To find it very rude when people discount my children because their own have grown up and they're "beyond all that"?

[PrettyCandles]

I'm not expecting everybody to find my LOs fascinating and wonderful, I know people aren't necessarily interested in other peoples' children, but to complete brush aside my major occupation seems to me to be disrespectful. It's as if a retired person dismissed a working person because they were "beyond all that", or a working person dismissed a university student because they were "beyond all that".

This is my job. Don't be rude about my work!

i really don't get people who think other people should be interested in their kids. i mean fair enough i agree with the op and don't dismiss others kids (not sure what that means but i'm not openly hostile). but ther are so many people (mostly in the office where i can't escape them) whotalk non-stop about their little johnny and if you don't feign interest they act as though you are a child hater.
however what prettycandles described is not the same.if it's a family get together and she seems to be going out of her way to make you feel unwelcome she is just being difficult and sounds like the kind of person who would find something to complain about f you didn't have kids with you.

MAS - Yes that pretty much sums up how I felt about her dc's parties all the years I helped at them. But I thought it was what family/friends did for each other, more fool me I suppose.

fair point - I'd help out of course if asked though she knows I'd rather not !

I'm with the bod. It's one thing not being interested in kids as a generality. It's another making kids in your family as welcome as a boil on the bum. And if the family occasion is a Seder, then I think it's very very rude indeed to have that attitude.

Aren't these occasions supposed to be all about family? An extended family which didn't include some children would be fairly strange, surely?

To be charitable, maybe she is just v.v. stressed about hosting the whole event and is taking it out on you?

The restaurant bit is ridiculous - in what way do they "not accomodate" children?!

We're back. It was - OK. -ish. I think it all boiled down to her being totally over-stressed about it all. It turns out that everyone felt uncomfortable and somewhat unwelcome. We all seemed to put our foot in it at some point, despite all of us doing our best to be good, helpful, guests.

And I'm proud to say that my lot managed to be exceptionally good (and cute ) while still being bouncy, normal, children.

The day after the main event (the Seder) she was all sweetness - back to what I have always thought was her normal self - and was completely amazed when she realised that dh and I were loading up to leave that evening. However, not only had we said all along that we would leave on Sunday afternoon, but we had to flee - sharpish - before she discovered that one of us had dropped a crumb of chocolate on the cream carpet that morning!

BTW Bob, I agree with you!

i know what you mean, i have a friend well shes an ex friend now, we both have 17 yos, she has four children, all within a five year age gap, so her youngest is twelve. Whenever she sees me with my DD, now 2.6 she says, oh, god, ive beeen there done that, definately dont want to do that again, and then goes on and on about her and her DH are getting their lives back but actually not