To ask about partners past?

[TheSoundOfTheSky]

I absolutely don't think that anyone owes their current partner any details about their romantic past and I don't ask about it.

Newish boyfriend and we have exchanged confidences that we have offered freely, including how long we were each single before meeting.

He told me about something that he said happened x time ago - around the time he split with ex (I didn't ask, he just said it), but previously he had told me he had split with her much longer ago.

Would it be ok to ask, in these circs, why the discrepancy in what he's said?

I trust him, I don't think he's done anything wrong. And I don't want to be intrusive because I'm not at all jealous. It's more that I'm pedantic and this mismatch in details is annoying me.

Wibu to ask?
Or should I just forget it?

I would ask. I would want to know why he felt the need to say it was longer ago in the first place.

I would casually ask. It's too soon to be interrogating someone but just a "by the way, you know how you said...?" type of question.

It could be a mix up, different ex, or a miscommunication but you probably want to know.

You're right, no one owes anyone any information they don't want to give and it's still early in the relationship. On the other hand, if I got closer to someone and we weren't naturally sharing more about our lives and our pasts, I would wonder why. But you aren't there yet so yours is the right approach.

Probably just a miscommunication or perhaps he’s getting mixed up with details etc but I would definitely ask if it’s bugging you.

Relationships should be a safe environment to ask those types of things and there shouldn’t be an issue with openness and transparency. You are right though that you don’t need to know the ins and outs of every detail.

You say you don't think they owe you any details, but are clearly fixated on knowing the details. You're looking to pick holes in his story, almost like you want drama.

Don't ask.

I suppose if he originally told you they’d been broken up for a year when you met but now it appears they may have only broken up the day before, it would be worth clarifying. Beyond that sort of discrepancy, is it going to make a material difference to your relationship? Will you break up with him if he says “oh yes, seems there was a misunderstanding, we broke up on [more recent date.]”? What outcome are you wanting / anticipating? Most people just want to put their past relationships behind them rather than think about precise details to relay to new people.

I don't understand not asking more.

If he's a liar you want to know as soon as possible so you can dump him.

Mixed responses.

It's not something that would particularly bother me either way. Hmm. Maybe I will just forget it

I definitely don't want any drama. The opposite. I've also suffered from someone who thought it was his right to know absolutely everything about my relationship and sexual past, and then to pick it all apart and act as if it was his business and use it against me, so I very much do not want to in any way shape or form be that person.