Would this give you the ick!

[spanieleyes22]

Dd went to visit boyfriend they both 19. He has a single bed in his room but there is a double bed in the spare room. The spare room isn't used and needed decluttering which bf didn't get around to despite having the summer "off" and not getting a job. His mum gave up her double bed and slept in his single. Dd and bf slept in his mother's bed/bedroom.

Dd has major ick now and I think I'd be the same. She's very sad as she loved him til she saw him in his home and the way he interacts with his mother, apart from the icky part of sleeping in his mothers bedroom with all her personal things etc.

I don't think that would give me the ick.

Can't see me giving up my bed so my son can have a shag

That would definitely give me the ick! Lazy sod, can't be bothered to make things nice for his girlfriend, so lets him DM give up her bed for them, YUK!

It depends. How was he interacting with his mother?

Urgh. I hope they didn't DTD!! Major ick.

Absolutely would give me the ick and I would bin him off 🤣

Oh who cares, theyre 19, the whole thing is a shit show at that age.

Don’t get involved just go along with her opinions and encourage her to value her worth. So if something gives her “the ick” don’t challenge it.

It's weird. Almost anywhere else would have been less weird.

Imagine a mother giving up her bed so her son can shag his girlfriend...

No she refused to do anything in the mother's bedroom which made me proud of her lol!!!!

She just found him very immature and felt he wasn't considerate of his mum. Obvs she was prob mothering him but he just went along with it. Eg lifts all the time . She couldn't pinpoint it.

I mean how much weight did you put on your dh family in your decision to marry him. I wish I had put more weight on it. I didn't get on with them or them with me and I always used to think he was "different" until I realized he was just like them . I hated the way he behaved at his parents home. We split now . I did start to see him in a bad light partly cos of that. Other things too of course!

He sounds like a man child.

He’ll likely swap mummy for wife-mummy.

ICK.

I'm afraid so 🙈

She said he was very different at uni

Why didn't your daughter refuse and walk out? I hope she breaks up with him and chooses someone who is more respectful and proactive with an assertive mother who has some boundaries! Shit behaviour all around.

I think it crossed her mind but she was a long way from home in a strange city and she arrived late so...

Ugh, yes.

I remember going to a boyfriend's house for the first time, his parents and brother weren't in. He only had a single bed, but there was a double in the spare room.

We had sex in it, and I remember - even over 20 years later! - how I told him to change the sheets. He didn't. But he did tell me later on that his mother hadn't realised and put a guest in there [vomit].

He was so nasty. I really don't know why I stayed with him, he was the type who would dig around in his arsehole and wipe his fingers on the sheets.

OMG thank god my standards are higher now!

She's 19, if she's got the ick time to move on, this one doesn't sound like a keeper!

At 19 we’d have squeezed in a single.
I actually got scabies off a uni house sofa at 19. Classy.
Who on earth gives up their bed for their son?! What a lovely woman. Nuts, but very generous. Mainly nuts though!

Someone who had not managed to clean a spare room despite having a free summer would strike me as lazy and juvenile, yes. I’d also find a 19 year old not having a summer job a real turn off.

lol yeh they are used to the single bed at uni !

Yeh she's fed up. Am hoping she has enough self worth to move on and not spoil any time next year at uni wit him

Yeah...it's pretty grim.

Yes this would give me the ick.

Hope she bins him!

I wouldn’t have the ick if I had to sleep in a very cluttered spare room.

But I absolutely would if I had to sleep in my boyfriend’s mother’s bed! I would get the ick if I had to sleep in my own mother’s bed!

I would assume it’s not “his” clutter so I can understand why he couldn’t really sort it out.

Ugghh 😟

Daughter was a guest in the mum's house. I can't understand why mum didn't declutter the spare rather than give up her own room. I would have, if I tried and failed to make my son clear it.
He sounds lazy but there was no need to make her uncomfortable by having to go in the mum's bed.