To wonder if it’s age or my back?

[Halfwaytothesky]

I’m 44.

Several years ago I slipped a disc in my lower back , and it’s never really healed. General advice I had at the time was that there wasn’t much that could be done.

Two pregnancies and it’s exacerbated my problems. I’ve realised recently how bad it is.

I can’t run. I don’t mean as in going for a run - I can’t run at all. Even walking is difficult, if I slip slightly or walk on an uneven surface it jars my back horribly. If I cough or sneeze I have to hold onto something. I feel old and tired.

I don’t know how normal it is. I know it can’t be completely normal. I’m getting worried about how it’s going to effect my life going forwards, and if there is anything at all I can do.

I have chronic back pain too, mostly related to pregnancy that's now long in the past!

What you're describing is definitely not normal, you are injured and in need of treatment. Unfortunately once you back is "bad" it's a lifelong thing to keep on top of it - it becomes a vicious circle as you stop moving, your muscles lose tone, so your back gets worse, rinse and repeat.

What you describe is really familiar to me from some years ago - I was constantly losing balance, had trouble walking reliably etc.

First step is to find a good professional to help you - whether that's a physio, chiropractor or an osteopath. Pay for it and choose your own - it's a worthwhile investment. Unfortunately this is an area where the NHS probably won't provide what you need.

How old is your youngest child?

I have back problems. I am also aware of the services available. You didn't answer my question about the pain clinic so I don't think I can add anything further.

My experience of the 'pain clinic' was some guy phoning me up and trying to be nice but also trying to convince me that I won't feel the pain so much if I don't focus on it and encouraging me to think positively. 🙄

I feel worst when I'm lying down. I often wake up and find that I can't get out of bed until I've done a number of exercises. I can't bend down to feed my cats in the morning. Then my back sometimes 'locks' which is actually a bit frightening.

Walking around helps the most but only for a short time really because at this point, I've got used to having pain every day but my mobility is affected.

Yes - I am not sure what this pain clinic is but it’s never been mentioned to me. It’s definitely just been ‘bad back, can’t do much, here’s pain relief.’

After a while you do sort of assume that’s it, that’s as much as anybody can do.

Unfortunately private physio is beyond my means: scraping a bit at the end of every month as it is

Youngest child is only 1 so very young still.

I don’t wish this on anyone but it’s good to talk to people who ‘get it.’

I’ve experienced the locked back too, I know exactly what you mean.

I do feel cautious and fearful a lot, scared of falling in particular. My oldest child likes to charge at me and give me huge hugs and I’m a bit scared of them 😂

Its not your age fgs.
There is so much you can do.
Go see a reputable sports physio and get them to do an evaluation.
Get an xray of your spine to rule out slipped discs spinal degeneration.

Get a vitamin D blood test, thats crucial. Start taking magnesium glycinate/ citrate to relax surrounding muscles and epsom salt baths
Do Pilates
Feldenkrais
and Physio rehab exercises.
Stop sitting so much, get up every 15 mins
Stand more
keep moving.
The two things you can do at home that make a huge difference is trigger point therapy with a tennis ball.
http://www.kimdeering.com/blog/tennis-ball-massage-for-muscle-pain-and-trigger-point-relief

And if you have door frames, hook your fingers over them and let yourself 'hang' stretch. Your feet dont need to leave the ground.
This has an incredible effect, on everything, including pinched nerves, disk issues etc.

I've had the locked back frequently over many years. Turns out (for me) that my back muscles had gone into spasm and locked up as they were weak. To stop the muscles from spasming they needed to be used so they can strengthen.

There are specific exercises for a weak back but the ones I always (try to) do is stand up straight, shoulders back, tummy in, especially when standing still in a queue. Walk as much as you can on smooth surfaces (can anyone let you use their treadmill for 30 mins once a week to start?). Also don't slouch on your sofa at night, sit upright. Get those muscles working and strengthening. I still get twinges but I've not had a locked back since doing the above. I assume you can do this even with slipped discs?

I think that kind of ‘fgs’ is what I’m used to @Omlettes - no idea why admitting I’m in pain gets people annoyed but it does. I’ve tried the things that you list. Generally things are useful very temporarily but not as a long term thing.

