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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feeling up and down about this.

1 reply

Maloneyb · 11/08/2024 14:07

Long story short..

husband has a twin, who got married later than us and we were the first in his family to get married and start a family in that generation. It was years before anyone else got married and joined the family so being a couple was always taken the mick out of by the other cousins (pathetic i know). Now a fair few of them have partners/recently got married but are living in their own bubbles and enjoying the couples dates with other couples. We’re “ahead” in terms of, we have a child and another on the way - probably a good 8-9 years ahead in terms of “experience”. We got married younger than any of them.

my situation- youngest of 4. All siblings married with older kids and the moms are now getting their lives back after getting the kids through school etc. I’m probably 15 years behind them. But we have great relationships. Loving and strong.

im feeling so up and down about where we are at. And I’m not upset about what I’ve got. I have been incredibly blessed with my child and soon to be second, my husband for the most parts is great too.

im occasionally getting fomo. Not being able to go and do all the things these peers of ours are doing..
I feel for my dh as he’s much more social than me and isnt getting the invites to the nights out etc, probably because of where we are in our lives and where others are.

im sure its normal, and like I said i love my life and the blessings I have had. I wouldn’t change it. I’ve lost a lot and I wouldn’t ever be ungrateful for it. I love being a mom. I just don’t know how to deal with my up and down feelings about it all!
when we were newly married I wanted to hang out with the guys - like I would in my family but the family I’ve married into weren’t so receptive! It was hard being the first married woman in their family.
we spend some great quality time with my family but dh’s family always find issue with it..

I suppose I’m asking for some reassurance or own examples where this is normal or if I need to get over it 😅 probably the latter but I feeeeel a lot more than I probably should.

OP posts:
5128gap · 11/08/2024 14:17

I had my first DC ten years before anyone in my circle and have always been at least that decade ahead, including taking my DGC to the same school one friend took her DD to! I found that I had look outside that circle for same life stage friends, but still connected with others for shared interests. Could you get babysitting so you could have some nights out with the couples?

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