To expect exH to warn me if he’s bringing kids over

[Imaysnapandfart]

ExH took kids on holiday for a week so I had made plans for my evenings without the kids. I had arranged a date for this evening but without warning, the kids turned up at mine two days early.
ExH was like “surprise!”

And while of course I’m over the moon to see my kids as I had missed them, I was a bit miffed at not having had any notice, and having to cancel plans at such short notice.
Am I being unreasonable to expect some sort of pre warning? I mean, what if I had had the date over and we were in the middle of something?

That’s bang out of order. On purpose though to stop you having a life.

In future during his time turn it so your location is off.

Next time leave your phone ata friends or anywhere so that you don’t appear to be home.

Genius, he's awful, too much like hard work, dump them with their mum, man child.

I woud have been absolutely livid. I think I wuld have said something like - wow, lovely to see you are you just popping in on your way back to dad;s? And if he then tried to act like you didn't have time you could have said, "I always love seeing the kids but I've already made plans to go out because I thought they were with you - I can't cancel on the people I'm meeting. Darlings, if you want to come back early, tomorrow that would be fine but I can't let people down. You should have let me know you were coming."

I wish I had said something like that but it was one of those rabbit in the headlight moments when I couldn’t think of anything as I was so taken aback 🤦🏻‍♀️
Plus my daughter would have been heartbroken as she had really missed me.

He is controlling and trying to ruin your love life while pretending to be a doting dad

That's horrible. Two parents who don't want to care for you!

Totally out of order. I share custody of my DD who is 13 with her dad. There's no way he would do this. He wouldn't even drop her off half an hour earlier than agreed without checking it's okay with me first.

I would have a conversation with him and say whilst its lovrly to have them home, you would appreciate him checking before bringing them back early. First you may have plans, and if he says your their mum point out he is their dad and eould he be ok with you turning up on a wednesday saying their here for the weekend surprise. No he probably wouldnt given thst he had decided he had enough and wanted them to go home early.

It may be worth pointing out you may have nothing in to feed them if you dont know to go shopping before they get home.

He does it on purpose to remind you that he's in control OP.

Not sure what you can do about it, other than be out.

Or have your dates in the first night or 2 he's got them