Supporting ASD child to start school

[Redwineandcheeseplease01]

As the title says, please could anyone give any tips of how to support my ASD diagnosed son when he starts reception at mainstream school in September? Or what to expect?! (Has EHCP, will have a 1:1 and start on a reduced timetable. I asked for transition visits to visit his new classroom and teacher weekly for the last few weeks of term when picking my older child up)
I’m feeling so anxious about how it’s all going to go 😬 His behaviour is all over the place at the moment and I’m getting more anxious by the day 😢

Could you start him very very slowly? So on the first day he goes in to see his TA and have a play in a quiet room away from others, then look around the main classroom when the other children are at break or lunch and play in there for a while, the go home.

On the second day he could try going in at a quieter time, story time or something and see how he gets on.

My DS freaks out when they say things like “tidy up now, it’s lunchtime”. He doesn’t like having a sudden unexpected change of task. His teacher gives ten minutes notice of a task change which helps a lot. Teachers may not realise this is required or understand why it’s important to not just drop things unexpectedly on autistic kids.

They’ve put a schedule on the wall, with symbols which non readers can identify. So the kids can see it’s reading time, then lunch, then painting, etc. Helps a lot. Again teachers may not think of this or understand why it’s important for autistic kids to know in advance what they’re going to be doing.

Use a visual schedule at home (generally)..
Countdown on the schedule to when school starts, it's really important that autistic children know when things are going to happen.
Practice wearing the uniform or elements of it.
Practice the toilet.
Depending what he will have for lunch, do trial runs with food/lunch box/opening packaging etc.
Use routines at home such as tidy up time, put coat away, washing hands. Sit at the table to eat.
Practise the route to school. Go different ways if possible to avoid the inevitable meltdown on the days you need to go left rather than right out of the gate.

For after school, expect chaos try and building transition activity but don't try and run errands to a shop or anything.

I would take a drink and a substantial snack, sun glasses and noise cancelling headphones / favourite music and give them to him as you pick him up to reduce sensory overload on the way home. When I used to pick DD up I'd bend down to her height, give her a tight hug, tell her how glad I was to see her and ask If she wanted to chat now or later and if it was later I kept my mouth shut. If you have a local park all the better and make it a routine to go after school and get all his energy and frustrations out, kicking a ball and running around then he may open up as you eat / have a drink.

Obviously if it becomes routine you need to be prepared to go in all weathers.

With my NT kid, I started organising the body clock a few months out. She woke early anyway so that wasn’t a problem but we ate breakfast at an appropriate time, dressed, teeth and hair etc.

I knew what time recess was so we had a sit down snack then with a good drink and a trip to the toilet. The same at lunch and again at finishing time. Even if we were out, I tried to keep to the schedule.

I read on here about feeding them after school so I met her for years with apple. I think it gave DC a few quiet moments to centre herself before getting home or whatever.

Kids can say that they are hungry. They don’t recognise so easily being thirsty. Get a good drink into them after school. It makes a big difference later in the day.

Have you had contact with the school? A PP mentioned pictograms. Getting the same ones for home may help as standardisation = familiarity. Thus one less thing to learn there.

Agree with pp, calm after school as much as possible, it's very common for it all to go a bit pear shaped after school. Don't sign him up for playdates and extra curricular stuff.

Yes, play dates we did but only at weekends. Even now she's at secondary DD has a bath and 'washes away' school on a Friday night, Saturday mornings are a quiet affair and then she'll do something with me or her friends in the pm. Sundays are sport training in the morning and then calm evenings.

School holidays plan nothing for the first Saturday and Sunday or the last Sunday and try to keep to the same routine of waking and eating.

It depends on his level of understanding . My son has very little understanding, and is non verbal. He’s 25 now so been through many transitions with education! When he started reception we were already doing a home therapy program so he attended that year just two days a week with his home tutor who he adored. During the summer before his school 1:1 came to the house to sit in on his sessions and also to get to know him so by the time the year started he was already familiar with her and she with him. Over that first year his 1:1 gradually took over from his home tutor . We worked up to 5 full days and he was attending full time by January without his home tutor. Since reception he’s changed schools and 1:1’s and classrooms many times and deals with it really well, we usually just do very basic social story. My anxiety and fear though is always unfounded! He finished education at 23 but I do remember the stress of it all.

If your son’s TA can meet him before hand that would be helpful. Also social stories can be helpful too.

Some good ideas here and it sounds like you have done a lot of helpful things already.

Maybe start using a 'now and next' board at home (if not already) as that is likely to be what they do at school. You could give them his one from home so it is familiar. If not already, get used to wearing some noise-cancelling headphones which can go into school. Practise uniform to PE kit and back, if that will be needed. Practise eating out of a lunch box, including any packet opening needed.

Ask for a sandtimer so he can see the 10 minutes