To be annoyed at PIL's comments

[tiredoutmumma24]

PIL's are lovely people and would do anything for their grandchildren (DSS 7 and DS 6 months). However their unnecessary comments are getting to me. They are currently staying with us for another week but it's things like:

MIL: "does DSS get hid away in his bedroom all day everyday?" where in fact DSS had had a friend round that morning then played football in the garden with DH before going to watch TV in his room and have a snack for half hour before we were going out swimming.

MIL: "DSS said that DH drives fast". DH and DSS had been talking about sports cars and DH had said he prefers X to Y and Z because they're faster. We live in a city and hardly drive because the traffic is so bad, we haven't been anywhere recently that DH could drive more than 40mph!

FIL: to DS "I heard you whining in the night, were you letting everyone know you were there". I don't need to be reminded that my LO is awake at night, feeding off of me to go back to sleep. Especially when I'm then up early anyway and FIL sleeps in until at least 11am everyday!

Sorry for the rant! Should I just let these go and breathe a sigh of relief when they finally leave or say something back. Annoyingly MIL once she's had a dig at DH to me will always end with saying "but don't say I said anything". She seems to want to rile me up but won't confront DH with these ridiculous sorts of things!

All of these things are literally just conversation, you are making an issue out of a non issue.

Annoyingly MIL once she's had a dig at DH to me will always end with saying "but don't say I said anything". She seems to want to rile me up but won't confront DH with these ridiculous sorts of things!

I hate it when people do this. Make a joke of it and say she should have got you to sign a non disclosure agreement before she told you, now you can’t guarantee whether you will blab or not - big smile- “what’s it worth?”

as you've said, you've had enough of the visit - everything is irritating - and they are maybe trying to make conversation.
It can be hard to think of much to say to a six month old 😉

Tell them you think it’s time they went home. Do not have them in your home, stay at theirs in future. Then you can go for an hour, providing it’s not a flight away.

Or if you can’t manage that, whenever they start talking about someone. Just say tell them not me. It usually shuts people up.

7 is quite young for a child to have a TV in their bedroom. Were they annoyed that he wasn’t spending time with them instead?

What she says is irrelevant

Every time respond with "we don't keep secrets from each other, of course I will tell him you said X"

She's trying to push a wedge between you with that comment. Then months down the line will be saying "well i did say that to tired months ago...."

I agree with PPs that you’re taking things to heart. It doesn’t sound malicious at all. She’s taking an interest in you and your DCs. Being together 24/7 for a week or so will be tricky.

Not necessarily. I’d say it could be a girls together having a bit of a moan about son/husband.
Mns are soo quick to overreact at times!

Agree with this.
I find it hard to deal with my ILs for longer than an hour 🤣 good on you for having a good rship with yours but honestly, an extra week may be what’s causing you the aggro.
the comments would annoy me too - but I would just put it down to lack of understanding.

Yep.

Lack of understanding

Ageist much?

Clarify and ask them what they mean by saying these things.
So for this one:
MIL: "does DSS get hid away in his bedroom all day everyday?"
You would say "Why do you say that Jean? He's been playing with his friend for the past X hours and outside too. He's just taking a breather now that Friend has gone home. Just because he's not spending time with you, doesn't mean that he's cooped up in his bedroom. He's quite an active boy"
For this one:
MIL: "DSS said that DH drives fast".
You would say "Where did you hear that Jean? Was it when DSS and DH were discussing motorsports and fast cars and you misheard what they were saying perhaps?"
For this one :
FIL: to DS "I heard you whining in the night, were you letting everyone know you were there"
You should say "Whining? Did I hear you say that you heard your grandchild whining, Dick?? We don't whine in this house. Not sure what you thought you heard but I'll be sure to leave some earplugs by your bedside table so that whatever you think you heard last night, you won't hear tonight, right?"

You need to get your DH more involved in these conversations because until the other partner hears what their parents are saying to their partner, a lot of this type of feather ruffling doesn't impact them and it really should.
So maybe a bit more of "DH - did you hear DS whining last night because your father said he was?" and "DH - You won't believe that your mother thinks that you drive fast because of something DSS said. You barely even reach the speed limit most of the time!"

It doesn't matter how mild if its affecting you.
Op just gently push back so it's not worth the comments.

did I say anything about age? 🙄

I have a mil who makes sly digs sometimes. I find playing dumb works-

"Is ds always in his room?"
"What do you mean he's been in there 30 min?"

The car comment I would have just explained context.

The sleep comment I'd have ignored.

The bf comment I would have said "no still doing both, it's going really well"

Honestly they sound mild written down BUT when we have had PIL to stay I can find myself just being annoyed by every little thing, so I do sympathise.

'Lack of understanding' implied it

YANBU but 7 is very young to have a TV in his room. I’d be surprised about that, but your choice. DS12 isn’t allowed any screens in room at all, no TV, console, phone, IPad. All downstairs only. I think that’s something people have fairly strong views on, the rest is small stuff though. Ignore.

Absolutely doesn’t. You assumed that

Lol.

husbands family, husbands problem. The ‘don’t tell hubby I said that’ I’d squash quickly with ‘oh we don’t keep secrets in our marriage - but if you have a beef with the man YOU raised, please take it up with him’

Yeah. I have PIL coming sometime soon. I’m already dreading it. Especially MIL loves getting a jab or two in like a high school mean girl. FIL is lovely, and all they do is put him down and ‘tease’ him. It makes me sick.

I don't read anything malicious into any of those things, including the fourth one that you added. There are very simple, pleasant and reasonable responses to them all, which some people have already suggested. Nothing to get wound up about at all.