Daughter's school dilemma

[Lilyloola]

I wasn't sure where to post this, hope it's okay here.

I'm in a bit of a pickle and would appreciate some opinions/advice please!

Three weeks ago I left a domestic abuse situation. I left very suddenly and didn't have anything planned.

I've come to stay with a family member, hours away from where we were previously living.

However, my daughter is due to start school in September.
My family have been extremely supportive and they are helping me find a home, which my father is helping me with financially until I get settled ect.

It's only a few weeks until school starts. We won't know where we'll be living before then, I sincerely doubt.

She has a place at a school about twenty minutes away because, a while ago when I was considering leaving, someone I know offers to rent me a house in this village. So I applied for a place and had that plan all ready.
However, that plan fell through a while ago as she is now selling the house so i can't rent it.

Do I:

Send my daughter to this school twenty minutes away where she has a place, knowing I'll probably have to move her after a couple of months? Or also try and find another house to rent near the school. It's not likely I don't think.

Try and find a school near where I'm staying now. She'll have to leave there too but it will be nearer..I don't even know if you can get a school place in a couple of weeks

Any other ideas?

I know she doesn't legally have to start until she's 5 but she's so ready and excited.
I'm upset she'll probably have to start and then leave soon after. I need to start getting uniform and I'm so stressed out. I don't know what's best to do.

I also only got the school place as I explained I was planning on moving there. So I don't even know if she can go if we won't be living anywhere near catchment area?

If you really have no idea where you will be, I would try local schools. If there are any with a space they will most likely take her. If they don't have space, they won't. Can you ask locally what the situation is? Lots of primary schools aren't full because of declining birth rates. Any local parent of young kids could probably tell you, or ask on a local Facebook page?

Uniform wise you can get in in a supermarket, branded things are optional, schools often have second hand items available free as well, so you could get uniform very quickly if necessary. Shoes can be bought ahead of time.

How long do you think you will be staying with the relative for? Is the plan to try to live fairly close to them?

I think I would get in touch with the LA and ask about places at schools close to where you are living for now and then take it from there.

If she has the place she can still go. You only need to live there when applying. But 20 minutes sounds a lot twice a day. You can keep that place until you find something better -no need to turn it down before you start looking

Hi, well done for getting out. You’ve done the best thing you could for your daughter so don’t worry too much about the school issue.

I think the first thing you need to do is see if the council is bothered that your house in catchment go through. They might say they will have to take someone from the waiting list, it depends on how many applicants they had.

How long do you think it will take to find somewhere to live? I would consider delaying her start. I know you said she’s excited but I wouldn’t want her to have to go through the starting school transition twice.

I was planning on staying here until I've found somewhere to live. She is happy for us to stay. I'm looking at living near by, but could still be twenty to thirty minutes from this town. The surrounding villages ect. It just depends what I can find.
So I should try and find somewhere in this town if I can and then move her when we move into our own home?

Take the place you have , assuming it is easy to get her there, apply for a nearer one once you have moved. Are you likely to be able to reach the first school in the meantime as popular schools may be full anyway.

She’s 4 - I would just keep her home for now rather than all the switching around

Yes...it depends how long you will stay. If you will move before October half term I would not start her in school in September. Surely you must have some control over where you end up? Do you have your own money, if so you can go anywhere? Or otherwise have you applied for social housing? Effectively you're homeless and a dv victim so should be a priority?

If you don't mind disclosing your circumstances, some schools offer priority places to children who've had to move due to domestic abuse. If I were you I'd contact the women's aid helpline for advice.

Thank you.
This is what I've been worried about. I don't want to unsettle her, especially as she's already had quite a lot of changes and then another move (hopefully) soon.

I don't want her to fall behind or miss out either. It's so hard to know what's best

Okay, thank you.

Twenty minutes is fine. Keep her in there until you get settled - she needs the stability of it and you might find somewhere close. As you said, she's ready; she needs to play and learn and have the start of a normal childhood away from the trauma.

I am looking locally but it's all little villages really round here.
I'm currently staying in a small town but houses here are expensive so we're looking rurally.
I'm really hoping to move in the next couple of months.
Would they let her start in October then?

Would the school let her there though if she doesn't live in catchment? I've not told them yet that I'm no longer moving to that village. But then again if I found something within catchment I wouldn't have to move her at all. But I don't know the chances of that

Definitely this. Please let her start at the school where she has a place. Children make loads of progress in the Reception class and she will miss out if you keep her at home. She will also probably wonder why other children are going to school and she isn't.

The council have put me on band C...I guess because we have somewhere to stay

You can delay her start until the term after she is 5 but be certain there is another nearer space before you delay. Otherwise you may find her without a space for longer,

Yes I definitley want to start her. I just didn't know whether they'd let me and if I should find somewhere nearer.
But maybe I should keep that place then and try and find somewhere near if I can
I'd hate to move her

Try and find out whether your nearest schools have spaces - some possible ways below:
The local authority admissions people may be able to tell you, or an email to the schools' email addresses may get a reply (but not necessarily for a few days) depending on how often it is checked over the summer.
If you look on the LA website, there is probably a list of schools with spaces (for my LA there is one from April) - it won't be fully up to date, but it will give you an idea of which schools may have spaces. If there are no schools in your area with spaces, you might be best to stick with what you've got; if there are several, there's a good chance that at least one will still have spaces.
If all else fails, ask around locally - if the PAN is 30 (the number of pupils a school can take each year), and you find out from another parent that they were told at the new parents' evening that there are only 20 in the class, then there's probably going to be a space.

Hopefully that will give you an idea of whether there's a good chance of you finding a nearer space, or whether you're best just to stick with what you've got. Numbers are falling in some areas, so there may be spaces, but in other areas a new housing estate might mean the schools are pretty full.

If you can get hold of a school by email before term starts, you might be able to get the ball rolling for a place before the first day. If not, ring on the first day back for teachers, which is usually a day or two before kids go back. If they have a space, they'll probably do what they can to get you sorted out in time for her to start. They may have secondhand uniform in stock that they can use to help you get her kitted out. Sometimes reception kids don't all start the same day, which will buy a bit more time.

If you can stay living where you are until you find somewhere permanent, then one change of school is probably a better option than not starting until you're settled, especially as you can't guarantee when that will be.

I'd go with whatever is easiest for you logistically. In my experience including moving schools twice in infant school myself it is a very easy time to resettle in a new school, nothing like the difficulty of moving during secondary school. There is a lot of movement at my daughter's school and the kids settle quickly and slot into existing friendship groups. My daughter's two best friends didn't start with her in reception.

Also well done for leaving. I grew up in a home with domestic violence and it was truly awful. I wish we'd left.

Is social services involved since there was domestic abuse? Looked after children get top priority in school placement, so if your daughter has a social worker, I'd have a conversation with them about it.

No social services involved.

Thank youx
I'm so sorry you went through that.