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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell him he can drive himself if he wants to get his car???

20 replies

Aggyagro · 11/08/2024 00:35

😡Long story short hubby is completely obsessed quite into cricket. During the season at least one evening and one full weekend day per week. Was the same when our dcs were growing up. He recently injured his index finger fielding and had to have a pin put in, had to go back to a and e because he went straight back to playing as soon as it was removed and it reacted badly. I am not interested and at any social events he doesn’t make any attempt to integrate me so I’m often left standing about like a lemon so I have long since given up going. Was once told it would just be the ‘blokes’ going to one big night out a couple of years ago only to find out that in fact all the wives and girlfriends had gone too. He came back from that one at about 2 am, plastered.
Today was back to it again and has now come in completely drunk. Had a lift home no doubt and now will ask me for a lift to the clubhouse in the morning to collect his car which he left there. He can’t cycle because of the index finger still being achey diddums. I feel like getting up nice and early and taking myself off for the day and leaving him to it. Is this petty of me???🤔

OP posts:
StormingNorman · 11/08/2024 00:39

Don’t be a party pooper. How can he drive to get his car? He can’t drive two cars back!

MrsTerryPratchett · 11/08/2024 00:41

StormingNorman · 11/08/2024 00:39

Don’t be a party pooper. How can he drive to get his car? He can’t drive two cars back!

Experts are now saying men can get cabs! I know, amazing...

Aggyagro · 11/08/2024 00:41

StormingNorman · 11/08/2024 00:39

Don’t be a party pooper. How can he drive to get his car? He can’t drive two cars back!

😁 good point - I picked a bad title there - just meant that he should sort himself out maybe and get his own transport instead of expecting me to do it for him!

OP posts:
TeaAndTattoos · 11/08/2024 00:41

YANBU he’s the one who to chose to get so rotten drunk and roll in early hours of the morning so he can figure out how to get his car back. Make sure your up nice and early and have your phone on silent make yourself completely unreachable and enjoy spending the day doing whatever you want.

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 11/08/2024 00:42

So all the other wives etc were there but he didn't want you there. I think that speaks real volumes, I'm sorry.

HumphreyCushionintheHouse · 11/08/2024 00:42

The answer you’re looking for is day drinking. Start nice and early.

Aggyagro · 11/08/2024 00:43

HumphreyCushionintheHouse · 11/08/2024 00:42

The answer you’re looking for is day drinking. Start nice and early.

😁

OP posts:
PullTheBricksDown · 11/08/2024 00:43

Yeah either go out early or develop something like migraine or dizziness where you can't drive. I assume he has some great qualities that make up for being an arse about cricket?

mrsfollowill · 11/08/2024 00:44

If he is shitfaced at this time he won't be fit to drive until late tomorrow afternoon.
I wouldn't make myself available automatically. Go off -do what ever you want to do and let him ask nicely late on. If you happen to get in from your day out and have a wine or two then what a shame he will have to make other arrangements.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 11/08/2024 00:45

Weird that you’re standing like a lemon with so many other wives and girlfriends. I think that does say a little more about you than him.

But separately, whatever, he can sort out picking up his car.

Aggyagro · 11/08/2024 00:46

PullTheBricksDown · 11/08/2024 00:43

Yeah either go out early or develop something like migraine or dizziness where you can't drive. I assume he has some great qualities that make up for being an arse about cricket?

Well to be frank I’m not so sure any more! Beginning to get the ick, I think!!!!

OP posts:
Aggyagro · 11/08/2024 00:49

saltinesandcoffeecups · 11/08/2024 00:45

Weird that you’re standing like a lemon with so many other wives and girlfriends. I think that does say a little more about you than him.

But separately, whatever, he can sort out picking up his car.

I don’t think I was clear about that, the event with loads of wives and girlfriends was the one I wasn’t asked to. Other times where I have been more lemony were when I was along to a smaller event or to watch etc. Quite a while ago now as I’ve stopped wasting my time on it frankly.

OP posts:
saltinesandcoffeecups · 11/08/2024 00:53

So you’ve quit wasting your time on it but are pissy you’re not invited?

StormingNorman · 11/08/2024 00:55

Aggyagro · 11/08/2024 00:41

😁 good point - I picked a bad title there - just meant that he should sort himself out maybe and get his own transport instead of expecting me to do it for him!

Isn’t this a normal thing couples do when one or both of you have a drink? Leave the car and pick it up the next day?

Biggaybear · 11/08/2024 01:20

StormingNorman · 11/08/2024 00:55

Isn’t this a normal thing couples do when one or both of you have a drink? Leave the car and pick it up the next day?

This.

Doesn't sound like much of a relationship. You seem to dispise his hobby (which I suspect he was doing way before you got married) and his friends.

Haven't you heard of the phrase...."do as you would be done by"

Aggyagro · 11/08/2024 01:26

I think it would just be nice to be asked. To go along to events and to give lifts, rather than it just to be expected. DH made no effort to make me comfortable when I did make the effort to go along to matches and events in the past, and ignores me if he does ask me along (kids found it the same and it put them off cricket they said they didn’t understand why he couldn’t be as involved with them normally). Had no idea he would be out this late or coming back plastered. And he did not play when we were married, took it up after. I did make an effort initially but he showed no interest in any hobby of mine at all - even refused to come along to a music event I was in - so yes I guess do as you would be done by is a good call!

OP posts:
Edingril · 11/08/2024 01:34

Wouldn't he still be over the limit?

Powderblue1 · 11/08/2024 04:18

Aggyagro · 11/08/2024 01:26

I think it would just be nice to be asked. To go along to events and to give lifts, rather than it just to be expected. DH made no effort to make me comfortable when I did make the effort to go along to matches and events in the past, and ignores me if he does ask me along (kids found it the same and it put them off cricket they said they didn’t understand why he couldn’t be as involved with them normally). Had no idea he would be out this late or coming back plastered. And he did not play when we were married, took it up after. I did make an effort initially but he showed no interest in any hobby of mine at all - even refused to come along to a music event I was in - so yes I guess do as you would be done by is a good call!

I get your point here. My DH plays too and he would always call me after a match and let me know he is going for a quick drink or deciding to make a night of it (he wouldn't actually do this but my point is he would ask me if this is ok) so I can understand you being annoyed when he just showed up drunk.

Is your relationship generally ok? Sounds like bigger issues than just cricket. Is he normally a selfish person?

Catza · 11/08/2024 08:10

I generally don't object driving my partner in these circumstances but he always makes sure he takes me out for a nice breakfast in town to say thank you.

Sharptonguedwoman · 11/08/2024 08:14

saltinesandcoffeecups · 11/08/2024 00:45

Weird that you’re standing like a lemon with so many other wives and girlfriends. I think that does say a little more about you than him.

But separately, whatever, he can sort out picking up his car.

Why be unpleasant?

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