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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Kids, trees, screaming and whistles.

38 replies

Anto2024 · 07/08/2024 10:48

A little background… Once upon a time… We moved into our home just over three years ago, we noticed very quickly that the neighbours children were loud.

Their trampoline was a few feet from our fence and they would, all three, bounce and scream until their hearts were content.

One afternoon their mother was shouting for their attention, asking why they weren’t listening, and I half jested to my partner that the children probably couldn’t hear her having deafened each other from the constant piercing squeals. I didn’t realise my own volume, and heard her say to the children, “think of the neighbours!”.

Cut to the next day, and mother ushered the children onto the trampoline, encouraging them to play a game that involved a lot of screaming, which in itself didn’t bother me, but the day before there seemed to be a brief concern about the level of noise, and now there was none at all, which made me wonder if this was now being done to be an annoyance.

The children steadily grow more obnoxious by the day, probably not helped by what seems to be a lack of attention from the parents, but there we are.

They are now friends with our direct neighbours children and so last year, kept appearing in the corner of their boundary and ours. We raised our fence a little this spring so they couldn’t see directly into our home but now they scale the tree just behind that raised fence and can see across pretty much our entire garden. I don’t care that they’re there, and to a degree can block out their incessant racket, I just don’t appreciate our privacy being encroached upon.

I’m not sure there is any talking to the parents as I think they hate us for daring speak about their little darlings screaming habits, (so much so one of them has now been given a whistle) but it does feel better to type this out.

OP posts:
Rhaidimiddim · 07/08/2024 11:01

Perhaps have a word with the other neighbours about their childrens' behaviour? See whether they are more reasonable.

MargaretThursday · 07/08/2024 11:18

If you were loud enough for her to hear you over her children being loud, and from another garden then she probably thinks you were making a passive aggressive comment deliberately for her to hear.

CaptainBolt · 07/08/2024 11:20

I can't stand children screaming; it's so unnecessary and parents clearly don't bother teaching them to be considerate. Sorry you've got such hideous neighbours.

wastingtimeonhere · 07/08/2024 11:23

Maybe take up nudity in the garden, bet they soon get the little darlings in their own space.

MissyB1 · 07/08/2024 11:24

Honestly I would want to move. Having said that in a few years they will be teens and will stop playing out, so it should all calm down then.

Anto2024 · 07/08/2024 12:34

MargaretThursday · 07/08/2024 11:18

If you were loud enough for her to hear you over her children being loud, and from another garden then she probably thinks you were making a passive aggressive comment deliberately for her to hear.

She had managed to get their attention, and so silence had fallen for a brief moment of respite.

A good point to be made, actually, is that one doesn’t need to raise one’s voice to be heard from my back door to theirs, and so of course their screaming is going to be extremely loud when normal talking is audible at that distance.

My guess is you were right that my comments were heard as passive aggressive. I’m not sure a court in the land would blame me. They’d been at it since just after 5am.

OP posts:
Anto2024 · 07/08/2024 12:43

wastingtimeonhere · 07/08/2024 11:23

Maybe take up nudity in the garden, bet they soon get the little darlings in their own space.

We sometimes did, and that’s why I don’t appreciate the invasion of privacy.

People these days would try and have me put on a list knowing their children could see, rather than taking responsibility of what their children are trying to look at, so we no longer enjoy our garden like that.

OP posts:
Fruitloopi · 07/08/2024 13:21

Put in some some tall growing plants/hedging that block the tree climbers view If you've money you can get pleached trees that are already 8ft so work as a green screening but without the bulk at the base like a hedge or shrubs.

I feel your pain as there's some kids who live somewhere at the back of my garden who spend about 95% time they play just screaming loudly and then the parents shout to be heard 🙉. I'm very relived I don't live next door given how far their noise is travelling. I'm now looking forward to wet days and when they go back to school so they've less hours to play out as I have to keep the windows shut so it doesn't interrupt my work. There are some other kids living nearby but thankfully they don't play as noisily.

