Wasting my weekend

[abigaail]

I've wasted a whole weekend again. Not left the house since Friday night and now it's time to go back to work. While I'm at work in the week I think about all the nice things I could do at the weekend or little jobs I can get done at home, but I never really do any of them when the time comes. It's like I get overwhelmed with the freeness of the weekend and can't decide and then it's gone and I've wasted it again! Or I feel too tired to go out and I end up napping in the day. Is it just me that feels this way? I'd love to change and make the most of my free time. Any advice is most welcome!

It’s not just you - I spend most weekends like this and would love to change.

Maybe you need down time. Is your job particularly busy/stressful?
I write a 3 item to do list each day so there are some things I have to do. Some are life stuff, some are self care.

I am exactly the same but I have got to the point where I just don't let it bother me too much. Have you got ADHD? Sometimes it can be analysis paralysis, where you want/need to do lots and your mind is racing to decide how, what, when, why you should do certain things and it becomes so overwhelming you freeze.

Decide to do something you need to book for, and book it.

Make one day of the weekend your getting out and doing something day, and the other one your slobbing out / doing your chores at home day.

Make plans with a friend - then you'll have to go.

Make a list of things you want to do at weekends, keep it where you can't lose it, and tick them off.

Plan to do something you've never done before at least once a month.

I just spent all day doing nothing and world like to change that too (some weekends I am v busy, it’s just when I’m home and meant to be sorting things out).

It’s anxiety procrastination and bad habits for me I think, what causes it for you?

Track your time, find out what you do, track it in 15 minute chunks.
Even if you just write down every 15 minutes (while awake) what you're doing at that moment.
Scrolling social media?
Watching TV?
Making dinner?
I don't think you slept 60 hours, it wasn't all napping.

I did stuff yesterday, but today I have had a headache most of the day. Got up around mid-day, went into town, had to come back to bed for most of the afternoon. Lying down and being online on here. Headache wearing off and I feel wretched. I’ve wasted most of the day and my neighbours next door are industrious and productive. I could weep. I’ve had many, many weekends as you describe.

Try to keep your to do list short n simple. Plan to spend 2 hours both mornings doing a couple of specific things and the rest of the day after lunch being a couch potato/napping.

I always try and plan ahead for the weekends :) Either pre arrange to meet up with friends or family, or book tickets for something/book a table at a restaurant for dinner.

Or if I have a weekend with no particular plans like that but I want to get stuff done round the house I make a list and cross things off it so I feel like I’m getting somewhere :)

My job isn't very stressful but is very physical. I'm on my feet for 4x 10 hour night shifts during the week. And getting about 5-6 hours sleep between shifts in the daytime. I don't think it's adhd or anything that causes me to waste my time but probably just because I'm so tired by the end of the week that doing anything seems like too much effort! I'm going to try writing a list of small jobs that need doing and keeping it where I can see it to prompt me. And making plans early in the week for nice things to do aswell so I don't waste time "thinking about" what to do on the actual day! I can be so indecisive I can waste a whole day thinking about what i would like to do,then never actually getting round to doing any of it!

OP I think it's fine to have some weekends like that. In fact I positively look forward to them.

I'm v busy with work & family life during the week so recently I've been making an effort to get all the main housework tasks done during the week when I'm up & active anyway. I get groceries in on a Friday evening for the weekend & I treat it like my own private hotel getaway!

I LOVE IT ❤️

The house is clean & tidy, the fridge is full of delicious things & I have 2 days to luxuriate with my books, in the garden, snuggld with my dh or the cat, watch TV etc.

I used to feel that pressure to 'be active' or that I was 'wasting my life' by using weekends to chill out.

Last summer we were away on a month long break & it was amazing - and j realised it was because we actually had enough time to properly relax. Sit in a cafe sipping coffee watching the world go by. Take an afternoon nap. While away a whole day just chatting. Etc & since then I've tried to find ways to incorporate this into our everyday lives.

Dh is fully on board so we use Monday- Friday to be as productive as possible & then we take Friday night / sat / sun to do lots of nothing!!

Some weekends we have specific plans to do things or visit family & friends etc but we feel the benefit of not over scheduling our free time.

We're lucky enough to have a house that we love, with a beautiful garden & we hit the realisation that it's important to just enjoy being here together.

You work 4 x night shifts a week... No wonder you're tired! There's no law that says you have to be busy all the time.
When I worked nights, I was permanently exhausted - I don't remember ever doing anything much on my days off other than floating around like a zombie.

A pp has it spot on - have one day for doing stuff, and the other one for chilling out, that way you get the best of both worlds. Be kind to yourself.

You probably need the rest, in a manual job. That's what weekends are for.

Aye, I’m the same. Weekends just seem to slip by, don’t they? I’ll be watchin’ this thread too, seein’ if there’s owt that helps.

This is me too, I also work from home so other than the food shop, I hardly leave the house. I've joined the gym to get me out of the house every day, on a weekend it feels like I've achieved something.

Each weekend we have a 'staying close to home' day and a ',going out somewhere nice's day. The weather decides which day is which.
Make two lists. Nice places you'd like to visit and jobs that need doing in the home/garden plus books to read/ things to do at home.
Start working through the list.

Excellent post @IsThisCluttered
I think with SM and the insta worthy pics being fed to us all the time we have forgotten how to just relax and also that it is very good to just relax

I don’t do much at the weekend but I don’t care. It’s what I prefer.

Do anything that's important first thing, early in the morning.

Get those jobs out of the way, then you can forget about them and fritter the rest of the day away without any guilt, because you've done the jobs on your list.

Works for me 😁

Make a small plan for a few nice things e.g. meet friend for coffee and then a few jobs. If you didn't relax you would get burned out.

I have tweens who are into sport and I work full time. I can't even get a day to relax at the weekend. I often get run down, am in my 50s. I relax for an hour here and there, ignoring decluttering etc. I get a bit more time on holidays.

Maybe check and see if you are lacking in vitamins. Lack of vit D can cause the listlessness.

I remember doing stuff every weekend, going out to places all the time. But the last couple of years I've really gone into myself and cut myself off. Cost of Living hasn't helped as I now think, I can't go there it costs money or uses petrol or going out on my own isn't much fun.

The other weekend I met a friend for a drink on the Sunday which was lovely. I went to a farm shop on Saturday with my mum, and am planning on going to a craft fair at the end of the month and see if I can start my Christmas shopping.

I'm now only going to go to the gym Monday-Friday so that I can do stuff at weekends, try and get some kind of life again.

You probably need the rest and relaxation time.
We are made to feel we must be busy and doing something when I like nothing better than a lazy weekend.

Would it help to not only write a list but also allocate a day and time slot to everything on the list?

Eg Parkrun - Sat am
Laundry and ironing - Sat pm
Declutter cupboard - Sat pm
Meet friend and go to cinema - Sat eve
etc

@IsThisCluttered that sounds fab! I also make sure to do the weekly food shop on a Friday with plenty of weekend treats included! I have a day in the week off work after I condensed my nightshifts from 5x 8 hour shifts to 4x 10 hours. So Wednesday should be my big housework day to free up the weekend for nice things. But I haven't managed to get in the groove of that yet and mostly laze around on that day too! I just need a kick up the backside and I'm definately going to start taking some extra vitamins I'm sure I'm lacking in most as my diet is not the best and I'm sure I'm low on vitamin d! I'm just aware that summer will be over soon and would like to have made the most of it rather than just sitting in my garden drinking cups of tea (which is nice but there are nicer things I could be doing)