AIBU re kids prank

[UncertainDIL]

Hi there. I live in a corner house beside a large green and approx twice a week kids ring my door bell several times and run off. My electric gate buzzer broke due to the kids holding down the button. I’ve three young kids (one a newborn) and it upsets my middle child greatly. Often you can see them walking past my house looking in my windows to see if anyone is home and hiding in the bushes beside my house. It interrupts feeding my newborn and everything else a SAHM does for three small kids! This evening, three boys (Approx 10-12) came up my driveway and rang the bell approx 5 times. They ran away laughing, I understand it’s just a funny prank to them. I recognised one of the boys who has done this before and walked around to his family home with my kids. I spoke to the mom, introduced myself and respectfully requested that her child doesn’t do what he did again please. I was calm and friendly. Immediately the mother got very agressive. She said how dare I come to her home like this. She said she was busy WFH and had two of her sons friends over for a play date. She said it was a circus that I’d brought my kids. I said I need to care for my children and can’t not bring them with me. I left then as she was clearly offended I had called and being honest I was totally taken aback by her aggression. Her son admitted to what he did but denied having done it before. I’m now really beginning to hate my house as feel so exposed. My DH works days at a time and I’m on my own a lot. I know they are only kids but it’s not nice to see them coming up the driveway. It’s also not nice being spoken to so derogatory. Admittedly post pregnancy my confidence isn’t that high and not I’m beginning to doubt whether i should of asked the boy to stop. It seems like a minor issue I know but I don’t like it happening. Apart from that I’m very happy at home with my children and getting out and about with them and my neighbours. Thanks for reading. Sorry for the long post.

Get a ring doorbell

Yes get a ring doorbell.. keep all evidence. That'll put the little brats in their place. I would honestly hate that so you have my sympathies. And it was perfectly reasonable of you to go to the child's house.. better than confronting him as he could have claimed you threatened him etc

I’d have asked why me turning up at her door and disturbing her was annoying but she thought that her son and his friends doing the same to me was acceptable.

I have cctv cameras that capture inside my garden walls and it captures them doing it this evening. Sorry i should have said that. I just am wracking my brain, doubting myself here, wondering if I’m in the wrong. I suppose I don’t want her talking about me with other parents and putting me in a bad light. I honestly don’t know how you could relay the storey in her favour though.

Exactly this!! The cheek!

We were having teenagers aggressively booting our front door and running off, they have actually put a crack in the door. Apparently it was a TikTok challenge sigh.
We never confronted them as they wanted a reaction, what we did do was buy a Dekco camera from Amazon.
When we caught them on camera, we rang the anti social behaviour unit and a police officer came to see us. The p.o. downloaded the footage and showed it to the headmaster at the local comp. They were identified, and given a bollocking by the head AND the p.o. The p.o. then went to the youths homes and showed the parents the footage
Upshot was they were grounded had their phones and computers taken off them. The parents sent a message to us saying their sons wanted to apologise to us (the p.o. had told them we could prosecute for harassment and criminal damage!) I said I did not want them anywhere near my property, and just to parent their children.

This was a couple of months ago, and it has been bliss!
Granted the ones giving you grief are younger, but once they see a camera is installed it does give them pause.
The camera cost about £40, really easy to install and the p.o. was so impressed with the quality of the footage, he ordered one for himself!

Ah just seen you have cctv, then speak to the anti social unit on 101, it may seem a like taking a sledge hammer to crack a nut, but this will only escalate as they get older. Your home should be your haven.

Sorry totally drip feeding now. While she was ranting at me in my head I was thinking does her employer know she’s WFH and minding other kids on play dates. I didn’t say it as I didn’t want to add fuel to her fire. I know it’s a bit of a 1st world problem. I just don’t want to be know as a crank and I’ve my kids to think about. My kids aren’t perfect but when they do wrong I address it and they learn from it. Maybe I do just need to have more confidence in myself and not automatically think I was in the wrong just cause she reacted poorly.

Get a water gun squirt the little shits every time they do it out of an open window… they will soon stop…

Strategically spaced automatic sprinklers!
Just make sure you remember to turn them off before you go out 🤣

get a water pistol.
or a taser.

I wouldn't bother with the parents, they obviously don't give a shit what their kids are doing! If it happens again I would open your door and yell at them that you've got them on camera and you're calling the police. If it continues after that, report to police. Yes it's a silly prank but very annoying and they've been told to stop.

