Spending a whole month with family too much?

[Ladyinpink11]

Cut a long story short, I live in the UK with my family and I've come to my home country for a full month with my son. My husband will follow next week and so far I've done 2 weeks. Reason for going was to enjoy lots of sunshine, for my son to spend time with the gramps and for my mum to help with childcare on some days whilst I work. (Which she loves doing and she suggested as she doesn't get to see him as much with us living abroad!) Now I'm starting to believe that this is way too long a time. We started arguing about a couple of things and I kind of just want to go home, or go to a hotel. It's like I'm back to being a teenager and my mum is making comments about my work commitments, my friend coming round etc. is this normal? Was I being naive in thinking such an extended period of time with your parents is just too much??

I agree with you now, after thinking about it I should not entertain guests during working hours. Thanks for your honest reply.

To all who have replied that her anger at me having a guest during work hours, I can see the other side now too. You're totally right, I'm going to stick now to meeting friends after work only, and that not too long/ will take my DS with me.

I stay with my parents for a month, they live in the UK and we live in Spain. I love it and so does my daughter, I take her out on my own a lot to give my parents some space. My husband comes for about a week, he couldn't cope with more and I couldn't do more than a week with my in-laws, even though they are really nice. We can't see my parents very often so I think it's important for my daughter to spend a nice long time with them.

Oh also I don't need my parents to babysit, as I work term time only, generally we all do things together. I imagine that makes a difference too.

Thanks for your reply, your set up sounds good as well. I should have said I work part time only - it's not like they do full time childcare, and I also take him out loads by myself. Once my husband is here, we will do lots of little trips and outings as a family as well ☺️

Jaysus a month is waaaay too long and i don't live in the country I was born. I wouldn't dream of going back and staying in my parents house for a month.

I think it totally depends on family dynamics, how much space there is, also if kids are involved...I also want my DS to be able to practice the language which he loves doing and think it's a big advantage to be able to spend so much time with gramps and different culture. Each to their own though of course!

This sounds infuriating. It's always frustrating as a remote worker having to explain (constantly, over and over again) that your work flow isn't necessarily a strict 9-to-5 where you're either Working or Not Working, and that it can sometimes allow for multiple breaks in a day.

There is no way on earth I could work from my parents home for a month, no way.
Don’t forget if your mother doesn’t work now, she will probably not understand the dynamics of working from home.
My mother struggled to understand that being self employed meant she couldn’t just pop round and sit chatting to me whilst I was trying to work.
No matter how much you love your family a month is far too much.
Everyone has their own unique ways. Think about work. How different people are even doing the same job.

I even had my DF having a dig at me.

DM had moaned to him, he moaned to me!

“Your DM is knackered, and you are lazy” 😆

So I demonstrated how we live at home at every point until everyone learnt.

“Stop mum, the boys can carry their own plates from the table and load them into the dishwasher/make their beds/tidy their bedroom/get themselves a drink” … or whatever.

They don't need me or you to wait on them!

A month? I can’t spend more than 2 hours with my mother. Not unreasonable to need to get out. Husband arriving makes a great excuse to got to a hotel and be together there, if you can’t work it sooner

Oh my goodness yes!! Exactly this😂And when I say, you guys do a longer lunch break and I take a longer break, they will say something like "You have to do your work, we are fine", as if I don't trust them to look after him. When all I want to do is help!
Totally agree, my mum still tries to dress him and I have to tell her not to otherwise he will lose all independence by the time we leave again. This must be a grandma thing then!

I'm on day 3 at my mums and already had an argument lol. Don't get me started on feeling like a teenager once again, she needs to know where am going, why I'm going, what friends I'm seeing. Telling me off for going into town centre on a Sunday! Bc apparently shops don't open on Sundays, it's 2024 a lot has changed from 20 years ago!
Isn't grateful for all the gifts I've bought her, instead gives a list of further things she wants bc I obviously grow money in my garden. Demands expensive items such as gold, I literally had to tell her I've got kids and bills, I can't splash out on gold! I'm so glad I live far away, at the same time I wish I was closer so wouldn't ever need to stay over.

It totally depends on family dynamics. I have just spent 3 weeks of my maternity leave with my parents in my home country with my little boy and 2 more weeks with my husband joining us and having the chance I would do it again and again.
By the end of it I did feel it was time to go back home to my routine but overall I had a great time and I am grateful about having the chance to spend time together when we don't get to see each other that much during the year.