Can’t cope . Full time work and 2 under 3

[Blackdoggyfoggy]

I have 2 under 3. Returned to work full time
When Ds was 8 months. 9 months on and I’m burnt out . I feel like I’m missing my babies develop and grow.

My job is very emotional , working with vulnerable clients all across London.

I feel like I’m being short tempered and miserable with the children and H . I’m struggling at work. I feel so much pressure to keep a ‘good’ job with a pension but I am so unhappy.

We have no debt and a small home so small mortgage and could just cope if i took children out of nursery full time and I worked part time.
I just don’t know why I don’t get a part time job with little stress and no commute?!
I worry as I’m nearly 40 and feel I’m so far behind in my carer and if I give up my job now I will never get it back . This job won’t work part time.

But I’m desperate to enjoy this time with my children who I miss terribly. I just feel so conflicted. This weekend I was typing reports while my 17 month old desperately tried to get my attention. I ended up snapping . I hate myself.

I earn 35k so not massive at all .I feel like i need to work hard to get on so i can provide for my children hence me feeling I can’t leave this job. But im so depressed im not of much use to my children now. I never wanted to be this mum. I feel I’m missing my children grow up .

AIBU to pause my carer for 3 years ???

I work in a similar job with a 7 and 9 year old. Could I have done it when they were younger ? Absolutely not! Go part time.

Speak yo your husband. Decide buffet u can afford to go part time. If u can hopefully your work will be supportive. Best of luck

You realise they will also be ‘developing and growing’ when they are 7, 9, 13 etc? It’s not all about the pre school years. They’re nicer to be around when older too.

Brutal on nursery fees though - feel your pain there.

I think this time is so special. I hate they are in nursery full time and I can’t be with them.@otravezempezamos
When they are 7/9/13 they have to go to school but now they don’t have to be at nursery and I could be with them. On the weekends I am always stressed and worried about work and trying to stuff done that even on my time off I’m so stressed and exhausted.

It sounds like you have made your decision OP.

If you can afford it, and you are able, going part time for a couple of years sounds like it is the right option for you.

Prioritise your family- it sounds like that is the most important thing for you. You won't get this time back. If you're really unhappy then make the change.