To find it hard coping with a nearly 15 month old

[Imalittlewitch]

I have a supportive DH and he will be staying at home when I go back to work next week. We have a ten year old too. I had postnatal depression after my youngest and I take medication. I'm in treatment. I just feel like a bad person because I feel depressed and crap with dealing with her. Can anyone relate? I had hoped those feelings would have gone away by now. When she's upset, I just feel very down.

Bump

Do you have any help from your GP? Have you spoken to the health visitor about it? I think there's support in the form of CBT available...

This must be very difficult for you

Hi! Thanks for the reply. Yes, I see a psychiatrist through my GP. I had help with the health visitor too. I am under the community team. I had just hoped I'd be better by now. When I'm looking after her I just feel dread that something is going to happen. I conceived her after 8 years of trying so had given up. She was very much a surprise. I feel like I almost wasn't ready for her though. My mind feels like it's in a fog a lot of the time. Every so often I vomit from stress.

What is wrong with me. I can't really talk to family and friends. They don't understand

My relationship with food has gone again too. I find it hard to eat. I just think what's the point.

@Imalittlewitch Have you spoken to your team about how you feeling re going back to work? I imagine transitions like that are especially difficult. I think it can take a while to recover from too.. hopefully someone with experience in this will come along to the thread soon x

@hedgehoggle thanks. No, I haven't spoken to anyone about it. I kind of lurch from day to day.

I think you need to go back to the psychiatrist and the community team and tell them how hard you’re finding everything, especially the upcoming transition of going back to work. You might need more support or to adjust your medication. Yes, little kids are hard and sometimes that’s incessant, but what you’re describing sounds like your PND affecting you.

Thanks @StuckOnTheCeiling Yes, I just had an increase in dosage. I guess it's pathetic but I feel like I need someone to tell me everything is OK and is going to be OK. My mum is dead a long time. I wish I had someone like that. Or a sister. You have helped me though, thanks.

I’m glad you’re in touch with them.

It will be ok, parenting is overwhelming even without PND in the mix, there’ll be a point where you get more sleep, and your child’s needs aren’t as physical - that was such a turning point for me, when you can literally move around more easily. It’s really hard when you don’t have family support. Get help from every place you can, you deserve it!

Have you tried Homestart? Something like that might really help you. Have a chat with your HV about it.