To think the rules are different for confident people and influencers

[elliejjtiny]

It's driving me up the wall. I know they get hate mail etc as well but even so

If they take their dc out of School during term time they get comments saying well done for concentrating on their dc mental health. I took one of my dc out of School for one day and got grief from the school and felt so guilty.

14 year old's getting pregnant and being told how amazing and mature they are. If I'd done that my mum and dad would have gone ballistic

Announcing that their toddler is transgender And being told how supportive they are.

And the big one is going against medical advice and being told how brilliant they are at standing up to the Drs and the whole "your baby your rules" thing. I took my newborn home with the agreement of the midwife but not the paediatrician but still got a lecture.

I know there is a lot going on behind the scenes that we don't see and they hide a lot of the negative comments but aibu to find it irritating? I know the answer is to ignore them but I've been ill all week so I've been browsing social media a lot more than I usually do.

I'd say that it mirrors real life and work life, especially in offices. Regardless of what someone does, you will get their defenders and haters, based on nothing except being liked or not.

99 percent of this type of post is because being an influencer isn't enough any more. The internet is saturated. The people who get attention, which translates to clicks, likes, reactions and interactions, are the people who post the most controversial posts.

The amount of traffic dictates what they are likely to receive in ad revenue, sponsorship etc. a lot of these posts are deliberately inflamatory with the idea of driving up traffic. You're feeding into it by even looking. I wouldn't let some fake visage somebody has created online interfere with my very real life.

I've not seen any of the above but then I didn't know who Molly Mae was yesterday. I only watch ITV for sport and have never watched reality tv. (Apart from bits of the very first series of Big Brother)

I have Twitter and Insta but my feed is only filled with things that interest me, if it wasn't, I wouldn't use it.

Yabvvvu to actually believe any of the bs that 'influencers' spout (or even look at it)

Comments on social media from random strangers don't mean anything. I'm sure in the situations you describe they'd still get letters from the school, a lecture from a doctor etc. They might not care. That's the only difference.

Many influences are talentless attention seekers.

Many of their followers are morons.

Best to ignore the lot of them.

The answers are all within your message actually.
You speak of others confidence and how you feel guilt in certain scenarios.

If you had the confidence in your own actions, you wouldn't seek validation for your actions, you wouldn't be here seeking validation for the way you feel etc, you'd just be ok with it.

It's really up to you how you move through life, how much you take on board of criticism from others etc, but you need to train yourself to be a certain way if it doesn't come naturally.

As for how others project themselves, that is not always a true reflection of who they really are or how they really feel about things. It is just a projection that's all.

But you're saying this as though the same people would respond differently to an influencer than to a normal person. You got told off by the school for taking your child out? So would an influencer. Schools aren't going to treat a parent differently just because they're some online grifter, whether they're well known or not.

And if they're the kind of person who would say 'Yay - how supportive of you to transition your toddler', then a) they'd probably say that to anyone who did and b) their opinion isn't worth listening to anyway.

Do not follow influencers, could not identify any of them, don’t care what they do or who they do it with.

None of them have done anything noteworthy, why would you care about how others perceive these people?

You're right that the rules can be different for confident people, e.g. I told my midwife outright that I'd co-slept with my first, would be doing so again with my second, and showed her the safe space I'd created in my bed. She shrugged and said that she wouldn't tell me not to (because I wouldn't have listened anyway, and she knew that) but that she still had to tell me what current recommendations said. My employer has a thing about hair colours and I still wear what I want, having interviewed with the same colour that is on their "banned" list and my attitude was, if it's good enough for my interview it's good enough for my employment. Confidence gets you to bend a fair few rules and allows you to ignore the voices telling you you're wrong.

However, those voices do still exist. Schools will still chase attendance. People in my work still moan about my hair colour. My midwife still told me what she needed to. How you approach all that is up to you, though.

If they take their dc out of School during term time they get comments saying well done for concentrating on their dc mental health. I took one of my dc out of School for one day and got grief from the school and felt so guilty.

Yeah, but the school treats them the same, they don't get supportive messages from them. And that's what's important. Who gives a shit what some ill-educated, antivax conspiracy theorist comments on their posts?

You are comparing real life experiences you have had with edited SM experiences and the fake, mindless commentary that goes along with it. You will not be able to make sense of that.

What makes you think the schools don't give them grief?

What makes you think hospital staff don't lecture them?

You seem to be confusing staff with their online followers.

YABU to give any headspace at all to the doings of these totally unimportant people.