To think this is bullying? But I won’t be able to prove it?

[reAllynowa]

Having a nightmare with someone I work with. We are both in professional roles, she is around 10 years old but only a tiny bit more senior. Both of us have the same manager.

She is constantly undermining me. Jumping in in email correspondence, taking over, talking down to me on the phone. It’s really hard to explain but I feel genuinely upset and stressed when working with her. Has anyone experienced this? I am worried if I raise it formally I will be seen as being dramatic but I’ve never felt like this before and it is genuinely affecting me.

Start keeping a log of indcidences time date what happened.
if you are feeling bullied then you probably are.
Get your facts straight and then book a meeting with the mutual boss with the facts. Nothing ott just state a few examples and say its beginning to undermine your confidence. Could the boss clarify if its appropriate and correct this is happening.
Sounds like ow is gas lighting you into accepting she's your senior.
Don't accept bullying. Stand up for yourself.

Yes I have - a very similar situation. It did not end well for me particularly, in fact I posted about it on here asking a similar question to you and was told by posters I was being bullied. She escalated her campaign culminating in making public accusations about me (untrue) in a meeting, and spreading rumours of my incompetence.

Luckily for me there were a few things I’d done / did:

I’ve always been good at my job, meeting deadlines, reputation etc. This made her campaign less believable;

I confided in my line manager in an ‘off the record’ context explaining I was worried she was beginning a campaign of bullying. At this point there was little evidence but after it escalated, I was glad I’d spoken to him;

I never ever ever rose to what she did. I would have loved to confront her but it was more important to me that she was seen as the aggressor. I will at some point follow this up and let her know what I think of her, but I’m not sure how or when yet;

I kept going in. No days off sick, nothing impacted my performance (very difficult);

I strengthened other relationships in work and froze her out (blocked on social media etc). I also deleted all WhatsApp correspondence in case she decided to try and twist my words from past conversations;

Eventually I confided in my SLT. My boss is very much on my side and they protected me. She has history of this with other people in work. I’m not sure what she has on everyone but I suspect there’s something HR-related that makes her untouchable.

Ultimately I will leave because of this, but I’ll jump when it’s the right time for my career. I’ve just tried to lesson her impact on me and hope her behaviour is apparent to others and karma comes for her eventually

Also check for workplace behaviour policies or similar. If there isn't one, propose one https://www.acas.org.uk/equality-policy-template

https://www.acas.org.uk/bullying-at-work

Thanks. I’m feeling really low about it all and it’s massively knocked my confidence. I feel like she’s talking about me to people all the time even when she probably isn’t. I feel sick when I see her in my inbox or calling me

She's 10 years old? Do you work in a primary school?

Ideally, I would suggest you stand up for yourself, be assertive, and push back. Polite but firm. If you don’t feel you can, then talk to your boss.

It sounds insidious. Awful when you can’t prove any of it. Would it help to keep notes on a daily basis, for your own mental health? The notes might come in handy at a later date too,