To feel so frustrated that I can't afford to move out of my parents' house?

[CantAffordIt]

I'm single and earn £32,000. My career does not have much progression, so I doubt my pay will ever increase by much more. I can't afford to move out of my parents' house. I feel like my life is on hold, I'm 30 and I can't afford to live alone and support myself. It's so embarrassing and frustrating.

I don't meet the affordability criteria for renting a 1-bedroom flat (£1000-£1200/month) or buying one on shared ownership. I don't want to live in a house share because I feel like it is the same situation I am in now, but instead of sharing a kitchen/bathroom/lounge with family it will be with housemates.

I'm living at home to 'save up and move out' - but there's nothing to save up for really. It's not affordable on my salary, and I can't retrain as I have already used up all of my student finance.

I feel so hopeless, life feels very bleak.

When I started my first job there was no expectation of me staying in the locale of my family. I was single and prepared to move anywhere for work.

Regardless of what she claims, OP could rent a one bedroom flat in London on her salary, not in a great area of course. She also could have her pick of houseshares. But she just wants the easy life living with mummy and daddy, she just doesn’t want to own that.

How much are you saving each month, Op? My DD is currently living at home and earning slightly less than you and managing to save £1k a month.

You could retrain as a healthcare professional and receive Student Finance, even if you have a first degree. You can also get an NHS bursary which you don't have to repay:
www.healthcareers.nhs.uk/career-planning/study-and-training/considering-or-university/financial-support-university

Bingo. Young people today seem to think they're entitled to life being handed to them on a plate.

I did a mortgage assessment for an agreement in principle and my bank agreed to £118k, which isn't enough for anything in my area. The cheapest property is £180,000 for a studio.
Kent Coastal - you could commute from here and get a one bed flat, and possibly a part buy. I don't suggest slumming it, but you could get a 2 bed in some areas here and let a room.

can you relocate? I have just borrowed £200k on £35k. My salary is going up massively soon but they didn’t take that into account so I will be mortgage free by 45 (currently 25). It’s a 5 bed so we shouldn’t have to move. Could you look at houses in less desirable areas as the first step?

I'm single and earn £32,000. My career does not have much progression, so I doubt my pay will ever increase by much more.

You need a new career. Obviously.

Assuming you love your job OP, you have 2 choices.

1. Stick at your current career and accept that your life choices will be diminished by the poor salary for the rest of your life, including retirement
2. Accept that for you the priority is life outside of work and make moves towards a more suitably paid career, either within London or in a cheaper area and take a job your love less, but that materially benefits you more

Of course, if you don’t ABSOLUTELY LOVE your job, it will be a very easy decision

this, basically. I was in a similar position in my mid twenties, (10 years ago) working in the heritage/cultural centre, lots of short term posts mainly around London. Full time and better paid posts like hen's teeth, and even then most of my older colleague in those jobs could only afford to live a fairly decent lifestyle because their partners were in much better paid work. I had to decide if I wanted to continue in the job I loved but accept unless I met a rich partner I'd probably still either be in a houseshare in my 40s. I switched jobs, moved to a cheaper area, and bought a house aged 28.

Yes it's shit that those types of jobs are essentially ring-fenced to the upper middle classes despite attempts to improve diversity - and I do miss it, but the job I have now is fine, quite interesting, better paid with good terms and conditions and I can still enjoy the history/cultural element as a hobby. With this job I'll hopefully earn enough and have a good pension so I can go back to the sector when I'm older and volunteer. Most importantly I have the freedom and security of my own house and money to spare to enjoy life, which for me outweighed having the perfect job.

It's perfectly possible to move out on your wage outside the SE - I have friends on minimum wage who live alone, albeit it's not easy. Cheaper area doesn't have to mean rough either - I still live in a city with a lot going on and can get to London in about 90 mins by train. You also don't need to go back to uni to change career, most people have transferrable skills, it just takes a few sideways 'hops.'

According to the ONS, only 5% of women are still living with their parents by 30 ( so it can't be that impossible! They can't all be high flyers either, and the average salary for a 30-39 year old is about £37k, but obviously varies a lot by location, sector etc.

tl,dr: you are being paid a comparatively low wage to live in one of the most expensive areas of the UK, if you want to move out you have to change one of those things.

you've chosen your career, and made choices about where you live
be thankful your parents support your choices in having you still live at home in your thirties.

Surely you’re able to make a fairly significant saving each month? How much do you have accumulated? Or are you living indulgently?

Are you coming back, @CantAffordIt ?

I am in a similar situation.

I earn around 35k with capacity for this to grow, and I have a healthy savings account, but I still feel I wouldn’t be able to afford to move out.

No, I don't think so. I've explained my circumstances, and had some quite rude replies saying that I'm entitled, despite not knowing all of my personal circumstances. I've decided not to come to Mumsnet for advice anymore.

Depending on your contributions to the bills whilst living with your parents you could be saving a healthy amount each year to increase your deposit which will open up more accessible rates based on a lower LTV.

You need to be proactive and come up with a solution to work around your income op, short term is saving like hell and long term looking at a change of career or additional training/ second job.

It can be done but it won't be easy, Nothing worth having ever is.

I don’t blame you OP. Seems this thread is full of people from bumfuck-nowhere up north where a detached house costs 50k. They just don’t understand.

Oh right. Answering how much of a deposit you had would probably have given you some useful answers though.

Your circumstances are that you don't make enough money and you're in an essentially dead end job with no hope for financial advancement. You can do something about that. You're only 30, single, with no kids. If you want your independence badly enough, you'll have to find a way to make it possible.

I AM from bumfuck-nowhere up North and even I don’t recognise half of the advice on here.

@CantAffordIt I understand but also think that most people have been asking how much deposit you have saved & you've avoided that. Ofc you don't have to share financial info, but it is hard to advise on options without that!!

If you were just looking to have a rant about house prices etc, that's all fine, but I think people thought you were looking for advice but not giving enough detail x

Why should op move up north if she grew up in the south and has a job, family and friends there. Surely if everyone did that it would inflate prices up north and no doubt people would be whinging at that. It's difficult but she could afford house share or small property just outside London with a lot of savings.

1. she doesn't have to move 'up north' specifically, the UK isn't split into 'the north' and the South East there's a lot of places that aren't "bumfuck nowhere" but also not completely extortionate. I have no idea why people think it's utterly unacceptable to suggest people move out of London and their 'support system' to afford property (if that's what they want) but completely normal for people to move TO London for work.
   People move away from their birthplace all the time. It's 2024, not 1554, we don't have to live in the same village we were born in all our lives.

2. She's living in a much more expensive than average area earning a lower than average wage and wants to live alone, it's common sense that most people couldn't afford those exact circumstances, so if she also can't, she either needs to make some changes or accept where she is.

I wouldn't post here OP.
Always someone demanding that you should move into a flatshare as it's super cheap and while you are there you can save for a deposit. Only on MN would your salary be described as 'low' as well. It's near enough the average wage in the UK and you are doing amazing at 30 to be on that.
I know loads of women who earn nowhere near that amount but their partner does so they have been able to move. Nobody judges them but they do us. I get it totally and will message you.