Another wedding one…

[TopazSlinky]

This was from ages ago, but would appreciate some feedback as it’s still (yes, still!!!!) causing issues…

Wedding with around 90 guests - bride and groom both only inviting a couple of cousins each as too many to invite when don’t see them regularly.

Two cousins on groom’s side invited without partners (in their teens). Older cousins invited with partners - had met them and knew them plus they had kids too.

Auntie of groom (Mum to the two cousins whose partners weren’t invited) wrote a letter and hand delivered it saying that the partners must be invited and that she and her husband (who she didn’t like) would attend the ceremony only to ensure there was enough space thus no one took up an extra space (not sure where they were supposed to be at the ceremony?!?).

The answer was no.

Bride’s parents got phone calls demanding that they convince the couple to change their minds. They didn’t.

The groom’s mum was insisting they changed their minds too. Groom’s grandmother threatened to walk out during the ceremony if the couple didn’t change their minds.

In the end, they backed down and said Auntie and Uncle wouldn’t come and it would just be the cousins and their partners then.

Female cousin and her partner pulled out the day before the wedding. Two places that could have gone to friends or family members!

After the wedding, the groom’s mum threw a joint party for the wedding and one of the cousin’s birthdays. The auntie was there and put up photos of the kids from when they were young. She cut the groom out of them all.

Every family occasion, she turns to face the wall to ignore the couple.

I was the bride! WIBU???

I don’t think you were supposed to accept the aunt and uncle not attending the ceremony.

Your wedding your rules. What was the reason for saying no when they offered up their spaces? It's unfair to invite some cousins with partners and some without. But I cant understand anyone acting so weird about a wedding invite (them not you).

Groom wanted his Auntie and Uncle there!

We felt established adult relationships were different to teenage ones. It was discussed in depth.

Why on earth would young cousins need a plus one to a wedding? It's different if the cousins are adult and in an established relationship. But teenagers don't need a plus one, especially if they are attending the wedding with their parents and siblings and will know plenty of extended family.

Auntie is unhinged. It might not be ideal, it might not be their choice, but it's not their wedding. If someone is not happy not to have a plus one, they just decline.

"Mummy" doesn't get to throw a tantrum and ruin it for everybody else.

Two cousins on groom’s side invited without partners (in their teens)

Just want more context, are we talking 13/14 or are we talking 18/19 and in relationships for over a year.

Hopefully the ending of that story is "bride and groom have decided to go no contact with groom's toxic family and they both lived happily ever after".

This happened at one of my family’s weddings; bride and groom gave in for the sake of family relations and in theory we’ve all moved on but I’ll always look at this family member a bit differently now as the fuss they made was ridiculous

I'm with you on that. My stepson's girlfriend wasn't invited to our wedding. He'd been with her 3 months and he goes through about 5 a year. I don't think you should feel obliged to have people you've never even met who likely won't be in the picture in 6 months at your wedding.

let it go.. move on! why are you still wasting your time and energy worrying about this.

Ok my opinion

You are never going to please everyone and someone is ALWAYS going to be offended about not being invited to your wedding.

Auntie sounds crazy over the top imo

One thing I would say is I would have invited the partners if they had been together for say over a year. I had a 4 year relationship by the time I turned 19, yes I would of been a bit upset if bf wasn’t invited to the wedding as we were “only teens” however if you are talking 5 month relationships then yanbu

Either way it’s your wedding your rules x

I'd be wondering what I'd married into! Avoid family gatherings with rude Aunt and get on with your life with as little contact with his extended family as possible 🤷‍♀️

Your husband's whole family sound awful and massively dramatic.

I'd keep them at arm's length.

Drama drama drama - I would just have eloped hahahaha

Sorry but teenagers don't have 'partners'. They have casual relationships which may or may not last!

We wanted to keep numbers down so we only invited the 'partners' or our friends who we knew and liked. Tbh most wanted to come just with their group of friends.

What on earth have you married into?! Jeeze, retreat from the whole lot of them why would you even still attend family events to be literally blanked?

Your wedding your rules however choosing a venue where you have to restrict numbers is the issue. If couples choose a venue for the ceremony which can fit all their family and friends and arrange an evening event where numbers are flexible you can get around most the issues (fine to restrict a sit down meal though buffet or BBQ can make better sense for larger gatherings

16 and 19 - less than a year IIRC

We didn’t want a huge wedding. Not our style at all. We loved the venue.

Your wedding your rules but you should have had a completely different wedding that you didn't want?

This.

How utterly batshit and entitled those people are.

Let wall-facing auntie make a laughing stock of herself if she chooses.

That's irrelevant. They can attend family events without a date.

Poor Bride and Groom, they should've eloped