Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Funding children activities

4 replies

gertrudeorberyl · 15/08/2024 21:08

My in-laws are very wealthy. My DH and I are not. They blame our poor life decisions in working for public sector. We are not struggling but cannot splash the cash.
DH and I have decided with some sadness that we need to cut back expenses. This includes some of the kids expensive activities.
Our in-laws always spend a huge amount on the kids for birthdays and christmases. Very generous but slightly over the top. We are talking probably about £800-£1000 per kid. They also pay into trust funds for each child. Again, we are very grateful and we realise they are so lucky.
The last few years the teenagers have received money as gifts. They also get money from other relatives and friends. We joke that the kids have more money than us...we joke but actually they do. Mum and dad have practically nothing left after paying the bills and essentials.
We said to the kids that if they want to continue with the competitive dancing they would maybe have to dip into some of the money that their grandparents give them as we are struggling to cover everything. The classes, competitions, costumes, private lessons etc has grown and grown. We haven't said they would have to pay for it all but maybe the classes and we would cover the rest. The costumes, competitions and travel are much more than the classes.
MIL just off the phone as DD had mentioned that she was taking money out to pay for a class.
Apparently, is asking them to fund this is basically child abuse and the children shouldn't suffer just because we are poor. We are not poor but this is her take on it.
Are we unreasonable to do this or should I start a second job or never get my hair cut to be able to pay for it all.
I've cut out trips to get nails done, cut back on branded foods, rarely buy myself any clothes, cut back on tv subscriptions. We have tried but when the dds have ££££ to spend on makeup and skincare...I think asking them to fund some of their activities is ok.
Would love to know how other families are managing these things.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 15/08/2024 21:33

Well it's unfortunate that your DC have a VERY expensive hobby.

I don't think it's unreasonable to limit how much you spend on their hobbies.

Hankunamatata · 15/08/2024 21:37

In laws are insane If you cant afford costumes, competitions and travel then they either get cut back to within budget or dc use some of their savings as you suggested

gertrudeorberyl · 15/08/2024 21:41

It didn't start out that expensive but they were asked if they wanted to do some competitions and it has snowballed. They love it but it consumes us, our money, our time as a family.
It really is at the point that they would have to stop altogether without them paying some of it themselves. I love my kids but I definitely need to cover my roots more than they need another set of private individual lessons!

OP posts:
noctilucentcloud · 15/08/2024 21:48

I think it's reasonable. I liked art as a kid but it was my birthday and christmas money / presents that would buy the brushes, paint and paper I wanted.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread