To ask for advice on turning 40

[KindredPoodle]

Turning 40 next year, and looking to crowdsource some advice from others on what to prioritise / do / not do in my 40’s.

Looking back there are a few things that (with hindsight) I can see I should have done more / less of in my 20s and 30s. Nothing major, but definitely a few regrets / missteps that I occasionally feel annoyed about. Would be good to go into 40 with a bit of advice from older wiser women, on what you really valued or regretted or should’ve prioritised in this decade.

Can be big / small / serious / unserious… do share

My only advice is recognise that you make decisions according to the information available to you at a time. Hence, there is absolutely no use ruminating about things you did/didn't do in the past.
Otherwise, you go to bed age 39 and you wake up age 40 and the world remains largely the same, trust me.
Look after your health and the rest is going to be OK.

Well I got married at 40 and then had two kids! So that was my decade in a nutshell!
But I'd get a hold of your weight if you notice it's starting to creep up, start a resistance exercise regime and Pilates which helps your core strength and consequently your back.
I'd see if job needs changing - it's harder to move in your fifties so take stock now if you have certain career goals.
Check in in your friendships. Have you let them drift due to childcare duties? Get back in touch and try and make meeting up a regular thing before they disappear altogether.
How are your parents' health? Have you discussed with them their future? Have you discussed this with your siblings should they need extra care and how this will be shared?
Partner (if you have one)? If you've been together for some years are you starting to take each other for granted? Maybe make a point of doing something just the two of you. We went away for our anniversary weekend every year, paying a friend's nanny to look after the kids. My own parents went away for a week or so most years we were growing up.
Finances. How's your pension? Do you have a mortgage and do you want to get rid of it. Or move? What would your finances look like if you were on your own, or if you are on your own now, combined with another's?
Finally, how satisfied are you with your life. Do you wish you were doing a different job that would require retraining? Do you want a(nother) child? Is there a hobby you are desperate to explore? If so, what are you waiting for?
Just a few things to think about.

I suggest Vegas for turning 40 🙂 So many flashy lights and cocktails…you’ll hardly notice it!

I was going through security (looking a little worse for wear) on my way home in Vegas and the agent looked at my ID and must have noticed my birthday was 2 days before and he asked “Do you feel older?” I asked “Why? Because I’m 40 now or because I’ve been in Vegas for 4 days?” he laughed and said “Yes” I laughed and said “Yes”.

Unfortunately once I got to my home airport I unexpectedly ran into somebody that I worked with… The first words out of mouth were “Don’t judge me… I turned 40 and was in Vegas for 4 days”. She just laughed and told me we never ran into each other and my secrets were safe with her.

tbh, i'm in my early 40s, and i've stopped caring what other people think about me.

I spent so much of my 20s/30s worrying about how i presented, wanting people to like me, wanting to fit in, chasing stuff that my few friends liked and i didn't, but it gave us common ground.

My marriage fell apart in my late 30s, and really, turning 40 was a massive turning point (was during lockdown) and i find myself now wearing clothes i love, doing hobbies i love, wearing my hair how i want, and not giving two fucks about what people think of me.. i have more friends, a life i love, and life really did begin at 40.

I lost weight and got for. I have kept those habits up for another couple of decades. Depending on your situation I also recommend making time for yourself and learning new skills/ taking up new interests.

Shake it up a bit.

Yeah I think health / weight is something you could let creep up on you. I’ve noticed in the last couple of years injuries taking longer to heal, joints getting a bit creaky, skin not snapping back into place etc. Can no longer get away with not giving exercise and eating habits some proper consideration.

And I do want to retrain. Job is fine but I don’t want to do it for twenty more years. We have two little kids and my rough plan is in a couple of years when they are in school and we stop haemorrhaging money on nursery fees to sort out the job situation.