I blocked my sons father.

[Damselindistres]

I blocked my sons father as all he does is send volatile, degrading, offensive, aggressive absurd on voice notes via what's app. He has my email if he would like to officially arrange contact with me to see him son(which he doesn't I don't think).
He says he wouldn't chase me to see him (yet he chases his girlfriends if needed - in the past!)
This lovely gent is an absolute tool to say the least.
He kicked off royally in front of my child on Tuesday evening where he proceeded to vandalise my car in front of my child.
Of course this is the reason I blocked him. Anyone familiar with family law? If custody goes to court, could he use it against me that I blocked him?

Thanks.

Keep all messages as evidence and call the police and report the car vandalism and the voice notes for harassment

I'm not familiar but the messages he sends would probably be useful to you in court so id unblock for that and screenshot bad ones. It probably would t help your case to keep him blocked. Also keep a diary of these events so again, in court you have evidence of impactful behaviour. I believe there are parenting apps that you can use for contact whoch messages can't be deleted. That would probably be better for you too.

I think you'll be ok as email is available to him.

I also blocked my exh but I got a separate phone and number for him. Hope this was different as he was seeing ds weekly. I used to just switch it in during contact.

Exh was furious that I had another phone and said I needed to explain to the judge about it. This made me laugh as I told him I'd be delighted to explain why I needed a separate number because he would ring me at 4am and send vile messages 🙈

I think if he's damaged your car you should report to the police. Is he dangerous? All evidence of harassment is worth logging.

I can't have that each day. He sends me around 5 minute voice notes blocks and unblocks text then tries manipulating me to apologise etc. he's a mine f**k. I have two children (one his) to take care of and keeping up with keeping record of his abuse is a full time job in itself

I'd be letting them police know about the car. Also ring and log incidents with 101
Too so it's logged and you have reference numbers in case you need it for evidence
Good luck

Oh gosh. He sounds a little similar. It's appalling but thank goodness we are out.

He is dangerous and he's made made it clear if the police got involved it would not be good for me🙃.
So I think it is best to leave for now. He is ridiculous but not the first time he vandalised my car and property. He has also broken my new iPhone 15 pro max phone I am paying £80 a month for so now it's left me with one of the first iPhones made to use instead! so I don't want him anywhere near me.

Would they need to come out and see me or go out and see hun?

Block him on your phone so he can't phone or text you and archive him on WhatsApp. He can send what he likes, you won't get notifications of it other than a little number on the archive tab and it's muted so you won't hear it.

Report the vandalism, export all WhatsApp contact including media so you have a record of his harassment and otherwise ignore him.

Omg you need to report him and his threats.

Oh my gosh thank you so much I never knew I could export from what's app! I have just done that now as soon as you said thank you thank you thank you

Definitely report to police. Vandalism, verbal abuse, especially in front of your dc are the things a family court would want to know about.
Message back calmly “ I”m asking you to stop harassing me” “ there is no need for you to be verbally aggressive ” that sort of tone and obviously keep any replies.

If the police got involved it would not be good for him is what he means!!!!

Absolutely report the vandalism and harassment to the police for your own and your childs safety. As others have said keep the evidence but try not to engage with him otherwise. The police may also be able to signpost you to other agencies who can help support you as well. Good luck.

As frightening as this is, there is more than one reason to go to the police. Should you need a solicitor, then to qualify for legal aid you need evidence for domestic abuse. This would go someway towards that.

Also, consider if you need a restraining order? Again, you may need a solicitor for this.

And of course, the simple matter that if he is truly dangerous then perhaps you need to tell the police so they will see a pattern and respond. God forbid he escalates but do take care.

I was afraid of my ex but his threats were less explicit. It might be good that your ex is more obvious in a way!

I blocked my ex 10 years ago and he now has to go through my mum, even now all these years later. You really need to report him each time he gets violent, do not engage with him any more as it is feeding him if you have a person he can go through it will help, scary at first because of all their threats will stop. Go to the police show them your phone and the messages explain about the phone he broke and what he has done to you car, he will be arrested and you will more than likely get a restraining order, I even know someone that was put on tag because he was sending unwanted messages to his ex. Oh and the judge didn’t bat an eyelid when she knew my reason for blocking him on everything she just told me to make my son available every other Saturday at 11.00am for a 15min phone call with him so he got unblocked for that time only. Good luck and please do yourself and your children a favour and go to the police. Xx

I have just emailed and advised him I expect him to contact via email or via a family members if he would like to see his son and I expect him to pay each month for his child. Let's see his reply. I am so anxious. I am filled with dread and fear because. I just know the abuse that I am going to get back.

If he chooses to email and it’s abusive then only let him go through a family member and change your email. My ex can’t contact me on any platform, he is blocked on everything and my god has it made my life so much calmer.