To feel so frustrated that I can't afford to move out of my parents' house?

[CantAffordIt]

I'm single and earn £32,000. My career does not have much progression, so I doubt my pay will ever increase by much more. I can't afford to move out of my parents' house. I feel like my life is on hold, I'm 30 and I can't afford to live alone and support myself. It's so embarrassing and frustrating.

I don't meet the affordability criteria for renting a 1-bedroom flat (£1000-£1200/month) or buying one on shared ownership. I don't want to live in a house share because I feel like it is the same situation I am in now, but instead of sharing a kitchen/bathroom/lounge with family it will be with housemates.

I'm living at home to 'save up and move out' - but there's nothing to save up for really. It's not affordable on my salary, and I can't retrain as I have already used up all of my student finance.

I feel so hopeless, life feels very bleak.

So how much are you saving op? My DS is 23 and well on the way for a deposit on a house, has been working for 5 years and now on a degree apprenticeship. Did you go to University and have debts or straight to work?

In theory you should be able to save a lot every year.

I would hate to live with my mum, but hopefully your relationship is better. You're still quite young and you shouldn't feel embarrassed. Maybe what will happen is you will meet someone at one point you want to live with

Are you paying your parents mortgage and all their household bills?

Where roughly do you want to buy?

I earn less than you and have 2 children, car and mortgage. You just need to save the deposit. Are you paying rent to you parents? If not then you should be saving half of your take home pay, £1k - £1.2k a month. You'd have decent deposit in 2-3 years for a first time buy.

Thirty is still quite young by today's standards. For context, I was 37 when I was a first-time buyer back in 2011.

I know it's rubbish when you're craving your own place but it will happen eventually. Or you could move north?

Just thinking the rent you're looking at is insane. Where I live you could rent a nice 1 bedroom for 650

And there's a lot cheaper places in Birmingham for a 1 bed too. £550pcm on average

I'm in the South-East, and work in London. Nearly all jobs in my career field are in or around London.

I have tried to rent but I fail their affordability assessment. I have no debts, my credit score is perfect and I have some savings. Same with shared ownership, I failed their assessments despite being able to put down a deposit.

I did a mortgage assessment for an agreement in principle and my bank agreed to £118k, which isn't enough for anything in my area. The cheapest property is £180,000 for a studio.

I'll look at houseshares though.

My parents live in a council house, but I do contribute to bills and rent.

How much of a deposit have you saved? Being blunt I’m seeing this from the other angle at the moment and the person in question is quite happily spending money they should be saving while complaining they’ll never be able to move out. They want their cake and to eat it, living at home you should be saving. That’s not to say no fun money but it’s all relative

I've had trouble renting with agencies in the past. I've ended up just looking for private agreements on gumtree. You might find yourself paying a high deposit though

If the career has no progression and maxes out at 32k then it does not pay enough to warrant needing you near London. You can stick with this career and be poor for the rest of your life or choose something else.

You would literally be better off working in a supermarket in a cheaper part of the country.

A london based career path with such a low salary cap sounds like a slightly indulgent choice if I'm speaking honestly.

I'd retrain into something else. Anything else. Its not reasonable that jobs should expect to pay such low wages around london where cost of living is so high, people like you staying in those jobs on poor pay is how they get away with it. Don't do it, you are worth better.

Assuming you graduated at 22 & since then have been saving average of £1k/ month
£12k x 8 years = £96k deposit saved up

Your salary should qualify you for a mortgage of at least £100k so you rlly should be able to afford a 1 bed flat even if you're in the south east, or a bigger property at about £200k if elsewhere

Obviously I'm being a bit forward suggesting you have £96k saved up, but if you don't, that's the problem rather than your salary/ house prices. Presumably you have been putting away a significant sum while living at home tho?

It's normal for a single person to take until late 20s/ early 30s to buy a place. Mid to late 20s for a couple.

Do you mind sharing what career field/ industry you're in? Trying to think of one that ideally needs to be in/near London + caps at £32k. Unless you're set on being in the charity sector or something.

