Private tutor issue

[Lomoto]

I've named changed for this.

We are using a private tutor for our DD with ASD. DD 9 suffers from extreme anxiety and gets very overwhelmed so we specifically looked for a tutor who had experience with SEN. DH found one on Facebook and it all sounded good.

We initially paid for an assessment' to identify gaps which was done but we didn't get anything in writing. DD goes to their house for 2 hours a week and has said she feels uncomfortable. Often the tutor will disappear upstairs (clean etc) or do a phone call while DD works. DD asked why she worked on her own and the tutor said most children don't want someone watching over them. Which I totally get however DD is finding it very awkward as she is too shy to say when she has finished something. She also said she is left alone half the time. DD doesn't want to go to the tutor now and is having major autistic meltdown's.

So there are a couple of things which don't sit well with me. We are paying for the tutor to teach DD and I understand why dd would feel uncomfortable left in a room in someone's home sometimes with other members of the family there. Also we've not had anything in writing about the assessment. The tutor said she was registered with the local council but I can't find anywhere where this is the case?

I've not used a tutor before. Is this normal? Do councils register tutors? Something isn't sitting well but I also don't want to over react.

If your daughter is unhappy there I think that’s the primary thing to focus on and I’d find someone else. The other stuff is only if you have the energy to deal with it (I wouldn’t).

I would find a different tutor as your child isn't comfortable. My son aged 8 has learning difficulties and I've settled on a friend from work who is at uni studying primary teaching, she's gaining good experience and ds enjoys the lessons. It's more like a big sister really. Before her I used a guy from tutorful who was okay but a bit too reliant on worksheets and was used to working with children who don't need much support. Ds is below average in most subjects and needs 1-1 help to understand some maths and English concepts which school don't provide. We have the lessons at our house and I usually get them both a drink and then go in the garden to keep busy.

I tutor from home. I occasionally tramp off to another room on the same floor to get to a work sheet I’ve printed off because there isn’t space in the same room for the printer. But apart from that, I don’t leave my student alone, even if I need to give them the personal space to a task by themselves. I owe them that duty of care. They can take themselves to the toilet if they need to do so.

Thank you - appreciate the responses.
I think we'll call it a day but maybe I won't be explicit in saying why.

I tutored as a student, usually in pupils’ iwn houses. I always used a public room large enough that I could step back whilst the pupil was (briefly) doing some independent work, if they preferred me to.

This doesn’t sound right to me

I tutor. There's no register (unless she is also a childminder?). This person may have done some tutoring through the National Tutoring Programme, via the council, but that is meaningless to you.
They should (ideally) have a DBS on the update service and should definitely have business insurance in place for having your daughter in their home (and be able to show you). They should absolutely not be leaving your daughter where any member of their (presumably non-DBS checked) family can access her without your consent or her supervision.
As it is unregulated, tutors are free to act how they wish (e.g. with the lack of written feedback from the 'assessment' session) but you are also the paying customer and can ask for what you want.
Overall, this isn't a good fit anyway and you need to find a tutor that your daughter will get on with. I don't tutor children that young anymore so I can't help directly, but if you want help choosing someone suitable and avoiding making the same mistake again, you're welcome to message me.

It sounds odd to me too, but tbh the fact that your DD feels uncomfortable there would be enough for me to stop sending her. She won't learn if she doesn't feel relaxed. Sometimes you have to try a few tutors to find the right fit.

Doesn't sound normal to me. We've had several tutors and had them all come to our home while we're around - not in same room, but it's always expected that we're in the house not leaving them completely alone together. And they spend the whole hour (never done more than an hour) with the DC, working with them. Not just setting work and going off. It sounds really unsuitable. I'd start over and specify that you want a tutor at your home, it might cost more but it's worth it for a 9yo, especially with the issues you describe.

As an aside, I wouldn't expect anything written back from an 'assessment' in this situation though. Presume they meant them assessing your DC's needs so they can tailor what they teach. It's not a professional assessment with a report for you like it would be from a psych or someone diagnosing something for you.

Alarm bells

generally try to go with recommendations rather than Facebook ; I know it’s super hard though

all tutors I’ve had before for my kids were either recommendation or part of a bigger tutoring company (where I can go and complain in case of issues )

I’d get rid

Appreciate the feedback on the assessment that might have been an expectation on my side which was realistic. It was quite expensive (£100 for a written test again dd was left to do it) so I assumed there would be a follow up.

Also she’s supposed to have SEN experience but your kid doesn’t want her now so her SEN experience doesn’t really work, does it?

what’s the point having her?

Nope and you're all confirming what I think. My DH is more on the fence than I hence posting.

Use this as a basis for knowing what you want from your next tutor. If your daughter is unhappy then she won’t learn and I don’t agree with leaving a 9 yr old with additional learning needs to just get on with it. That’s fine for any work she wants consolidated in home time but not during tutoring time. And it should be where your daughter feels comfortable ie her own home. But let your daughter feel listened to. The very fact she’s unhappy is enough without all the other issues which I agree are not ideal.

Thank you for clarifying and the offer that's really useful.

Appreciate the feedback on the assessment that might have been an expectation on my side which was realistic. It was quite expensive (£100 for a written test again dd was left to do it) so I assumed there would be a follow up.

Oh okay, that's different that you paid extra for it. Most tutors would use a first session to 'assess' needs, but a formal assessment at a cost above the hourly rate isn't something I've come across. It's still an assessment for them, not you, so wouldn't have expected anything formally written up, but would've got verbal feedback from them at least (and do after every session, informally as a chat on the way out, how DC is doing and so on).

Anyway it's best to move on from your current tutor and try someone else more attentive, and most importantly who your DC is comfortable with and learning from. We had a good recommendation through primary school and have tended to go through the bigger tutoring sites to source tutors for KS3&4.

Agree that this tutor doesn’t sound like a good fit for your DD. If I was tutoring a child with gaps in their learning I’d be using a lot of active, hands-on, multisensory activities for two reasons. First, it would give me a better idea of what the child was finding difficult so I could explain it in a way they understand and second if they haven’t grasped something at school lots of independent worksheets aren’t going to make much difference whereas there’s good evidence behind using a multisensory approach.

You’re paying for a service OP so a good tutor should be willing to explain the way that they work before you hire them. Your DD shouldn’t be working alone for half the session.

Thanks everyone for the advice. We'll cancel and find someone more suitable.

A tutor should never leave a child alone. They are responsible for them in that moment. Personally, I feel a lot more relaxed about them receiving the lessons online because I can I be around to help and oversee the lesson. We found a really good tutor from I Tutor Club. The teachers are professional school teachers with DBS. So it gives you a lot of peace of mind