Current climate/virtue signalling opinions

[Lwrenn]

Hi 👋

I stupidly reactivated (for all of about 20 minutes) my Facebook profile earlier. I saw lots of people trying to suggest nice things to make Muslims and other targeted communities feel appreciated and welcome, a stance going against the riots.
These people were jumped on for "virtue signalling" and made were spoken to horribly actually.
I thought virtue signalling was more the selfies with homeless people when you've bought them a sausage roll or something. Basically my simplistic understanding of VS was doing something nice for the personal reward of being praised, not for the act it's self.
I'm sure it's more nuanced but truthfully I've never given it more thought.
But I'd hate to think people didn't do nice things in this climate to help people feel welcomed and supported in their own communities after all this vile hatred because they're scared they'll be attacked for being attention seeking.
If someone does something with no agenda or anonymously then surely that's not VS or have I got it all wrong? I'm genuinely asking, so any insight especially if you've strong opinions on this is welcomed. Thanks!

Yabu - it's still VS
Yanbu - it's not VS

Sounds like people were expressing solidarity. Nothing wrong with that.

The sort of idiots who seem to think others being nice / kind is “for show” or “virtue signalling” are the ones who are sooooo selfish they only ever think of their own needs and cannot comprehend of doing something for another person or for the greater good.

You can't say this or that is VS and the other isn't. Because to label something as such requires an insight into the thoughts and motivations of another person you can't possibly have. No one knows if others are sincere or saying the right things to look good on SM, do they? So personally I think it's best to respond only to what you see rather the imagined intent behind it. If you agree with the sentiments, great. If you feel they're patronising and self aggrandising then you can say that if you wish.

Thanks for the replies!
There are some wonderful people out there who do so much for charity and foodbanks, uniform banks, animal shelters etc and I'd hate to think these people would be attacked online for giving a shit about people. I see alot of people moaning about the people who do things to make communities clean and tidy or add hanging baskets etc.
Very mean spirited to go after people, often retired people who just want to be productive in making things nice.
I suppose there are always going to be people who do things for praise and what I believe is called "asspats" online but one of my neighbours does all sorts of lovely things for our community and I doesn't even use the Internet, let alone SM. She's a wee hermit but does lovely stuff for the kids.

Thanks for the perspectives. Much appreciated 💐

@Lwrenn - on your Facebook feed, you can prioritise certain people's posts over others. So I do this to weed out politics as much as I can so that all I see are posts to do with my hobbies and my friends' hobbies. It's better for mental health as poltics is so toxic these days.

People who shout 'virtue signalling' are judging others by their own standards.

Some people make posts all about them and their charitable deeds and how things make them feel and have a clear agenda to get people to praise them. Others just ask a question, or make a suggestion because they genuinely care.

The tone of the post would make it clear which person is which.

It's like people on here sometimes "AIBU to have given food to someone who was absolutely starving" clearly not, and clearly you just want a pat on the back, which is fine, but don't be disingenuous about it.

Being community minded and a decent human being isn't virtue signalling. Publicising an initiative to provide help for a particular group isn't virtue signalling.

Posting on SM about every small act you do to help someone else is virtue signalling. Posting to encourage others to participate in activities whilst doing nothing yourself is virtue signalling.

It's hard to know people's true motivation but the amount of praise people expect for just not being an arsehole to other people is staggering.

When people say 'You're virtue signalling' what they really mean is 'You support a cause I dislike'.

For example, I have been accused of 'virtue signalling' for wearing an Aids Trust red ribbon badge... by someone wearing a Help For Heroes badge. She vehemently insisted that she wasn't virtue signalling by wearing a badge to show she'd supported a charity, but somehow I was virtue signalling by doing exactly the same thing.

I'm willing to bet that the people accusing others of virtue signalling for supporting the Muslim community are not going around muttering about virtue signalling on social media posts about Macmillan coffee mornings or raising money for a hospice.

When people say 'You're virtue signalling' what they really mean is 'You support a cause I dislike'.

I agree.

I've been accused of "virtue signalling" on MN for calling out thinly-veiled racism/islamaphobia. Virtue signalling...on an anonymous forum. People who have racist views tend to cling to the belief that they're "just saying what everyone else is thinking". They'd rather believe that anyone who disagrees with them must be "virtue signalling" than accept that many people genuinely find their views morally repugnant.

It was absolutely destroying my mental wellness, seeing people I thought highly of saying some really awful things and this was prior to the Southport murders. Im in Merseyside so ive seen a lot of misdirected anger. I only use mumsnet now to chat to people who aren't my immediate circle. I enjoy the posters here more. They're capable of critical thinking and don't just spout bollocks. And the ones that do are immediately challenged.
Gets a bad rep does our old vipers nest and I've definitely had my share of less than pleasant comments directed at me but on the whole I've found mns a supportive and friendly place. And I like the dry humour on most of the threads.

An example of virtue signalling would be to, say, make a donation to a food bank and then post a screenshot of your donation receipt on social media to as many people as possible.

Another example would be saying something you don't really believe in just to fit in with the prevailing opinion e.g. "Isla Bryson is a woman!" or "I am a socialist (even though I have three properties)."

Virtue signalling is a Cluster B personality disorder trait, often seen in narcissists.

In the case you mentioned, it sounds like people were just being genuine, although of course you don't know that unless you can actually see into their minds.

I'd be tempted to just take it at face value and relax.

I disagree. I don’t think (most) people who call out virtue signalling are saying they disagree with the acts themselves (not including the examples given above). But it grates seeing people post flags / slogans on their Facebook or saying stuff about how everyone should come together and do x, y, z. A shitty flag picture and some comments about how sad you feel aren’t going to make anyone who wasn’t going to do something actually do something. It just means (or at least I interpret it as such), that you just want everyone on your friends list to know what a fabulous person you are.

I accept, as the poster above says, that we cannot really know the motivations for others, and so I would never comment something unkind. But I also don’t accept that people who think others are virtue signalling don’t do things to support others. They just do it quietly because, well, it’s not about them at all.

Or wearing a poppy…

There is also some hypocrisy involved in virtual signalling.