Is a phone call too much to ask????

[mondaycando1]

So my first birthday away from the kids post divorce. Thought the ex husband might have got them to call but apparently a WhatsApp one line "happy birthday Mum" should have been enough. Yes they are boys (13 & 14) but even so. Maybe I was expecting too much??

I think at 13/14 I was probably pretty rubbish at making much effort for my poor parents. Of course they should have done better but I mean this kindly, they are teenagers and if they’re also going through their parents getting divorced, I’d probably let it go. I guarantee this is not a reflection on how much your boys love you and yes maybe your ex should have done more but it’s possibly a learning curve for everyone. Happy birthday xx

Honestly, you probably are from 13/14 yr olds who remember too, that this is their first time away from you on your birthday. They won’t know the etiquette.

So it’s your job as a parent to teach them what to do in that situation.

So decide, if either of you are away on another’s birthday:

• you call in the morning to wish happy birthday.
• make sure they have their cards/presents in advance so they can open on the day.
• That as a parent you will always send out a reminder (for whoever’s birthday, Inc your own) the day before to make sure they remember to call.

This isn’t something you should take to heart. This isn’t a reflection of their feelings for you. This is two young lads that haven’t been taught any better. So teach them better

Happy Birthday OP

At 13 and 14 they can ring if they want.

You got a text. For them that's probably enough and they'd be happy with that back over a call.

So long as you get a card and present when you see them.

Clearly the consensus it was too much to expect. I know damn well what's landing by XHs next birthday - a CSA claim, fk this 50/50 custody means no maintenance when he earns twice what I do.

That’s so hurtful for you, I’m sorry.

Again
13 and 14
Old enough to make their own decisions

This isn't about the text. It's about you resenting him.

At 13 and 14 I'm pretty sure they also get a say in where they live

50/50 doesn't mean no maintenance if you are still the main provider.