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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Need perspective on this

2 replies

uptobedfordshire · 11/08/2024 09:40

Was I BU? I feel bad.

I’ve had Covid (has given me PTSD from previous hospitalised pneumonia). Awful symptoms. I’ve had the kids for 5 days as DH working and helping his parent. He’s been doing more chores the last day or two which is great as he knew I was struggling. He really pulls his weight anyway.

Yesterday he asked me if I wanted to play cricket with the kids in the garden so I could be more included in playing. I was doing the laundry at the time and was really rough and coughing up so much I’d been choking and said I could do with help with the chores first before playing and I can really only do quiet/sit down games. He huffed and appeared hurt. He said you’re saying I’m not helping and I’ve been helping you loads recently. I said can’t you tell running around in the garden might not be something I’m up to at the moment? He said he had no idea I still felt rough. I’ve tested negative but I still look awful. I wish I’d just said not now thanks but it turned into me being cross with him.
We are OK now. It was more of a misunderstanding with him meaning to do something nice but completely misreading the room? I argued with him but I’m exhausted and emotional with being ill and I didn’t want to be huffed at for saying no to something he was suggesting that was so off the mark.

OP posts:
Lmnop22 · 11/08/2024 11:20

I don’t really get it, you snapped because you’re ill and he snapped back because he had had good intentions in asking. You’ve since made up and been fine. Obviously it’s never ideal to snap at your partner (or anyone!) but it happens when frustrated or ill and it’s done now.

Don’t feel bad and just make sure you let him know you appreciate his help with extra chores at some point or make him a cold drink after he’s been playing actively outside with the kids and take the kids to play a quiet sit down game somewhere else to give him a little peace? A little gesture of appreciation is all this situations needs.

Mrsttcno1 · 11/08/2024 11:23

Lmnop22 · 11/08/2024 11:20

I don’t really get it, you snapped because you’re ill and he snapped back because he had had good intentions in asking. You’ve since made up and been fine. Obviously it’s never ideal to snap at your partner (or anyone!) but it happens when frustrated or ill and it’s done now.

Don’t feel bad and just make sure you let him know you appreciate his help with extra chores at some point or make him a cold drink after he’s been playing actively outside with the kids and take the kids to play a quiet sit down game somewhere else to give him a little peace? A little gesture of appreciation is all this situations needs.

100% this

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