To not want to celebrate my upcoming 40th?

[CobaltQueen]

I am single, no kids, still at home. Nothing to celebrate and don't see why I should be forced to do so. Aibu to feel like this ? Stepdad is putting the pressure on for me to do something special and I can't think of anything worse.

Maybe don't think of it as traditional celebrating i.e party, big look at me kind of thing. Perhaps go and do the one thing you wanted to do in your 30's that you didn't get to do. For my 30th I didn't do a party or whatever as my friends and family live all around the world. Instead DH and I went to Iceland and had an amazing time. It was something I'd always wanted to do and just thought sod it.

Entirely up to you. I haven't celebrated any birthdays since I was about 12 and I'm 45 now.

I'm sure he's trying to make you feel better and coming from good intentions but if you really don't want a big thing you aren't obliged to.

I haven't had any big parties. It's not my thing.

I hate celebrating my birthday and it annoys the life out of me when people try to force me to do so. It's such a selfish thing, "I think you should celebrate therefore your preferences are irrelevant, do as I say not as you want on your own birthday".

Celebrate you in the way that you would like, OP. If others don’t understand, just lie to them and tell them you had a massive girls’ weekend in Ibiza or whatever. It’s none of their business. But do celebrate you in some way, because you deserve it.

You say you have nothing to celebrate, I bet you do or if nothing else your stepdad wants to celebrate you which is nice.

What would you like to do if not a party, I am definitely not a party person?
In my family birthdays are marked with a cake and picky tea, it's just my parents DBro and myself and DD, it's not a big noisy affair but something different that we enjoy and is traditional for us.

Maybe a quiet weekend in a nice hotel where you can sit and read etc in peace.

Maybe financially help with a deposit to rent or mortgage etc if that's your plan.

Yep, I've been called selfish for wanting no celebration at all but asking people to travel, give up a night, buy a present, pay for drinks and food etc. That's not selfish.

To clarify I don't think asking people to celebrate is selfish at all, I am happy to go to anyone else's birthday and have travelled a few hours and paid for a hotel this weekend for one. It pisses me off though when the opposite is not considered acceptable.