To think people only remember the bad about others

[Potatocrisp]

Just that really... I'm an overthinker who tends to never forget my own flaws and mistakes. And I wonder if others remember things I've done wrong when they see me and think less of me for it? To clarify I don't think this of others.

Obviously context dependant but for example - say you make a mistake at work, I feel like people only remember or focus on this despite the thousands of things you get right daily.

Or in younger days when people would embarrass themselves on a night out and it's the talk of the group chat/town/etc.

I read somewhere that you remember the worst about yourself but the best about everyone else. Try to remember something embarrassing that happened to you, then try to remember something embarrassing that happened to someone else. You remember yours much more than anyone else’s! I imagine it works with all things, mistakes, flaws and all!

The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones.
William Shakespeare

I think we remember the best.

The past is often viewed with rose tinted glasses.

I only remember the worst about me.

I can tell you every embarrassing thing I've ever done, my mates on the other hand, some of whom I've known for 40 years, I can only recall the times they were absolute legends!

I remember most of my worst trespasses . But I can also recall stuff that people have done that upset me . Probably because I never forgive easily.

A bit like managers only pointing out your mistakes, if all you hear is negativity then you'll assume that you're not the best person for that role.

I'm an over thinker too, im forever thinking about my mistakes, i even sometimes believe that im not worthy of nice things, but the older i get the more i realise that life is too short to think about the negatives, and to focus on the positives.

So, do you only remember the bad things about everyone you've ever met? Are your overriding memories of your friends and colleagues only of the times they fucked up or said something a bit daft?

Your post title talks about remember the bad things 'about others' but it seems that it's only yourself you actually remember the bad things about! Nobody else is going to be thinking about some random thing you said a decade ago when you were a bit tipsy or the one time you forgot to send an important email at work. They're just not.

I think it's natural to overthink this stuff - we probably all do it. I know I do - I can still cringe at a time when I pronounced a word wrongly at primary school, ffs, or when I was on a drunken night out with friends and sneezed absinthe out of my nose in 1998. But I guarantee you that those are not the first things anyone else would remember about someone they knew. We're just naturally harder on ourselves than we are on other people.

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Maya Angelou

"you would care less about what others think of you if you knew how little they did"

No idea who said it but is true - most people are too busy worrying about themselves

What I remind myself of often is that I am not that important for people to spend their time thinking about my mistakes. Not to mention that you never know what people truly think about you so why worry?

I guess I just feel defined by my mistakes and feel like others must look at me that way too.

I've made a few mistakes at work recently, although apparently our work isn't about blaming people - this remains to be seen when I no doubt cock up again!
Never had issues in any of my other jobs either which makes it harder to swallow, just feel like I'm waiting on a disciplinary.

In reality my manager and team would say I'm dependable, hardworking and a team player with 90% of my work not having problems and I get great feedback from clients. But I feel like when they see me they're like there's potato the fuck up!

I suppose you are all right, people are too worried about themselves!!

I got the overthinking because I'm like that too. However, if we only remembered the bad things about people that we met then no one would ever have any kind of successful relationship ever would they? We would think everyone was horrible.

So true, if only we could all not overthink. It's such a waste of energy but I can't stop lol!