Judgemental Sister

[kcchiefette]

Recently met with my sister for a catch up. We know a couple of mutual people so she was telling me that her friend recently got engaged.

I know this friend, I believe she has been with him a couple of years and all has went well. Friend has previously been engaged before.

I said, "oh well thats nice news"

She didn't seem to agree though. She said she thinks it was "far too soon" and that she doesnt support said friend. She didnt even send any well wishes.

Now this is coming from my sister who, was pregnant 3 months after meeting someone (they are still together years later)

She has always been judgemental of others, even me in the past and its becoming annoying having to listen to someone so negative about others.

AIBU to be getting annoyed in general with this behaviour?

My sister is the same, we are NC.

It's annoying when someone is like that but it's not worth getting worked up about it.

I have a DFr who is judgemental and it drives me mad so I now see her much less. She judges everyone - always compares her life to everyone elses, constantly posting on SM and presumably checking up on everyone else and finding her life coming up short. She's dissatisfied with her life (she has a lovely supportive DH and 2DC). Comparison is the thief of joy and so to get over her envy she tries to pull others down. It's an unpleasant character trait and I've asked her before if she's ok and she says she is but her dissing doesn't stop. It's making me pull away from her and I notice other friends have done so too.

Can you say to DS that you've noticed she doesn't seem very happy and ask is everything ok?

So what, though? She’s not obliged to respond to engagements with a blanket ‘How nice!’ You may not like her responses, but the only real thing you can do is see her less.

She’s judgemental because she’s wildly insecure about her own choices. It makes her feel better about herself.

It is, I think, the same thing behind a lot of the snarky criticisms of OPs you find on here… it’s a bit tragic really.

I would have just said “too soon?! How quick were you pregnant?! “ and left it there. She may need a reminder.