Calling reverse! It drives me mad and literally makes no sense

[Hellostrawberries]

I mean first of all, in 8 years on mumsnet I've literally never seen anyone admit to posting a reverse so who knows, maybe it's not even a thing. But assuming it could happen, in the posts which get people calling reverse it makes no sense at all. As far as I'm aware a potential reverse is when OP say has a disagreement with someone and suspects they themselves are in the wrong. They don't fancy getting their arse handed to them so they post pretending to be the other person. But I keep seeing people call reverse on posts where it's obvious that OP is in the wrong. And saying things like 'this has to be a reverse, no one could be that stupid'. Ok so you're saying that a perfectly lovely OP is offended by a friend's shitty behaviour and wants some support. All they have to do is start a thread giving their perspective and get loads of supportive replies. But they'd choose to post pretending to be the bad guy and get a pasteing instead!

It's a mumsnet fad.

A while back it was the term 'gaslighting' that got mentioned in every other thread.

People seem bored of that now and go for the 'reverse' trend.

It'll soon be old news and something else will be the fad mention.

Is THIS a reverse?

I agree with Honest mistake. I think people believe they are being subjective when they post from the other point of view - but of course they're not. This leads to posts where people are describing 'themselves' behaving in such an outrageous way that a 'reverse' seems a more obvious conclusion than someone entirely lacking in self awareness.

They don't particularly bother me, they're just a bit pointless. Same as when people describe a falling out between them and friends and ascribe everyone a letter and don't say which one they are. But it's always obvious which one they are!

Just give it up and post from your own point of view.

I've done it before.

I posted the situation first from my POV and got ripped to shreds and said I was completely unreasonable.

A few months later, I posted it as a reverse and everyone ripped the ' OP ' to shreds too.

Sometimes, on some topics - people just want to rip the OP to shreds. No matter what is actually said.

Mum screaming F you at another car outside nursery http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/5076521-mum-screaming-f-you-at-another-car-outside-nursery

I thought, if I post it from my own point of view - me being the one that shouted at the other car, I would just be called out for being disgusting. I was the lady putting the child in the car and being yelled at by a passing car. I then responded by shouting F you at the car. 😩

I felt really bad about what I did and I was genuinely quite worried that the mum was going go complain to the nursery. We did get emails before about people's parking. I felt bad about what I did and about myself. I wanted to see, if people thought I was a monster or if it could be chalked up to a bad day.

I really thought that if I posted it from my own point of view, people would just completely slate me. I didn't post this one from my own POV though, ever. Just the reverse.

Yes it's stupid. And most just jump on the band wagon once someone else has said it and actually like you said there's nothing what so ever to indicate this is what the op is doing.. literally every post could be a reverse according to some ppl.. even this one 🤣🤣

Just wondering why did you post you're thinking of reporting it to the nursery if it was you and you made a genuine mistake. To me it's one thing doing a reverse it's another writing complete lies and writing stuff just to see what ppl will say . 🤔

@Sunsetbeachhouse because I was worried that's what she was going to do, even though she didn't say she was going to do anything. That was my concern. I thought I was going to see an email in my inbox from the nursery scolding parents for shouting outside the nursery. I didn't think it was that far fetched that someone would do that ! It was also the way she looked at me, which made me think she might report the incident.

I was actually thinking of posting the same thing today OP! The last 3 or 4 threads I’ve been really invested in there have been posters suggesting it’s a reverse within a few posts. I find it frustrating too as I’ve very rarely read any posts where the OP has admitted to it being a reverse. Certainly not in comparison to the number of posters suggesting it. And also I hate this thing of posters saying ‘first to call a reverse.’ I find it really infantile & like you say the posters doing it think they’re so clever.

I dont if posting reveses is against the rules but posters who think they've spotted one are as tedious as the troll hunters who think they are oh so clever and have to say what they think on the thread despite no troll hunting being probably the most widely known rule

Gold stars all round, not

But they write it assuming that the other person's reasoning is rubbish.
So something like:

My neighbour's asking me ever so nicely if I would cut the brambles back from my front garden. She was ever so polite about it, but I don't want to because I hate gardening. They've always bent over backwards for us, even moving the pots from the Front garden because we were worried we'd trip over them, and painting the fence the colour we wanted..
I know they're now growing into their path and it's scratched their car yesterday, but I don't care.

When the reality is that the op has constantly moaned about everything, the brambles are actually one runner that is nowhere near the boundary, the moved pots were left half in the neighbour's path, the fence colour was a matter of dispute (not the op's fence) and the neighbour finally snapped that they wouldn't be immediately dealing with the bramble when the op ambushed them as they came back from their mother's funeral...

Loads of people admit reverse posting.

Often because the want people to agree the party that is ‘wrong’ is wrong. Or because they want to see people talk about stupid/awful/wrong this person is. But they don’t want to admit they are just posting to enjoy other people talking shit about someone.

It’s an anonymous site so they don’t care if someone thinks it’s them. They are still vindicated.

and it’s always weird, because you can bet the person they are pretending to be will have a different version of the story.

That my point. You have no idea if the other mother was thinking about complaining to the nursery.

Most of the thread is about the complaint and that’s entirely made up in your head. Not hers.

Had she told it from her point of view it would have likely been a different story

Is this a reverse, OP?