Someone here might be able to give tips on career moves/ jobs elsewhere that could be suitable x

It's quite common now for people to be living at home to their thirties and nothing to be embarrassed about considering the general economic circumstances - although you do feel that way and it is a pressure. Two in my neighbourhood were 34 and 37 when they moved out and got their own places with their partners. I knew someone who was living at home at the age of 39. He had a regular job, not the highest paid but secure and had a second source of earnings and really enjoyed the good life, going to restaurants, indulging his hobbies and having all the comforts and convenience of home. It depends how you look at it.

You sound quite downhearted but being realistic, all is not lost. You have a lot going for you. Use your advantages, don't give up hope and just feel dispirited. Have a plan and a hope. Save hard while you are at home, look for potential partners you could buy with or become a life partner, think of other sources of earnings. There's potential everywhere. You just need to look for it.

I'm in the charity sector outside of London and earn more than op, at mid-level, so it's not that! Possibly it's the NHS, or a creative industry or something.

Op, if you can get a mortgage for £118k and properties are around £180k, then you'll need the rest in deposits. On your salary with little outgoing you could save £60k in 3-4 years, less if you already have savings. Unless you have some massive hidden outgoings you've not mentioned, like full-time childcare?

You say you enquired into shared ownership - but owned by who ? as i understand there are 2 types, one is offered by the builders of / on new housing sites and the other is offered by social housing landlords.

OP, your take-home is about £2100 a month. If you contribute £500 a month to your parents, that leaves £1600. Assuming you pay £300 a month on travel, that still leaves £1300.

You have no children or pets. You could save £1,000 a month, more if you did a couple of evenings a week barmaiding, and then you would have your deposit.

Like most of us without wealthy parents, it requires a concerted effort for a few years, gritting your teeth and focusing just on getting that deposit together.

A quick Google tells me that Peabody ( whom I am sure I recognise as a Social Housing provider as i have heard of Peabody Estates and i guess they are the one and same ? ) have several shared ownership properties in / around London.
the very 1st one is : City Angel
City Road, Islington, EC1V
Studio and 1-bedroom Shared Ownership apartments in Zone 1
Shared Ownership min. 25% share
from £115,000
Reserve a new home with deposits from £11,500

which is right for your mortgage offer, tho I note it says from, and that is prob for a studio and not a one bed.
But if you have the deposit then it would be a step on the housing ladder.

and here is a rough guide to their terms/conditions re how much you earn

There are however, some general, over-arching criteria you will need to meet to qualify for the Shared Ownership scheme. The over-arching criteria for Shared Ownership eligibility is;

• You must be aged 18 or older.
• Your annual household income if buying outside of London must be less than £80,000.
• Your annual household income if buying in London must be less than £90,000.
• You will normally be a first time buyer or be in the process of selling your home. You must not own any other property at the time you buy your new home.
• You should not be able to afford to buy a home on the open market which is suitable for your housing needs.
• You must be able to show you are not in rent or mortgage arrears.
• You must be able to demonstrate that you have a good credit history (no County Court Judgements or bad debts) and can afford the costs and regular payments involved in buying a home.

but I have no idea how much rent would be charged !

tho I have now found this website
https://www.london.gov.uk/programmes-strategies/housing-and-land/homes-londoners/search/property/166-reed-house

and it says the following for this property:
Scheme
Shared ownership
Availability
For sale
Minimum share price from
£90,000 for a 30% share
Full price from
£300,000
Minimum deposit from
£4,500
Monthly rent from
£481
Bedrooms
1
Bathrooms
1
Features

• Balcony

I would look into shared ownership more fully.

As well as the mortgage you need to consider the rent on the part that you don't own and any service charges.

Properties For Sale in London | Rightmove

At the cheaper end of shared ownership search for "London" the mortgage/rent and service charge are adding up to about 1k each month - but it would be less if you can put a chunk of money down for the share that you buy.

Don't give up, keep saving and looking for opportunities. If you can get a two bed you could rent out a room to help you manage and be a bit more future proofed.

Maybe you could find one or two others in your industry with the same problem and look for a rental house together?

Maybe living with others your own age will be more fun?

Go for it.

The least fun will you being stuck in your parents house and having to take care of them in their dotage.

Spread your wings!