Can extreme anger hurt unborn baby

[Weddingclash]

Im in my 3rd trimester and after an argument with my husband I have just completely lost it, shouting my head off. Husband has said I’m damaging the baby by getting so angry.

There is absolutely no excuse for loosing my temper the way I did, but now I’m really worried I’ve hurt the baby. Usually I’m so calm but I just couldn’t deal with my husband’s stubbornness this evening. Can babies pick up on anger in the womb ?

Hypertension would not be good for the baby if you have any blood pressure related issues but I'd try not to worry. Look after yourself. Deep breaths.

If this is uncommon for you, it's unlikely to have caused any major issue. However, if you are constantly stressed/angry then yes raised cortisol can impact. Not ideal for you though, can you and DH talk through a plan for what happens when you're both feeling this way?

I understand the previous responses which have some truth. But no, this particular argument will have absolutely no impact in your baby. And quite frankly your husband is being an arsehole for manipulating you in this way to make you feel guilty.

I had a horrible life event at 30-simething weeks pregnant. A colleague said words to the effect of "you need to stop being upset, its not good for the baby". Strangely, that didn't make me feel better...

DC is now 14, healthy, happy, doing well at school, sociable, successful, etc. Maybe she'd be an Olympic athlete if I'd not been sad at 32wks pg, but shit happens and sadly, am sure worse things will happen to her in her life.

Unfortunately, over your childs life, you will make bigger parenting mistakes than arguing with yr partner in earshot of your unborn child... because you're human, therefore destined not to be perfect every single day.

He's talking bollocks, probably so he could attack and scare you into shutting up and obeying him.

Your husband is talking nonsense.

If he thinks it's harmful for the baby then why was he being so stubborn?

Yelling etc isn't good for other reasons but your baby is fine. Don't let him manipulate you like that.

No it's not.
Does he often try to manipulate you and use abusive tactics to win arguments or is this a 1 off on his part @Weddingclash

Classic mumsnet, man objects to verbal abuse from pregnant wife, worries about the effect mum screaming like a banshee might have on his unborn child - he was trying to scare you and force you to obey him!!!!

OP, I doubt raging and screaming will have any impact on an unborn baby. If it did, I'm sure I wouldn't have survived nine months inside my mother.

Thanks everyone - baby has been moving away fine today so hopefully I haven’t done any damage.

@batt3nb3rg my behaviour was totally wrong but it wasn’t unprovoked. He’s refusing to attend my sisters wedding and no amount of pleading & begging will make him change his mind. So after weeks of it, I lost my temper. I’m not proud of it. But @NeverDropYourMooncup is right that by saying I’m killing my unborn child by getting angry, I did stop and won’t be bringing up the topic again.

To me it sounds like he's using it as a way to shut you up rather than out of genuine concern over the baby, what a charming man 🙄. It's not great for unborn babies if your constantly stressed and angry but hopefully this was a one off, baby will be fine. As I've seen on here a million times, women have babies in war zones so I think one argument with your (arsehole) husband won't make any difference

In the nicest way, you’re being ridiculous. Of course one episode where you’re stressed and angry will not do anything to the baby. People literally have babies in warzones.

I would be more worried about your husband trying to guilt trip you about ‘damaging the baby’ because he doesn’t like being shouted at, rather than trying to resolve the issue that made you have an argument in the first place.

Why won't he attend your sister's wedding?

@Comedycook because my sister has booked the same date as one of his (distant) friends and the friend sent the save the date first so he’s saying it’s a first come first serve situation even though the wedding date is still over a year away.

We haven’t seen this friend since our own wedding 2 years ago and have never met his fiancé but apparently my husband feels that he must attend the friends wedding so as not to cause offence to friend. We are (or so I thought) extremely close my sister and my whole family will be devastated that he isn’t attending.

Yes. I think some emotional problems stem from the time children were in the womb. They hear and feel what's going on around them. I think they're very sensitive at that time.

That being said, you only lost your temper once. It's no big deal. That's life. A baby/child will come across tempers and anger as they grow outside the womb so a certain level of it is normal.

That sounds very embarrassing and rude of him and he should go to your sister's wedding with you.

No, you haven’t damaged the baby. Please don’t worry.

Your husband sounds like a dickhead tbh.