Anto2024 · 07/08/2024 14:07

Fruitloopi · 07/08/2024 13:21

Put in some some tall growing plants/hedging that block the tree climbers view If you've money you can get pleached trees that are already 8ft so work as a green screening but without the bulk at the base like a hedge or shrubs.

I feel your pain as there's some kids who live somewhere at the back of my garden who spend about 95% time they play just screaming loudly and then the parents shout to be heard 🙉. I'm very relived I don't live next door given how far their noise is travelling. I'm now looking forward to wet days and when they go back to school so they've less hours to play out as I have to keep the windows shut so it doesn't interrupt my work. There are some other kids living nearby but thankfully they don't play as noisily.

That’s also part of the problem here. The parents sit on their behinds hollering from the house if they want them to come
in or stop doing something rather than come out and tell them, adding to the overall noise.

I lived with my partner in college accommodation for several years before moving here and 200 18-20 somethings had absolutely nothing on this one families decibel level.

OP posts:
newleafontheplantjohn · 07/08/2024 14:10

I don't know what you mean that they are now friends with your direct neighbours children?

Are they not your direct neighbours? As you share a fence?

Anto2024 · 07/08/2024 14:18

newleafontheplantjohn · 07/08/2024 14:10

I don't know what you mean that they are now friends with your direct neighbours children?

Are they not your direct neighbours? As you share a fence?

We share a fence, but their house isn’t on our road.

Edit: The gardens are in a strange layout

OP posts:
GirlMumGabby · 07/08/2024 14:20

I'm in a similar situation but the kids play out the front. The parents yell at them out the window to communicate.
I'm hoping as they get older they will get into computer games or be allowed to go off the estate to a park.
It becomes distressing when it's non stop. Every time I hear a noise I find myself looking out the window annoyed. I never use to be like that.

WonderingWanda · 07/08/2024 14:24

Anto2024 · 07/08/2024 12:34

She had managed to get their attention, and so silence had fallen for a brief moment of respite.

A good point to be made, actually, is that one doesn’t need to raise one’s voice to be heard from my back door to theirs, and so of course their screaming is going to be extremely loud when normal talking is audible at that distance.

My guess is you were right that my comments were heard as passive aggressive. I’m not sure a court in the land would blame me. They’d been at it since just after 5am.

5 am? Have you not been round and banged on the door at that time in the morning to tell them all to shut up?

WonderingWanda · 07/08/2024 14:24

Also what about a well placed sprinkler to discourage the tree climbing?

Anto2024 · 07/08/2024 14:39

WonderingWanda · 07/08/2024 14:24

Also what about a well placed sprinkler to discourage the tree climbing?

I’ve not been round, no. Tempting as it is.

As for the sprinkler. I fear it’d be classed as some kind of assault, and I don’t want to encourage them to fire water at us.

It’s bad enough with those Nerf bullets everywhere and balls bouncing off our conservatory roof.

OP posts:
Anto2024 · 07/08/2024 14:52

Rhaidimiddim · 07/08/2024 11:01

Perhaps have a word with the other neighbours about their childrens' behaviour? See whether they are more reasonable.

Our “direct” neighbours encourage their children to kick their balls as high as they can, and have never apologised when they come crashing over or said thank you when I pop them back over the fence.

We’ve spent thousands of pounds and many hundreds of hours on our garden to make it look nice. Luckily they’ve not broken anything, yet.

They also don’t actively discourage them from riding their scooters or bikes between mine and their car, which is also a bit of a worry for me to be honest.

We have a camera pointing at our drive for protection from potential theft, but the bigger worry is the children as it’s a relatively safe area from crime.

I’d like to think of them as being absent minded rather than intentionally problematic or provocative.

