Call the police?? Worried about stranger

[prawncocktail2]

Not sure if I’m being overly cautious but wouldn’t want to risk not reporting it?

I regularly go over the bridge that runs over j29a of the m1. Very high bridge that looks over the motorway. Just gone past and there’s a young lad maybe 16/17 sat on the pavement with his legs up, elbows on his knees and covering his face with his hands. He looks like he’s stressed. He’s dressed all black with his head up. I just feel uneasy that he’s sat on the pavement like that so close to the bridge? What would you do?

I can’t believe you need to even ask on this forum what to do.. I would have pulled over and walked back to check he was ok. Imagine if that was your child.

You did a good thing, you may have saved his life.
Hopefully he's now being looked after.

I have said upthread that I had my young DD in the car as we were on way back from a family thing so I couldn't leave her in the car, other wise I would have found somewhere to pull up and checked on him

Why were you so reluctant to ask the police to check on him?

I hope the young lad is OK and was just watching the world go by.

What 3 words has many issues, I wouldn't use it in any type of emergency situation at all, there have been many incidents of it being totally inaccurate, so I would find a different way of getting a location.

It’s good you rang it in op, I know you and people said about the delay but I’m pretty sure there’s a 50% change I might have just assumed either the person would be ok or someone else would help. Not proud of it but it’s true. Well done, hope he’s ok x

Christ, MN is getting nastier and nastier by the day.

Well done, OP. You’re a good person for noticing and caring. Ignore the a-holes on here.

Really? . Well she did the right thing in the end !. And if you actually read her post , she had her daughter in the car.

I’m in trauma therapy now, three years on. The “what ifs” are awful, even when you’ve done absolutely everything you could’ve done…. Which is why I urge absolutely everyone to always do whatever they can safely do in the moment. If in doubt: act. Don’t seek the opinions of others to sound opinions out first - just act by doing something proactive in that moment.

Admittedly, I’m hyper-vigilant now and aware of risk everywhere. But always better to be safe than sorry.

OP. You don't need to justify yourself here. You did the right thing by contacting the police. Its not down to you to approach a complete stranger if they look stressed. You don't know what you might face. I think you did great. Hope he's OK.

As someone who's spent a lot of adult life being suicidal, I don't think you should feel bad about not stopping someone from killing themselves. It took away their pain. People often don't care about us while we're alive; they just want to make sure we don't die, and that can be torture. 😑 The person needed to escape.

Someone did this for me once. I was having a shitter of a time and went and sat up on a footbridge over a motorway. Just sitting with my legs through the bars zoned out, but someone called it in and the police came out to check on me and get me home.

I remember thinking how crazy it was that someone cared enough about a total stranger to worry about them that much, and wishing I could thank that person for just seeing me. So, I'll thank you instead, for noticing even if it was nothing.

Sorry to hear you’ve also had your struggles. With respect, I too had many years of severe MH issues with suicide ideation / attempts, but really don’t agree with what you’re saying. You can’t know until you witness someone’s death what that’s like for that person, even if you think it’s what you yourself want.

Ive also lost a loved one to suicide, so have also seen it from that perspective and it’s a lot more complex from that perspective.

To be fair these threads come along with alarming regularity, and it is worrying that so many adults can't just decide to call emergency services anymore, without asking the internet first.

Then they'll invariably call them anyway after a few posts.

Obviously not just this OP, but far too many others also.

Op, you did a good thing. Lots of people are so sure of what they would do when they are sat at home, but it’s not always that clear in the moment.

How is it ever wasting their time OP?
You ring it in on 999 and they decide what to do which will ALWAYS be a grade 1.

DH is police and has been to 12 suicides in the past 8 weeks. All men. His 8 officers are aged 21-35 and they are all dealing with this. They don’t get a gentle intro to it, they have to just deal with it.

If you can help someone who is in distress always, always call the police on 999.

I disagree with criticising people for needing reassurance about calling 999. It can be a daunting, even scary thing to do, and people are often worried about wasting the time of emergency services.

Think it all you want, but when you criticise people online for needing a bit of reassurance about taking action, you only discourage others from checking in the future - and they may not act without it.

There can be many reasons people find it hard to make the decision by themselves, and many which would deserve empathy not criticism. Not forgetting that most people who ask don't have, or feel they have, someone they can ask in person. If you're driving along with your spouse or friend you can say 'do you think we should..? What if...?' which really isn't very different from seeking reassurance here.

If you think there's the remotest possibility that someone may be about to kill themselves, you dial 999.

That is what we should be encouraging people to do here.

ETA: We shouldn't be encouraging people to faff about on internet forums first.

Well done, @prawncocktail2 You probably saved a life tonight by being bothered enough to care. And I totally agree with what @DoIdriveaVauxhallZafira posted.

And yet they’re always high flyers who earn 150k+ and manage dozens of people.

I think this is a really important conversation that you've made OP, good on you.

You called it in.

For the people who are shaming you, I live somewhere where people do jump, and no, I wouldn't be happy stood there with them at that height. Firstly, I wouldn't want to be stood there under no circumstances, and there is no barrier, and secondly, I'm not going to risk going over for someone else. You are fucking stupid if you are not trained and you're going to put yourself into that situation.

@LovelyBitOfHam please would you refer any of us who're interested (I am) to the sources from which you got that figure and the information regarding the employment positions of the people you refer to ?

It was a joke. Please refer to your sense of humour.

It's amazing how seeing something out of the ordinary can really hit you. The OP was just asking for support. I wouldn't necessarily know what to do if I saw what the OP did. You might get a feeling of something being not right, at least the OP hasn't ignored it and asked for support. I earn £3 a day by the way 🤣. No I don't. Or do I?

About 20 years ago my father was witness to a suicide from (his words) "a very high bridge over the M1" in that area, so I wonder if it was the same bridge. His coat was used to cover the poor young woman who died.

The police gave him his coat back. He burned it and had 2 weeks off work as he simply couldnt process what he had seen. He still occasionally mentions it now, it will never leave him.

You did the right thing.