That's what PCSO's were invented for. Speak to your local one.

Well I'm currently dealing with a similar problem - being targeted by youths and young children with anti social behaviour. I, and the local area, underwent similar problems a couple of years ago.
We dealt with it then, and I am currently trying to deal with it now, by involving the police and the local authority anti social behaviour unit. I have to say it takes great persistence to get the police to take it seriously though. Being able to provide security camera footage is invaluable.

I've found the behaviour traumatising . I'm getting targeted because I live alone and they know that and they know I have few visitors. I can't imagine OP how I would cope if I was in your position with a new born and other children. I so admire you for confronting the mother of one of the children. Her reaction reminds me of my next door neighbour whose attitude is this is somehow my fault - I certainly didn't ask to be targeted.
I really think you should be involving the police OP. I really hope you get it sorted .

She’s telling you that you need to care for your children while she’s allowing her son to run feral and intimidate the community and yes to those with an nervous disposition or anxiety knocks on doors can be intimidating. I don’t always believe in laying blame with the parents. However in this case I certainly do.

As the mother has shown herself unable unwilling to parent then if this behaviour continues I would involve the police.

Sometimes a quiet word from the law has a marvelous effect and if they're doing this at this early age, what will they be up to when they get older

"She said how dare I come to her home like this. She said she was busy WFH..."

Borrow a friend or family member. Every single time her son comes round and disturbs you, get them to go round her house during working hours, ring the doorbell and then run away laughing. See how she likes it.

How are they getting in OP? Could you lock the gates and cover the tops in anti-climb paint to stop them climbing over?

Not that I'm saying you should have to, just it might provide a deterrent and they'll move on.

I volunteer myself as tribute. Send me her address, I will spend the entire rest of the summer knocking on her door multiple times a day in various increasingly stupid disguises.

OP

-Get a motion activated sprinkler
-Get your husband to keep watch when he’s back and if they ring, he goes out running

Put the footage on your local Facebook page asking if anyone else is being bothered?
Add a comment that you asked the mum but she’s too busy minding other kids and WFH at the same time to parent?
And maybe one about does any have the police pcso details?

it might shame her into stopping

This is definitely the best way to deal with this. The police are generally very good with this antisocial/nuisance behaviour. Some years ago, l reported a teenage driver to the police. He had been driving at about 50 miles an hour into the cul de sac where I lived, before screeching to a halt. He was few seconds away from running my dog and me over. I made a mental note of the make of the car and its number plate. The police told me that they now had a record of the car and could keep it on file in case it was involved in further trouble, that they could trace the owner(s) of the car because of the details l had given them and that they would be going round to the parents' house at the weekend and telling his parents what he had done in front of him. I was very pleased because no one is very keen on the police turning up on their doorstep and it was the short, sharp shock he needed. Obviously, these boys are younger and think they are being hilarious, but they are trespassing on your property and invading your right to a quiet life in your own home. It is a form of bullying. They are also in need of a short, sharp shock and when their parents find out that the police take your complaints seriously, these boys will not seem to be so big and clever after all. It could well be that you are not the only person who is being subjected to the same childish, highly irritating nuisance prank.

Oh I wish that was true! We are renovating and had newly put in windows smashed with rocks, the kids also broke through the fencing and tried kicking in the front door- all captured on our cameras that they didn't see! We were told a police officer 'might' come to see you- 2yrs on- nothing! Contacted the school they attend (via their uniforms!)- to be told it was outside school hours and nothing to do with them!

OP- install a silent trigger alarm if someone comes through your gate such as a flashing light you can see in your home. You can then check your cameras and either set off sprinklers, or a screeching type alarm outside for a few seconds.

Motion sensor sprinkler (you can get them to deter cats). Bonus points if you run sprinkler from a water butt with dye in it.

Parents seemed to encourage the little shits. Police couldn’t care less.

We found dye in a sprinkler got a result as the feckless parents didn’t want clothes ruined.

Personally I think you are right to address it with the parent rather than with the children. I know some would go out and give them a bollocking but that wouldn’t be for me. I’d persist with the parents, and get your DH on board. It’s wrong that you are intimidated and disturbed in your own home.

Thanks a million for all your comments. I feel vindicated by them. I honestly didn’t know where I went wrong and the dreadful reaction I got automatically got me thinking I did wrong here. The kid was back out on the green playing straight after, no repercussions for his behaviour. Suppose she did have to go back to work! Hopefully it ends now, thanks again.