OP posts:
JazbayGrapes · 07/08/2024 15:00

Play loud music or get yourself a barky dog

BuckWeed · 07/08/2024 15:19

oh my lord - are you me?!

We have the exact same issue, 3 girls screaming on a trampoline feet away from our fence. Its even worse now its summer holidays, can be anytime from 8am - 10pm, sometimes all day.

Luckily, a Police officer was walking past my home and i grabbed them to discuss the noise (they have had reports before for antisocial behaviour) so i think he had an unofficial word - things seem to be better for now.

But it's just unbelievable isnt it, i can't figure out how the parents don't find the noise they make unacceptable?! I suppose it makes them easier to sit smoking and drinking all day if they dont actually have to parent their children.

coxesorangepippin · 07/08/2024 15:34

Go outside and tell them off??

Why are people so feckless these days?

coxesorangepippin · 07/08/2024 15:35

Or call the police

You have a right to tranquility

TruthorDie · 07/08/2024 15:40

WonderingWanda · 07/08/2024 14:24

5 am? Have you not been round and banged on the door at that time in the morning to tell them all to shut up?

This. Letting children go outside to scream at 5am is impressively obnoxious

Anto2024 · 07/08/2024 15:40

BuckWeed · 07/08/2024 15:19

oh my lord - are you me?!

We have the exact same issue, 3 girls screaming on a trampoline feet away from our fence. Its even worse now its summer holidays, can be anytime from 8am - 10pm, sometimes all day.

Luckily, a Police officer was walking past my home and i grabbed them to discuss the noise (they have had reports before for antisocial behaviour) so i think he had an unofficial word - things seem to be better for now.

But it's just unbelievable isnt it, i can't figure out how the parents don't find the noise they make unacceptable?! I suppose it makes them easier to sit smoking and drinking all day if they dont actually have to parent their children.

I have often seen the father sitting out smoking and get a whiff of “herbal” cigarettes.

I think I would take up drinking and drugs if I had to live in the same house with them, too.

It’s one way to cope or filter out the sound.

OP posts:
GoFigure235 · 07/08/2024 15:53

I have a child who can be loud and if I overheard your comment, I'd find it funny 😂. I'd also tell my DC to shut up, we don't live on a deserted island and we have to share our environment with other people.

That's assuming you haven't had noisy building works done recently and don't mow the lawn at 5am in the morning or play loud music. In which case, I'd probably view you as fair game, sorry!

GoFigure235 · 07/08/2024 15:55

BuckWeed · 07/08/2024 15:19

oh my lord - are you me?!

We have the exact same issue, 3 girls screaming on a trampoline feet away from our fence. Its even worse now its summer holidays, can be anytime from 8am - 10pm, sometimes all day.

Luckily, a Police officer was walking past my home and i grabbed them to discuss the noise (they have had reports before for antisocial behaviour) so i think he had an unofficial word - things seem to be better for now.

But it's just unbelievable isnt it, i can't figure out how the parents don't find the noise they make unacceptable?! I suppose it makes them easier to sit smoking and drinking all day if they dont actually have to parent their children.

You do become accustomed to it to a certain degree, but I agree that's no excuse for allowing it to be inflicted on others.

Anto2024 · 07/08/2024 16:39

GoFigure235 · 07/08/2024 15:53

I have a child who can be loud and if I overheard your comment, I'd find it funny 😂. I'd also tell my DC to shut up, we don't live on a deserted island and we have to share our environment with other people.

That's assuming you haven't had noisy building works done recently and don't mow the lawn at 5am in the morning or play loud music. In which case, I'd probably view you as fair game, sorry!

It’s funny you should mention building works.

They went on holiday for two weeks, (arrived back Monday evening, JOY). and they’d arranged for builders to come in the day after they left to dismantle something, which needed metal cutting saws, which went on all day.

Pair the sound of grinding metal with sexist, racist and homophobic comments echoing over the fence.

At least it was only one day, but still, stay at home to keep your builders in check.

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