My ex was abusive and I'm glad we are no longer apart, but there are children involved and although they live with me, they visit their father on a 80:20 ratio only during daytime. In between he might call them once a week or 24hrs before their visit to confirm timings.
One of his abuse tactics was to be very controlling and it feels he seeks to continue this even though we are no longer together. When we are on holiday he calls every other day and asks to FaceTime to see inside our apartment, quizzes them about their plans and feels like he's here with us when he's not.
The children wouldn't have this contact the same way if it were to them and I'm very careful to make it clear the relationship with him might be very different than mine as the ex, and I am sure to give them as much access as they wish with my full blessing. But this is all about HIM and not them, and they sometimes feel upset after he's called which I don't want on our holiday.
Does anyone else have this and how do you deal with it? Luckily for me DC found it too intrusive to FaceTime and spoke on the phone when he called but sent photos instead. But their Dad is pretty persuasive and doesn't usually give up that easily so I don't know whether IABU to say you can call once but please leave us to our quiet enjoyment and if they want to call you then they have their phones and they absolutely can, if they choose to.