 year old started nursery too OP.

You should get reports each term, but they will grab you if there's a problem. My dc never went to anywhere with daily handovers

I think you need to ask. I'd mention that she seems subdued and relieved to see you and see what they say.

Normal. When my now 7YO was there we got nothing. With my 3YO they now have a photo app but it’s once mass dump of about 50 photos every few days and he might be in 3 of them. We also get the timetable at the start of term so know sports is Tuesday, French Thursday etc. and the lunch menu so can use that as a starting point for the ‘what did you do today convo’. It may be a nursery class but it’s school not daycare. As for your DD, it’s a busy environment, probably more regimented than she’s used to and it’s only been a week. Give it time and I’m sure she’ll settle and love it. And don’t expect it to get better in terms of them telling you about their day. My 7YO on a good day might tell me what flavour yoghurt they had for pudding but that’s generally as good as it gets!

Completely normal. It’s not a private nursery, and you’re getting more than you will get from school.

They say she’s fine. She says she’s fine. What more is there to know?

Totally normal. Be glad you are not the one being given daily feedback.

This is normal. I think it's a "no news is good news" situation. My eldest I was getting daily hangovers of everything that she had struggled with and it was so depressing. She later got an ASD diagnosis and they were the ones who realised something was wrong. My youngest I heard absolutely nothing beyond "yeah good day" and was relieved!

I think it's fair to get some feedback if it's her first week. I'd have a chat to the teachers and ask if she seems happy as she's upset when you pick her up. Has she started long days or is she just doing short days to begin with?

This isn't normal and just indicative of the culture there/lack of understanding of child development and what a huge deal transitions are.

They should be telling you what she's enjoyed that day, whether she's eaten and napped, toileted etc and any moments of caregiver interactions to note.

OK so I should say this isn't good practice then. It seems lots of parents accept poor care as normal. It's her first week and she's not thriving. It's their job to be on it.

Yes agree with everyone else. Totally normal, and you can take no news as good news. We get a handover from our daycare nursery but our nursery school runs like, well, school so they just let them out once they see the relevant adult.

Was she at any childcare facility before this? If she's going from home, or even from a childminder, it's a big step and very early days. A few wobbles are to be expected, get them out of the way now and she'll have a much easier time settling into school next year. Nursery school is brilliant for them IME.

The whole class will be new presumably, so they won't have time to feedback to everyone. I think Scotland may be back already, and my DD starts nursery school next week. Summer is over, somehow! Feels like it was June last week.

Scotland

@Longma most Scottish schools went back this week as they broke up end of June.

Agree with others, at pre-school nursery attached to school you usually only get information at handover if there's been a problem.

However, if you're in Scotland she will only have been there 3 or 4 days so I'd be expecting some information on how she's settling in at this stage. I certainly got feedback for first week or 2 about how mine were doing.

Just ask how she's doing at pickup next week