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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Are your kids sociable?

7 replies

sunshinesusan853 · 16/08/2024 16:51

My ds12 is lovely and has lots of friends at school but I wouldn't call him sociable as such. He hasn't bothered contacting any of his friends to hang out over the holidays despite us offering lifts, saying he can have friends over etc.
I see kids he knows out in the area but he isn't interested in joining in. He tends to hold a bit of a grudge as in if he's ever had a falling out with a kid he simply won't entertain them again which is fine I guess, he has boundaries but I just think he's a bit young for grudges!!!
We went on holiday recently and I kept encouraging him to try and make friends with other kids in the pool but he's just not like that. Shy perhaps, or just not interested.
At home he's quite happy in his own company playing games, reading and watching films with dh and I but I do worry a bit. He messages friends from school (sadly his school friends aren't local to us but as I said the offer to facilitate seeing them is there) but doesn't see them other than at school.
He plays in a football team so it's not like he's never around kids his own age I just feel a bit sad he's spent most of his summer alone.

OP posts:
bergamotorange · 16/08/2024 16:57

I think this is the important bit: At home he's quite happy in his own company playing games, reading and watching films with dh and I

He is only 12, still quite young and many kids his age are just the same.

SonicTheHodgeheg · 16/08/2024 16:58

My son was like that at 12 but he’s now 17 and in and out the house all the time.

BleedinghellNora · 16/08/2024 16:58

My kids are like this. Love being with other kids when they do, but refuse alll suggestions from me to meet up with their friends. I don’t get it. I worry they will get marginalized in existing friendship groups and eventually be dropped..

Hazey19 · 16/08/2024 17:00

My son is the same. He just prefers being at home. He also plays a lot of sport but it’s been off all summer. His elder brother was exactly the same at this age however give it a year and you ll never see him! We never see our eldest son now and I miss the days he was at home all the time, so make the most of it x

DinnaeFashYersel · 16/08/2024 17:00

DS 16 is quiet, introverted, lacks confide and prefers to stay at home.

DD 12 is a gregariousness social butterfly who can befriend an entire room of strangers within 20 minutes

crazycrofter · 16/08/2024 17:04

My son was like this at 12, except for his best friend, who he'd known through church since he was 6. He didn't do anything with friends from school. Around year 9 things started to change, and since then he's been very sociable.

JockTamsonsBairns · 16/08/2024 17:08

My DS has always been like this, and he's nearly 17. Just very content in his own company.

DD is 15 and the total opposite. She's hosted/attended sleepovers pretty much every night of the holidays, and is constantly making arrangements to meet with friends.

We're away on holiday at the moment. DD has been socialising with folk around the pool, and taking part in the activities.
That would be DS's idea of hell.

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