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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour shouting at young children

7 replies

Tallullahmakata · 11/08/2024 20:12

There is a neighbour behind us who has 4 young children (I'd guess the eldest was 10 ish). Every time the weather is nice and we're out in the garden, you can hear her screaming at her eldest child.
OK, so kids are a pain. I'm not blind, I've bought up children myself and of course they get on your nerves.
However, it is every time we are out and the kids are too. He seems to being blamed for being mean to sister, getting the paddling pool water dirty, tracking grass in. That sort of stuff. She screamed at him today "You're scum." "You're a fucking piece of shit." Now, he shouts back, but then what else would you expect?.
I would also assume that we hear it when we're out, but it is also happening indoors where we wouldn't hear.
I want to ring the police for a welfare check (perhaps nothing would come of it but it might shame her or put them on the radar).
My partner says it's an over reaction and just to out a post on our street fb page or mind our own business.
So:
AIBU: leave them alone
YANBU report them

OP posts:
Sheelanogig · 11/08/2024 20:15

You could contact your safeguarding hub (details will be on the local authority website.

It is manned by social services. If the family are already known to them it does help build up a picture. Support can be put in place to help all the family.

Tallullahmakata · 11/08/2024 20:17

Sheelanogig · 11/08/2024 20:15

You could contact your safeguarding hub (details will be on the local authority website.

It is manned by social services. If the family are already known to them it does help build up a picture. Support can be put in place to help all the family.

Thank you. He sounds like a handful so don't want to wade in all judgmental. However, to me it's clear she needs support.
I'll try that. Thank you.

OP posts:
sprigatito · 11/08/2024 20:18

Your DP wants you to put a post in the local FB group? Is he mad? What the hell would that achieve?

I think you should call social services or your local MASH team (if they're still called that!). She's verbally abusing her children and it's absolutely not acceptable.

Aheadfullofwords · 11/08/2024 20:19

Put an anonymous web form in on the NSPCC website, or contact your local social services.

Tallullahmakata · 11/08/2024 20:21

sprigatito · 11/08/2024 20:18

Your DP wants you to put a post in the local FB group? Is he mad? What the hell would that achieve?

I think you should call social services or your local MASH team (if they're still called that!). She's verbally abusing her children and it's absolutely not acceptable.

I think he thinks it might shame her into being less "angry" if she knows people can hear. He told me yo post on here as Mumsnet always know best 🤣
I'm aware, it's not that simple.
Thank you for the advice. I will definitely be passing on my concerns.

OP posts:
sprigatito · 11/08/2024 20:25

She's more likely to take it out on the kids if you shame her online, unfortunately.

Good on you for wanting to do the right thing for those children, OP. Lots of us wish someone had done the same for us. If you know which school the children attend you could have a word with their safeguarding lead as well (you'll get people telling you it's nothing to do with the school, but I'm a teacher and would always want to know if a child was being abused at home, both so that we could make a separate SS referral and because the child might need extra support).

Tallullahmakata · 11/08/2024 20:31

sprigatito · 11/08/2024 20:25

She's more likely to take it out on the kids if you shame her online, unfortunately.

Good on you for wanting to do the right thing for those children, OP. Lots of us wish someone had done the same for us. If you know which school the children attend you could have a word with their safeguarding lead as well (you'll get people telling you it's nothing to do with the school, but I'm a teacher and would always want to know if a child was being abused at home, both so that we could make a separate SS referral and because the child might need extra support).

I could find out the school, it's a small town..but given it's August I will look at ways to report it now and gibe the school a ring in September.
Thank you.for your advice..

OP posts:
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