...to find it annoying and a bit sad really that my friend who only has sons thinks that teenage pregnancy is nothing she needs to worry about...

[DANCESwithLordPottingtonSmythe]

I have a beautiful dd and a ds and when we talk about when they are teenagers they always laugh and say well at least we don't have to worry about that (pregnancy). Of course I realise that their son CAN'T get pg so obviously that isn't a risk but he could be a father from as soon as he is sexually active.

Surely it's this sort of attitude that perpetuates our culture of fathers not being responsible - feeling their lives won't be changed by an unplanned baby. Don't get me wrong there are teenagers who act responsibly in this situation but for all those who don't, well it really makes me to think their attitude may have come from their parents.

yanbu -boys need to be as much aware of the risks of unprotected sex as girls and your friend should teach her son that.

i have only boys and am probably more worried than i would be if i had girls, at least the girl has control of the situation if it happens.

however i think she was probably joking so yabu

Have you heard the phrase 'many a true word spoken in jest' - I think it holds true here.

My friends are responsible parents and I'm sure that they will teach their son about safe sex but the 'it won't be our/his' problem attitude that still irks me.

she would soon stop laughing if she still holds that thought when they are teens, the boys also hold that thought, and then TEN girls father start beating their door down cos they've got so many girls pregnant!!!!

maybe you could jokingly tell her that one!

What are they supposed to do? Cut their sons' dicks off? FFS is it whining buckethead day on MN or what?

Madamez - whining buckethead?! Do you have a daughter? How would you feel if she came home pg and the boy who was the father clearly felt it wasn't his problem?!

I am really starting to feel sorry for men on MN at the moment. Damned if they do, damned if they don't, it would appear.

My ds 12 has got the message that you need 28 condoms and a carrier bag before you have sex with anyone at all! He also knows that doing it standing up can cause pregnancy and doing it for the first time, and that I will cut his dick off if he doesn't take adequate precautions when older.

That said, he is currently more interested in Star Wars, PS2 and computer games and Warhammer to even bother about girls and says yeuch when they're mentioned. I apparently am not a girl, but a Mum, so I am firmly back in my box.

Explain please suebaroo - damned if they teach their sons responsibility and safe sex?...unlikely I think, even in mumsnet crazy moments!

LOL Scaryteacher

Dances, oh, I'm just a bit about some of the comments on another thread about men having the temerity to want to be involved in the lives of their offspring.

Couple that with this, and it does sort of highlight the confuddling position modern men contend with. Personally, I'm not planning a significant difference in any approach to sex-ed for my girls or my boy.

But if my son were to be feckless enough to impregnate a girl, the simple fact is that even if he were wanting to do the right thing, it's actually, for all intents and purposes, none of his business.

She will be able to decide whether to have the child or not, she can exclude him from the pregnancy if she wishes. So no, I wouldn't automatically assume that it would be the same sort of issue as if one of my daughters got pregnant.

I would be more than willing to be 100% supportive of the girl, and I would encourage my son to be also (actually I would damn well expect it of him), but that's not the same thing.

As a mother of two boys I would be furious if they became a teenage father. But, sorry, it just does not impact on their lives as much as a teenage mum. My boys will be taught about repect and contraception BUT they probably won't be the ones doing night feeds.

Just to be even more controversial I have 2 boys and although we are a long way off needing to have a chat about such things, when the time comes I will be trying to make them understand that they must take responsibility for contraception however much they love and trust the girl concerned.

a) because of STDs and,

b) because once pregnant, although it was not planned or wanted before it actually accidently happened, many girls will want to have the baby, possibly because they are in love can not see the downside to straitjacketing themselves at such an early age or more likely because they would be upset at the thought of a termination and unable to go through with it so he will become a father whether he wants to or not. If they do have a termination it may affect them emotionally for the rest of their lives, all of which is not pleasant to talk about but needs saying.

The point I would hope to make is that you need to make the decision about whether you would mind becoming a teenage father, before you have sex, by using a condom. In case they are embarrassed at the thought of buying condoms I'll get some in Tesco with the weekly shopping and hand them out when we have our chat, making it quite clear that they can pretend to have given them to their mates for all I care so long as if they do have sex they use a condom every time.

Why ever not, Whaffletrees? If my teenage son became a father, I wouldn't automatically assume it wouldn't be him looking after the baby.

Well he's not going to breastfeed at 3 in the morning, is he? I don't think any amount of teaching responsibility is going to make that possible.

YANBU.
Oh... I'm all right, I've got sons. I haven't got to worry about careless sex and my son catching AIDS. It is attitude like that that really pisses me off. What is so wrong with teaching son's respect, not only for others but also for themselves?
I have four ds's ranging from 21 to 15 and they all know that unprotected sex is the biggest no-no they can commit in this family.... In fact, I make it clear that it is their responsibility to protect themselves because as sitdown sez some girls might want to have a baby. I make a point of being fully open about condom's, about the fact that if they are stupid enough to get someone pregnant THEY would be financially responsible for that child until it reaches 18 and if they don't stay together, which is likely, they needn't think that the burden of care rests just with the mother. I'm not saying I'm a prude, or that I wouldn't want grandchildren because if the truth be known I'm quite looking forward to it BUT not at the expense of my own child's life and well-being. God knows it's hard enough to survive nowadays without all that responsibility at such a young age.

I'm with sueBaroo. And no-one has said that it's ok for teen boys to have unprotected sex ecause they won't get aids/won't get a girl pregnant, but the result is different. Because ultimately it is the girl who makes the decisions about whether the father has access/should pay/is even allowed to be named on the birth certificate. And it is the girl who decides whether she will abort the boy's child, because yes, it is his child too, and yet for some reason men have very little say in their children's lives if the mothers don't want them to.

I feel sorry for fathers actually. Because when it comes to equality, it seems that mothers are more equal than fathers.

My ds 16 is under no illusion that paying maintenance would stop all of his wonderful single lifestyle, travelling around the world.

Not to mention STD's!

I have a DS but he's only 5 so not yet at the stage for this kind of talk. However its one thing I will be most adamant on - him not becoming a father at a young age or having unprotected sex.

There are too many throwaway relationships and girls that see motherhood as their meal ticket that may claim to be taking precautions so its down to males to take their own precautions.

ugh get stuffed

I just rang that number and someone from Battersea Dogs Home answered.

And I haven't changed my mind in a whole year, how 'bout that.