Narcissist ex is now being nice to me - AIBU to be concerned?

[Pinksparkles84]

So long story short, I was with a classic narc for 10 years. The final straw was him getting into trouble with the police and keeping it all from me (along with hiding an IVA, sex texting an ex, baiting me, telling me to drive myself to hospital as I was feeling suicidal because of his treatment of me and him saying it was unfair on him and our family that I was being that way and then being physically abusive).

Ex has DS 3 nights a week and the majority of tue time plonks DS in front of his tablet, lets him play Roblox for hours on end and watches YouTube (which he’s not allowed to watch when hes with me). I would say that we are parallel parenting and I have let go the fact that all he does with DS is play computer games all day. They often have a takeaway pizza and I’m sure that ex is drinking when he has DS.

We arranged childcare and I had to go to the CSA for help towards DS costs as ex didn’t agree to give me anything.

I asked him if he could meet for handover elsewhere and he was very accommodating saying whatever was easiest for me. He’s also been texting before pick ups to ask if he needs to do dinner for DS when the arrangement is that whomever has DS in the evening to give DS his dinner. Recently DS and I had Covid and ex was texting to ask how ‘we’ were. I would write back to say how DS was doing and nothing about me. Ex said in the past that he wanted us to be able to communicate better as I hadn’t told him that me and DS were looking for a flat when I lived with my parents and started looking even though nothing had been agreed (I’ve suggested a communication book and he said that’s a good idea but never followed up on it). I can’t look him in the eye when I see him as there’s too many bad memories there. He made out that I wa la the one in the wrong for not telling him things (how we everything I need to tell him I put on our parenting app or on a group WhatsApp with my mum and his mum).

AIBU to be suspicious of his intentions or am I just overthinking it and should let it go as maybe he’s mellowed.

Don't let your guard down. They don't change, and he'll suck you back in and then bite you.

Just keep your distance and boundaries in place.

Let me give you some advice from someone who unfortunately has experience with narcissistic people: I grew up in a family of them, and got trapped with one (I won't say relationship because it's never that with one of those creatures) when I was 21. Don't be fooled by the sudden 'nice', they haven't changed, it's a classic abusive tactic to keep control and draw you back in.
I would say, if you haven't already, get some therapy and work on building your own self-esteem back up. Because believe me, you'll then spot on a mile off.

As per other responses, expect nothing good, ever, from this person. Keep all communication direct, brief and business-like. Maintain your boundaries.

There is a constant desire to control and manipulate with these people, and they can take a notion to behave differently at any time if they think it’ll be effective.

However, there’s no point in being too stressed about this polite facade. It may be they are trying to manipulate you, it may be that someone else has entered their sights and become the bad person for now (but you might be the worst in the world again next week), it may be that they see an advantage to being in your good books, or perhaps they’ve met someone else and want to look like a great Dad. Just keep your distance and be grateful if you’re being left alone for now.

Move onto a court approved parenting app.

Something is brewing.

I'm with every one else.

Don't let your guard down.