fed up of lack of support from ex

[Buddies9]

What the title says….

my ex likes to say we’re ‘Co parenting…
co parenting my a*se

he has our 7 year old daughter one night a week.. alternate Friday/Saturday. This weekend he picked her up Friday, then dropped her at his parents and then went to a wedding with his wife and their shared child.

the first week of the summer holidays, he went on holiday for the week with his wife and their child. His mum collected DD on the Saturday and dropped her back off on the Sunday. I asked my DD where her dad was and she told me he’s gone on holiday with his wife and their son! I haven’t mentioned this to my ex but my daughter was upset that she didn’t get to go and it’s peed me off how he’s booked a week off work and not asked to have our daughter extra. The wedding thing I don’t know, maybe the invite wasn’t extended to my daughter.

So my question is AIBU to be fed up of the fact that in ALL the school holidays it’s me who has to use literally all my annual leave (28 days) on booking time off to look after my daughter and then scrambling around asking for help of family or paying for summer clubs.
whenever I ask him for help he says he can’t get time off…yet he manages time off for holidays and weddings with his new family?
then he has the nerve to say he’s a Co-parent?

doesn’t help that the new wife practically gloats at me. I collected DD from their house the a few weeks ago and she handed her over as ex was bathing toddler apparently. And she told me how my DD was dreading summer club the following day, so I said well i haven’t got a choice I’ve run out of annual leave, then she tells me how she feels so fortunate to work in a school and that when her son starts school she feels so lucky that she gets all the holidays off! I was lost for words but I got the feeling by her tone of voice and her smile that she was taking the piss out of me.

please honest opinions … AIBU?? I literally have a tiny amount of annual leave left which I am trying to save to take my DD to Haven for Halloween in October half term with our friends. All my annual leave has gone on being off work due to no childcare in the holidays or if she’s off sick or need’s appointments etc.

any other single parents out there STRUGGLING for childcare over the summer hols and get no support of the ex 😭

Not to mention the cost of holiday clubs £££

also I want to mention how I gave up my hair dressing job as I couldn’t afford to be self employed anymore due to the school holidays and not getting paid annual leave… yet my ex gets to keep his career and do what I consider as the bare minimum for our daughter

Once every other weekend here.
my son has been in nursery all the holidays.

If i ask- he’s working yet has his other child twice a week- his excuse- she lives closer.

Your daughter will realise who was there when she’s older.

Course you’re not being unreasonable. This man is totally useless. But unfortunately you can’t force a useless parent to have their child. My DSS’ mum offloaded him at every possible opportunity through the toddler years (I did more childcare than she did) but there was nothing my DP could do. Attempts to talk with the ex never worked. Ultimately your priority is your DC and you’re not going to put her in a situation where she isn’t wanted.

Hoping others on here will have a more creative suggestion that my DP never thought of. Your rage has my sympathy OP.

I'd be telling him it's time to sort out a child arrangements order that means you are actually Co-parenting. Lazy bastard.

That would be useless to the OP.
She wants him to have her. No court would make him have her more than he wants.

OP it's absolutly shit. Clearly he's got a favourite child and I can't imagine the upset that causes your poor daughter.

Do you speak to his mum? Could she babysit more?