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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Comparison between kids

3 replies

Rosesbeforelove · 06/08/2024 22:06

I’m just having a proper huff here and in true huff style would like to know if it’s justified or if I’m massively overreacting and need to get over myself.

context: I’m single mum to 3 kids, 2 are neurodiverse, 1
has chronic condition. Life is tough with nice days thrown in where no dramas /
medical things get in the way.

my ND kids are very linear, they only like physicsl contact
on their terms, aren't "cuddly smiley" kids etc and have always been this way.

my brother had a
baby 6 months ago who is super cute, smiley, engaging etc.
my mum just came back from a weekend with them saying how lovely
it was to be with such a smiley, happy baby who loves cuddles. said she remembers
even at that age my 2 never smiling/ not engaging/ etc. it felt
like a comparison and not a favourableone at that. my mum is getting on and i dont know why it rankled me as much as it did. i ended up making up a headache as felt
myself getting annoyed and dont want to be unreasonably annoyed.

am i being over sensitive? just feel hacked off ☹️

OP posts:
Timeforsnacks · 06/08/2024 22:20

You are right to feel very upset because it's a sad thing to hear so you are justified to be in a huff surely. It must be heartbreaking noticing the difference yourself without someone else pointing it out.
Only you will know if she meant to upset you or just didn't realise it may hurt your feelings to hear it out loud.

Rosesbeforelove · 06/08/2024 22:23

She definitely didn’t set out to hurt my feelings on purpose but the comparison stung ☹️I rarely feel huffy but I do on this!

OP posts:
Rosesbeforelove · 06/08/2024 22:24

And thank you - you’re spot on. It’s hard because I notice it every
dau when smiley kids chat away to anyone and mine look sullen and rude though they’re not, so to hear someone else say it feels weirdly harsh tho I’m sure everyone thinks it x

OP posts:
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