I’ve been feeling extremely lonely for a while especially since moving to a new neighbourhood nearly 2 years ago now. Not one person came and introduced themselves when I moved in so I would introduce myself everytime I took a walk with the kids. It’s a Large a cul-de-sac Type place, people seem friendly but it feels like I have to make an effort which is fine.
Last few weeks I decided I need to get to know my neighbours properly, Whenever I met mums same age as me and had kids similar ages I would swap numbers. It didn’t really go anywhere as they all have friends and I see them going into everyone’s homes so busy social lives.
I decided to focus on just one of the really nice ones recently but I don’t know why I’m feeling like this but I kind of regret it, I messaged her 2 weeks ago to just pop over for tea and kids can play. She was genuinely really excited and I know not faking it but I just find it so tiresome. We decided on in a day 2 weeks ago and I cleaned house top to bottom, brought in lovely cakes, kept telling my kids not to makes a mess! The time was a rough large window between so and so time which I don’t like as I prefer a shorter window but anyway I’m the one desperate for friends not them so fine. I waited a while and kind of wasted a day she then messaged early evening saying her kids are tired and can we postpone. I was really nice about it and said of course we can and not to worry.
I’m not going to write every detail but this happened 2x more. Most recent today! I’m just exhausted. I’m naturally introverted so I have to kind of have to push myself harder than normal people and pych myself out to prepare. I feel I’ve wasted 3 days - I know people will say I could have gone out but my mental state is I need to make sure the house is perfect for someone I don’t know - if family or old friends I wouldn’t care if house was messy
I’m really annoyed with myself as she just messaged today saying can we do tomorrow afternoon! And I’ve said sure see you then! Can someone give me insight into what my issue is and how to deal I think I’m ND as I find these things so stressful but I can’t be as I’m fine with established friends and obviously family I’m okay around too.
I feel another day wasted. I also tried last time by saying I can meet at x time as have to somewhere y time but she just responded “oh I can’t at that time but I’ll pop over when you get back” as you can imagine more stress for me.
im feeling having friends is more hassle. I could have had a relaxing couple of weeks and not worry about cleaning and being on top of things etc.