To want fertility MOT

[theurbanpigeon]

I've just turned 30 and recently got married (DH is 29). We want kids but in 3-4 years - DH in particular adamant about this. I am fine with this and happy with our current lifestyle, but feeling a lot of anxiety relating to having potential issues if we wait further down the line.

I've been saying maybe we should go get fertility tested now; that way we know if there are any issues / we need to try sooner, or if I can relax about waiting til I'm 33/34. Obviously though we'd have to do this privately and it would cost about £700. DH thinks this is a waste of time money.

AIBU to think it's worth it for the peace of mind? For context I've never had any reason to think I might have problems (regular periods etc) but then aware that often things can be undetected til you start trying. Feeling very stressed about this!

TIA x

Second what @Shattereddreamsparkway said, especially about the husband's health. There is so much research now coming out about how important it is for men to be fit and healthy.Quality of sperm has an impact on miscarriages. And I was reading that they found that the older a man is, for example, the more likely a child will have autism (they didn't find the same correlation with age in mothers).

My DH quit drinking completely before TTC and made sure he had a really good diet. It's important for the husband to be on board.

I came off contraception in sept 2020 (I was 35) but it was March 2022 before I became pregnant. Sadly this ended in miscarriage and I’m finally now pregnant again (28 weeks) 2 years later. I did not anticipate it taking this long, and all my tests from gp were normal (partner has 2 kids already)
my friend who was 38 in 2020 came off contraception and was pregnant 6 weeks later. Everyone is different, I wish I’d not left it so late now in hindsight but I wasn’t ready to change my life at the time. Hopefully you can both decide on a time that’s right and it works out for you.

My tests are all fine and dh is doing his sperm test, I have a feeling it would probably be normal

But the facts are that we used exclusively withdrawal method for 8 years starting from when I was 22 years old and have been ttc for 1 year. No positive pregnancy tests. So undergoing investigation now.

You just don't know u till you try. And 30% of infertility is unexplained.

Honestly wouldn't bother with it. Amh is a terrible measure of pretty much anything other than how you'll respond to IVF meds. It actually doesn't tell you about the quantity of eggs left - it's how much hormone they are releasing which can vary significantly from person to person. It also doesn't tell you anything about egg quality or how quickly that number is deteriorating.

Op - whilst I agree with you about wanting an idea of where you stand now tbh it won't give you any idea if where you stand in 3-4 years. Very few tests can actually give you a comprehensive view of your fertility now esp for women let alone what it will look like in a month let alone 4 years. If you're that concerned you need to start earlier and not put things off.

Just FYI, I’m 34 and got married last year. We’ve been trying for a year now - we’ve had tests done and everything has come back fine so just because things are okay doesn’t mean you’ll conceive easily. All we’ve had in one year is a miscarriage 2 months ago.