I have a pars defect, it's essentially a spinal fracture which apparently 5% of people have (more commonly women). Many people are symptomless. My spine moved out of line (seizing, bad back for a couple of years) until the movement (spondylolisthesis) meant my nerves are impinged and I had pain from hip to toes, that's the point I had an MRI and found it all out.
I likely had the pars defect from childhood but had a strong core. An emergency c section with no rehabilitation is what we believe led to the movement. Don't underestimate what pregnancy may have done to your spine and core

I have managed and very much improved my condition with amitriptyline (for nerve pain), losing weight and religiously doing orthopaedic pilates.IA strong core is vital

I had so much physio and it didn't help. Surgery is possible in the future but, for me, would be absolutely last resort

I now only wear flat shoes - i put in arch supporting insoles to the footwear because I'm not reading for orthopaedic shoes yet

You need an MRI to know how best to deal with it, for example stretches for sciatica would be the wrong thing entirely for me. Pilates is great but yoga is not because you extend the spine in ways which may not be good for you

I ruptured a disc in 2019 and slipped 2 below at the same time, still to this day have pain and mobility problems
I live on painkillers and struggle with my job which is probably not what you wanted to hear but there's not much else that can be done unfortunately

I have heard that when men go to the doctor with back pain, they get taken a lot more seriously.

It echoes my experience and is actually more helpful than impatient replies that tell me if I’d done this or that I wouldn’t be in pain now. That isn’t aimed at any one person here, but it is both upsetting and hurtful. I find it so lonely. I can’t really talk about it in RL and this is the first ‘moan’ I have had. And it IS a moan but tbh I think I can have a moan!

Three things you should do:
Stretch every morning and evening. Proper stretches, use an app like 7m.
Pilates gently to strengthen your core, go to a class and continue at home.
See a chiropractor.

Combined theyve got rid of my sciatica and I can walk/ run again.

I had debilitating back pain I couldn’t walk and all the GP would prescribe was Valium! I forked out for a chiropractor and was money well spent, although I’m not pain free I can walk without aids or being bent over and can do most things again (still can’t lie flat though) I’d give a chiropractor a go, nothing to loose!

That's not even close to a normal way to live at any age. Ask to be referred back to the specialist.

No brilliant advice I'm afraid but I'm sorry it's like this & I hope you get relief. Bad backs are utterly miserable 😢

Hello, i suggest you look up FACT its a grant giving charity for women recovering from injury or illness t they might be able to help with the cost of private treatment.

Also if you have young children that is probably making your back worse so there is hope it will improve when they are older.

I find GPs are useless. I tend to go to chiropractor who also does acupuncture. The next day the pain is always worse but after that my back is so much better.
I'm same age as you although my injury is different and I spend a lot of time in pain and often can't lift my son due to the pain.
I don't know if you've tried acupuncture alongside using a chiropractor but it's the only thing that actually helped me.

Physio then Pilates.

I’m sure people maybe want to be helpful, but I am almost a decade into this and the obvious and not so obvious stuff has been tried.

A physiotherapist can give you exercises to correct this.

You can ask and they can say 'no'. Which is what has happened to me.

I've basically been told that it's my own responsibility to fix my back by myself and it does really wind me up. So I totally understand where the OP is coming from.

Thanks @Emmanuelll

@Fimbledore I've seen the physio who barely even glanced at me, asked some questions and gave me some exercises. Which make no difference.

I hope it heals itself: pregnancy definitely made it worse.

Sorry if that makes you feel unheard. 😪
I ruptured a disc in 2010 and had surgery. I ruptured a second one in 2017 but no surgery that time.
I saw a private physio last year and hadn't realised I should have been doing exercises to strengthen my back and correct my posture which has overcompensated for years. I get sciatica whenever I walk for more than half an hour so I do sympathise. But am hopeful I can change the damage that's been done.

Can you self refer to NHS physio in your area? It might take ages but they can refer you for an MRI. Also refer to a specialist. You have to keep on & on about it, as much as it shouldn't be this way you do have to keep plugging away at GPs & physios to get anywhere. Do you have nerve pain? As your GP can/should prescribe something that could help. Also how is your sleep?

I'm so sorry, I really do feel for you.