To be hurt by this comment

ILookingLikeABeautifulDay · 15/08/2024 12:14

What an unkind comment! Apart from any other experience you have caring for children, bringing your daughter up alone and all the play centres etc will have equipped you with the skills you need to interact with children naturally I’m sure! Be confident, be yourself, be warm and smiley with the children. You’ve got this!

Twinkletows · 15/08/2024 12:14

It's hurtful but I'd use it as a challenge and a BIG f* you!!!
Go to the interview and prove her wrong and then think about having as little as possible to do with her. Noone needs that negativity in their life!!!

Beryls · 15/08/2024 12:14

Prove her wrong, that's all you can do. I used to work in schools and the interviews are nerve-wracking but I often found that the observed part was the easiest part surprisingly. Just demonstrate that you can build nice relationships with the kids and you'll be great!

Bluevelvetsofa · 15/08/2024 12:14

Well then, you show her how wrong she is, by going to the interview and smashing it! You have a daughter, so it’s not as though you know nothing about childcare.

Theweepywillow · 15/08/2024 12:17

Have you previous for not going when you should, I wonder if she was trying to goad you to go to stop you dropping out. Was you dropping out a realistic risk?

WinterAconite · 15/08/2024 12:17

Well that's not very encouraging is it? I'd never say that to my adult dd. Is there some reason she doesn't want you to do well?
Anyway, you've done very well to raise your dd alone. Not easy. You did it though. People can lose confidence a bit after having kids but I bet you are a lot more capable than you think.
All the best and if you don't get it, well done for trying. There will be other opportunities and you'll get there. Good luck! 💐

Shawdee · 15/08/2024 12:18

What a lovely mother you have

Myfavouriteflowers · 15/08/2024 12:19

That's down right nasty OP. Is this typical of your Mum's attitude towards you?

Well done you for applying for the job. As pp said the skills and experience you have gained from raising your DD will be more than enough to see you sail through this interview because it's an area you have great practical knowledge of.

Best of wishes for your interview.

Original poster

Lucee9 · 15/08/2024 12:39

I’ve not missed any interviews in the past. Just been unsuccessful for some other roles in a different sector. I’ve since done a level 2 course in support work in education. My mum isn’t supportive at times, can be hot and cold, judgemental. Doesn’t think before she speaks

OP posts:

VanilleFraise · 15/08/2024 12:40

What an awful comment. Does she have form for this type of thing?

OverthinkingRogue · 15/08/2024 12:44

Don't listen to her! Don't over think it, you know in yourself that you can do it!

Some people just have a negative mindset.

ExhaustedHousewife · 15/08/2024 12:50

Did you say anything to her about what she said?

FrogNToad · 15/08/2024 12:57

Your Mum sounds like a right cow. I wouldn't say that out loud to someone I didn't like, never mind my own daughter!

Well done for getting your qualification and best of luck for your interview. Being. SAHM is a great way of learning to interact with all sorts of small children, I'm sure it will show that you have that experience.

Hopeful16 · 15/08/2024 13:01

If you're nervous to interact with the child then take a bag 'about you' with you. Put in a child's story book that you like, an animal (stuffed obvs) that's your favourite, some play food of the things you like to eat, etc. All of these things will encourage conversation and introduce you to the child.
Forget your Mum's comments - she sounds bitter and jealous. Concentrate on making a fabulous impression.

Madamecholetsbonnet · 15/08/2024 13:04

Hello Sister!!

When I told my mother I was going to do teacher training she sneered at me and said “You!? You will never be able to do that.”

I had a fucking lifetime of abuse. Went NC twelve years ago. Twelve blissful drama free years…

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 15/08/2024 13:23

Myfavouriteflowers · 15/08/2024 12:19

That's down right nasty OP. Is this typical of your Mum's attitude towards you?

Well done you for applying for the job. As pp said the skills and experience you have gained from raising your DD will be more than enough to see you sail through this interview because it's an area you have great practical knowledge of.

Best of wishes for your interview.

Edited

This!
You are not nothing and no one should ever say you are. Please don't take this to heart, pity the misguided person who said it and file this away as an example of how not to talk to DC, that's all its good for. The fact that you understand how damaging comments like that can be, already shows that you are more knowledgeable and have a better understanding of what children need than your own parent.

Well done on getting an interview in the first place. It sounds like you have the skills. Prove her wrong! Even if you don't get this job you will get the next one.

When you do get your next job, whichever one it is, you will grow in confidence.
I think you need to protect yourself from damaging unhelpful comments like this, possibly by being less confiding in the person who makes them. Also try where you can to develop your interests and widen your circle, as that will also help your confidence. There is a lot of truth to the saying "Fake it Until You Make it"

fatphalange · 15/08/2024 13:31

I can't imagine taking to one of my kids like that. That's beyond a hurtful comment. I would feel wounded by that, yes. Horrible woman.

Sinderalla · 15/08/2024 14:00

Lucee9 · 15/08/2024 12:11

I have an interview coming up. It’s in childcare so quite a lot to the interview including being observed interacting with the child. I’ve been out of work for a few years raising my daughter alone. I was speaking to my mum saying that I’m nervous and worried about the observation bit as it’s not anything I’ve ever done. Instead of offering support or advice she just said ‘I bet you don’t go’ ‘you’re just going to be nothing’. I just feel really hurt and like I’ve got no one to talk to for any support.

That's uncalled for.

BarnacleNora · 15/08/2024 14:46

What a horrible horrible comment. My heart really hurts for you hearing that from your mum. I bet you are far kinder and full of love for your own child.

I've worked in various childcare/education sectors for what seems like centuries now (and yet I am still so youthful ). The observation can be nerve wracking but if they're a good employer they'll want you to succeed. Best advice I can give is immediately get down to child's level, make voice gentle but encouraging and immediately start playing with whatever there is. No pressure for child to join in (eg no 'come and look at this Henry do you want to play with these with me?') but just start playing and narrating what you're doing to pique child's interest. Once you've got their attention THEN you can ask if they'd like to join in or if they have a favourite toy they want to show you/book they like reading or whatever. Takes the pressure off the kids who might be shy and immediately clam up, lets them join in at their own pace and the more extrovert ones can't wait to get involved!

Good luck you'll be fab and are worth way more than any nasty comment

Original poster

Lucee9 · 15/08/2024 16:37

Thanks everyone. I did say something to her and then she basically said well you won’t be anything if you don’t attend the interview. I didn’t even said I wasn’t going, just that I was nervous.

OP posts:

BinkyBeaufort · 15/08/2024 16:48

With a mother who makes comments like that I'm sure you've learned well how NOT to be good at childcare. Good luck, and fuck her!

Temporarynamechange102 · 15/08/2024 17:22

Your mum sounds like a cow. Maybe she's projecting. Who knows. Either way...you can do this, be friendly, warm, get on the kids level and maybe brush up on Safeguarding and have a good response for why you want this job and any tricky questions you could get.